N0 B0DY, N0 CRIM3 | Bang Chan

Ending, ending, endless

Chan plopped down in the beanbag chair and stared over at Kiera for a while. From where the beanbag was sitting, he was facing her. Her face was completely relaxed. Pink lips pressed together. Her left cheek was pressed into the side of a pillow. 

He pitied Kiera Campbell for a wide variety of reasons. He couldn't imagine being her. Her life was just one obstacle after the next, after the next, after the next. Sure Chan's life was difficult too, but he made it that way. 

He was the one that decided to stay up for hours at a time. He went after criminals on his own accord. He was the one that made the choice to go after Kiera's father. Sure it all had a purpose, but he was the master of his own madness. After his father died, he had gotten a chance to live life on his own terms. He'd been living that way for years now. 

Kiera had never gotten a choice. Her parents had created a life for her since she was a kid. Forced to compress her true identity and fit into a preconstructed mold. Even as an adult, she still wasn't in control of her own life. Forced to follow her parents or risk it all. 

Chan hadn't helped her much. He had kidnapped her and had her Interrogated by Han and Lee Know. She had been tortured by Changbin. Threatened with a gun. Twice. She fell out of a tree and now she was down with food poisoning. How was she not exhausted? 

"I didn't know you were into plushies. They make you look a lot less scary." Kiera's groggy voice snapped Chan out of it. 

He glanced down at Felix's plushie that he was holding. He hadn't meant to, but he wrapped his arms around its neck. He shrugged his shoulders, "I guess there's a lot of things you don't know about me." 

"Why are you here and not Felix?" 

"Unfortunately, the two of us are stuck here for now." 

"Stuck?" The corners of her mouth turned into a frown. "Why?" 

"The door knob fell off, so we can't get out of the room. Don't worry, reinforcements are on the way. I'm sure we'll be able to get out soon. In the meantime, I heard that someone has been plagued with a bad case of food poisoning." 

Kiera groaned and squeezed her eyes shut. "Please don't remind me. I can literally feel my stomach performing somersaults and it fucking sucks." 

"Before we got stuck in here, I brought you some water." Chan nodded towards the bottle on her bed. "You should go ahead and drink some, so you're not so dehydrated." 

Kiera sucked in a deep breath and forced herself to sit up. She squeezed her eyes shut while trying to keep down her stomach acid. Realizing this, Chan stood up, grabbed the water bottle, and opened it for her. "Here, drink some of this." He gently pressed the bottle against Kiera's lips. She took a few sips of water as he tipped the bottle back.  

He pulled the bottle away and recapped it. She mumbled a quiet appreciation and laid back down on the bed. He returned to his beanbag and the pair sat in silence for a while until Kiera spoke his name. 

"Hmm?" 

"Why are you being so nice to me now? You had me tortured in the very beginning. I know your original plan was to kill me. You can't be treating me this nicely just because you want me to bring down my father." Kiera stared up at the ceiling. "I don't want some stupid bullshit excuse, I want the truth." 

"The truth is that I pity you." 

"Doesn't everyone?" 

"Well, no. Not everyone here pities you. Some members don't like you much, but I can't blame them. We've all grown up differently and had different experiences. We all agree that your dad is a jackass, but not everyone pities you." 

"Really?" 

"Seungmin thinks you're stupid for not leaving your parents house the moment you turned eighteen." 

"I suppose he's right. Being away from the situation and looking at it from a larger viewpoint, I don't understand why I didn't leave. I'm sure I could have found somewhere to go. It would have taken me a while to get on my feet, but I guess hindsight is 20/20." 

"I don't think it's stupid, Kiera. A lot of people don't understand why people stay in shitty situations, but sometimes you have to. When you're isolated from everyone, you have nobody, but your abuser and yourself. When your self worth has shattered and when you're terrified of the unknown, it's easy to get stuck. It's easier to stay stuck in the web of chaos because, at least, you know what you'll experience." 

"It might not be good. It might destroy you, but it's predictable. You'll brace yourself for the abuse, you'll believe the gaslighting, you'll fall for the manipulation. The cycle of abuse goes around and around and it's a difficult thing to escape. It doesn't make you stupid or worthless, it means you're a victim. Hell, even getting up daily and dealing with it, that takes a lot of bravery."

"When people survive these things," Chan went on, "I think they should be proud of themselves. People go through horrible, horrible things sometimes. They're thrown into situations, they meet bad people, they get raised up in it. The best thing people can do is look out for each other."  

"Your father," Kiera suddenly started. "Back at the warehouse when you said you understood how it felt to have your parents pick your image for you...your gang now...and you're protecting them." Her thoughts jumbled together at once.

"I didn't mean to meet all the members, but our paths connected one way or another. My father was cruel and calculated. He was the most charming man you could ever meet, but every person has their flaws. On the outside, my father was perfect for years. On the inside, he was the most vile man the world would ever see." 

He leaned back into the beanbag further. "I started the group to create justice for people. I got tired of living in a world that idolizes the assholes. All you have to do is dig into people's pasts. Sometimes people are outspoken about things and people continue to idolize them. When the justice system fails, how do you expect everyone to sit back and do nothing?" 

"An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," Kiera mumbled. 

Chan nodded, "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth."