I have this bitter taste in my mouth almost as bad as those cookies I purged last night. I told myself I wasn't going to do that anymore but I'm not really very good at keeping my word to myself. Or to anyone really. Anyway. It's been exactly 12 hours since Eleanor told me she wanted to "take a break." I think I've been handling it pretty well, and by that I mean I'm a total mess. I did everything right, didn't I? I thought so. Guess not. I thought about going home. I don't know yet. She said she doesn't know how long so it could be days or weeks. I refuse to think it'll be any longer than that. I don't think this was a good idea at all. This is how it happens, right? They take a break and then life happens and they start to grow apart and before you know it it's like they never happened. I can't do that. I can't lose her. Not again. I was so stupid all those other times but this time it's not even my fault. At least she says it's not. But I don't believe that really. She told Silas, which means there's a good chance Livi might know, and of course she's going to see it as a chance. I swear to the gods I will murder her if she tries anything.
