Overdosed

Chapter 33

"I don't think I can do this." Jordan looked at his reflection in the mirror.

When he thought about being back home in California, it wasn't to say good bye to JJ. It wasn't to see his casket get lowered into the ground or listen to people give a eulogy on one of his best friends. It wasn't suppose to be this way at all. They were all supposed to get married, have kids and have their children play with each other in the backyard. JJ was robbed of that moment when he decided to be selfish and continue drinking.

Jordan had tried with him. He tried to get him help. He tried to get him to AA meetings. Hell, he tried to get him to focus solely on football. All he cared about was booze and busty women. He had collected NFL fines up the ass and nobody knew that his father died of a heart attack three days before JJ's death.

JJ's head on collision also caused a fatality with the other car. One minute he was discussing babies with Simone and the next, one of his best friends was dead. He had been standing in front of the mirror in the hotel room trying to coach himself. No matter what motivational speech he had, it wasn't making him feel better.

"Baby!"

The panic in his voice made Simone almost drop the mascara wand in the sink. As soon as she rounded the corner, she saw Jordan messing with his tie. He walked backwards to sit on the bed. She could see his face was wet from tears the closer she got to him.

"Please don't make me go." His face buried into her midsection.

"Breathe, okay, just focus on breathing." Simone instructed, rubbing his back.

She moved softly crawling to the head of the bed. It took Jordan no time to follow after. His arms wrapped around her waist. His breathing returning to normal. He felt comforted by the light strokes of her hand in his hair. She always knew how to make him feel better even with just a simple touch.

"Remember when you told me where you saw yourself in ten years?" She asked walking down memory lane.

"Of course. I saw myself playing for the rams and with the love of my life. It partially came true. You are the love of my life." Jordan's answer was muffled.

"Right, but you still made your football dreams come true. JJ would want that for you, darling. He would want you to finish what you said you were going to do even if he couldn't finish his own dream." Simone replied.

"I know but why couldn't he just listen to me? I tried, his coaches tried and nothing got through with him. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

"I know and I am sorry. I know it hurts to lose him but I think you should still go. It hurts now but you would want to be there and say goodbye to him." She kissed the top of his head.

"I know you're right but this fucking sucks." He breathed.

"JJ was about celebrating every moment. He wouldn't want you crying over his death. He would want you to celebrate him." She tried again.

"Did I mention that I hate when you're right?" Jordan fought closing his eyes in that moment.

"Yes, but I'll be right there. You're not going alone. You are never alone my love." Simone promised.

"Okay, alright. Please just give me another five minutes." Jordan pleaded.

"Okay, Five minutes."

After the five minutes were up, it took an extra three to finally get Jordan to move. Simone grabbed a tissue and wiped his face. He looked every bit of what he felt and that was emotionally drained. She took his tie from him, bringing it around her neck to adjust it. She adjusted it and fixed it so it wasn't too tight for him. Smoothing out his jacket, she grabbed his chin pulling him in for a soft kiss.