Kablooie

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79AD

Loki was smiling like a child at christmas, looking out at the volcano that was about to erupt.
"Here we go!" He beamed.
"I feel underdressed. We're all wearing suits and they're all wearing skirts" you point out.
"It's 79AD darling" Loki tells you. "I'm sure you're fine"
"I thought you cared about how you looked" you remind him, making his face drop.

"Mobius, are we underdressed?!" Loki asks him.
"We're not even meant to be here! Now shut up, it's any minute now! God, you're both children."
"Any minute until the whole towns wiped of this planet" Loki smiles. "Can you imagine?! All that volcanic ash!"
"I know!" You smile at Mobius, who had a dreadful look of concern on his face.

"We don't want to get too giddy" Mobius tells you both and Loki sighs.
"Come on. It's cool!" Loki says.
"No, it is cool, but it's just not in good taste because.. you know.."
"They're all gonna die anyway" you make a point with a smile.

"I know. Now listen, I'm gonna watch the TemPad for any variance energy. We have to be very careful. If you're both wrong, and there's a good chance you are, anything we do can create a huge branch-"
"Oh, Mobius! You make the end of the world sound boring!" Loki cuts him off.

"Listen! We're not meant to be here. Ok?! Anything we do can impact the course of history. Do you get that?"
"Yes" you tell him, putting your hands up in surrender.
"So we're gonna start with very small disturbances. Can one of you make bird noises?"

"Bird noises?" Loki questions.
"Yeah, bird noises. Like some whooshing noises" Mobius says before making some cooing noises.
"Mobius that wouldn't start a branch if this wasn't an apocalypse" you deadpan.
Loki groans, grabbing your arm and dragging you into the middle of the town.

"Don't drag me!" You yell in frustration, but he ignores you and opens the goat's cage.
"GO!" He yells with a smile. "BE FREE MY HORNED-FRIENDS, BE FREE!"
You stare at the God, a smile on your face. He was absolutely crazy.

"(In latin) My name is Loki! And this is Y/N! We are agents of the Time Variance Authority. We bring you all dark tidings. All of you! You're all about to die! That volcano is about to erupt! We would know, because we're from the future" Loki smiles, keeping an arm around your shoulders
You look over at Mobius, who had a look of annoyance on his face.

"We are from the future, right?" You ask him, and he shakes his head. "What is the TVA? Seriously, is it from the future? It sounds pretty future-y"
Straight after you finish, the Volcano behind you and Loki erupts and panic instantly emerges onto the civilians.

"Right on cue!" Loki yells, shaking you with excitement before running over to a basket of bread, throwing the bread out towards the civilians.. "Enjoy your last meal while you can! Nothing matters! Nothing has any consequences! Dance while you still can!" As Loki says that, he grabs your hand and twirls you around. "Wooo!"

You smile, laughing as he quickly stops you so you don't get too dizzy. Both of you turn to Mobius.
"How'd we do?" You ask Mobius.
"I don't believe it. Zero variance energy. No branching in the timeline" Mobius gasps.

"The TVA would never even know we were here" you tell him.
"If this were me, this is where I would hide" Loki says, putting him arm around you once again with a smile.

——

"Doomsdays. The Variant's been ambushing our soldiers and hiding out in doomsdays to cover his tracks" Mobius says as you all walk back to his office.
"You're welcome" Loki says smugly.
"Yeah, but for this theory to hold, the disasters have to be naturally-occurring, sudden, no warning, no survivors."
"How many could there be?" You ask Mobius.
"I don't know, we're gonna find out"

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