Diary Of A Teenage Girl

12. nov. 01:57

Its sunday now, I was out with my friends for two days straight, so friday and saturday. And I wasnt annoyed or worried or anxious at the end of it. Yes my head is pounding, my legs are shaking, i can barely stand, im tired as shit, my social battery is GONE and my arm is bruised as shit, but im happy. Im actually happy for once.

On friday, after school, i was going to go watch a movie with a lot of people at K's house. K is N's best friend and K is really cool and i didn't think she liked me but N says she does. Anyway. After school me, Shark (i would say S but thats what i call my sister so, shark), O and N, we went to macdonals, which was really fun. But we found out O wasnt in the big groupchat and i was genuinely suprised and so sorry. But after that we had to basically run to the buss to get to K's house. Taking a buss i didn't know and going a route i didn't know was scary but it was okay cause my friends.

We got off the buss and we had to walk for a bit, me and O and Shark held hands and I felt like i was back in kindergarten when you had to hold hands with someone else. It was fun. We get to K's house and their dog is adorable and fluffy and she had a big comfy couch. J, Shark's childhood best friend (and borderline boyfriend), got there a little after us. O was a bit anxious but she told me she was fine.

We watched a few movies. We watch chicken run, which was wierd and I dont remember the ending, Sinbad, which i dont remember shit from, and spirit, yes the horse movie, no not the one S loves. Spirit was surprisingly good, but it was the original movie so it makes sense.

I dont remember if it was during chicken run or sinbad but shark layed in my lap. I dont think I can remember any time during my life anyone had done that. And i dont think I can express how nice it was. J ended up laying on me too and i got to hold his hand. All the physical touch was great, but if i had gotten just a tiny bit more i would have started bawling.

O left a bit earlier than anyone else, but it was okay. I checked up on her later and she said it was okay but not really her thing, which is not surprising. It was nice hanging with her tho. Another one of N and K's friends joined us, she also has an S name though so I don't know what to call her. She seems pretty cool tho, but calm. Shark bit me a bit, well, more gnawed on my arm. It did hurt a little bit, but I genuinely did not mind, it was weirdly nice. N said that the thought me, shark and J looked like a poly couple as we were cuddling, so I kinda felt lik i was intruding on those two, but the cuddles were still great.

On Saturday we were gonna do DND at 14, but then when I was in the shower at a bit over 12 J sent me a message him and another friend of shark's and J's were coming 1 and a half hours earlier than planned. Had a little panic because of that but it ended up being fine. I got to bake cookies and do most of what I had planned before they got there. N also got there, which was good because I was already panicking a bit not really knowing J THAT well and not knowing Na (not the same as N, shark and J's friend). N got there a little later. Shark couldn't come which was sad, but ill give him cookies on Monday. J will actually be at our school on Monday which will be fun.

We played Dnd for a bit which is still really fun. I got to lay on J which i loved, cause hes comfy as shit for some reason, and then we played on N's vr for a little bit. I tried it on and got to play one of the games that was the least terrifying and didnt really do anything. Im just a scary cat and I couldn't do it. I dont know why, but not knowing what is going to happen is genuinely terrifying to me sometimes.

We also went outside for a bit. We went to a playground where me and nat lost our phones on the swings, we went to my elementry school where i saw 3 boys i went there with, we also went and ate pizza, and played at another playground before Na had to go. So we followed him to the buss and then we played on another playground, where i burned a piece of paper I had in my pocket. I might be a pyromaniac, i probably am, I was staring at the burning paper. But then, atleast i, were quite cold so we went back to my house.

I got to lay on J again, and after he had to leave me and N just talked for a while. Those kind of talks are always good, but sometimes i feel like I overshare or repeat stuff ive said before. When N had to leave i just layed on the couch in the basement for a little bit, that thing is comfy.

Im genuinely suprised that being with so many people for that long didnt tire me out earlier, i think i might have found the group ive been looking for for so long.

Its 02:29 right now, this took like half an hour to write. But it deserves it.

Im happy.