I need to shower. I know I do. My hair is doused in dry-shampoo, my face is bumpy and disgusting. I probably smell. Im disgusting. Im pathetic. Its just a shower.
I used to love the shower. The comforting warm water, the music i could barely hear over the water, the headmassages I would give myself while shampooing my hair. But in the last while, ive hated it. The waters not comforting anymore, it just burns, or all the hot water is gone, leaving the cold water to engulf me as i try not to pass out. I dont play music anymore. The headmessages arnt the same anymore, my arms just hurt. And the worst part about showering, seeing myself. Seeing the fucking disgusting piece of fat. Its me.
Ive been eating less. Im happy about it, i ate so fucking much before, but its not enough. Its never enough. Cause i have to eat everyday, people are around me. Everyone notices. I think thats the worst part. That they see, that they know. They care.
Why?
What have i done to deserve their care and love. I have dine nothing good. I am a no good piece of fat wasting space. I take up too much space. Im disgusting. I am. How can anyone care for me? Do they even actually do? Or is it a show again?
I dont want it to be a show.
Please. Dont let it be a show.
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Diary Of A Teenage Girl
Non-FictionThis is just for fun / a way to document how my life is going without having to worry about anyone finding a diary I dont have a real diary so im Just doing this on here. I dont write in here every day, and chapters are short most of the time. Just...
