Ive been having a panic attack for an hour now, I think. Well, its probably an anxiety attack. But with crying.
Ive been told its scary. When I cry. Because im totally silent, not a word, not a sound. No screaming, no sobbing, no nothing. Only breathing. Not hectic, its nearly nothing, i hold my breath. Its not human, ive been told. Im not human.
Its not that I dont want to scream. I do. I want to scream. At the top of my lungs. I have wished so for a while. I dont want to not be human. Because i am. I am human. Please. See me.
What happened?
Earlier today i was having so much fun. Me and Shark made two characters, we made how they looked, how they met, their whole backstory, their family. I was having the time of my life. Well, I was happy. I was. I went skating with Na. Well, she skated, i freezed my ass off, but I was happy watching her. I was happy earlier.
What happened? It was the science thing wasnt it? That its not done? That started it didnt it? How did it get to this. I didnt want this. I never did. What did i do? Please. Im sorry. Im so sorry. For whatever i did. I didnt mean it. Im sorry. Please. Let me keep the happiness. Please. I was getting better. Why would you take this from me? Please. Im sorry.
This morning i told myself, i was not gonna say i wanted to kill myself today. I say it too much.
Well look where i ended up.
Its bad again.
YOU ARE READING
Diary Of A Teenage Girl
Non-FictionThis is just for fun / a way to document how my life is going without having to worry about anyone finding a diary I dont have a real diary so im Just doing this on here. I dont write in here every day, and chapters are short most of the time. Just...
