Diary Of A Teenage Girl

20.April 2024. 01:09

Haha it 4,20 today lol

I was supposed to hang with H today, yk, the person who was my bestfriend for like 2 years? Yeah no, not anymore.

Like 2 days ago now ig? On the 18th, no actually the 17th, we started fighting. Lemme give you some backstory:

Me and her were hanging out at her house, two weeks ago. She starts asking me if I still smoke (my dads smokes that is), im weirded out and sat i havent in a while (liar lmao), and we move on from the question. A little later, i dont remember how we got on the topic, she gets up and gives me a lil pouch from one of her drawers. Ofc im like wtf, and I open it cause she allows me. In it was a container of weed, an EMPTY snus box, some cigs (I think?) And a lighter. Ofc i question where she got all that from and i think she said it was from that 25 year old man, oh yeah, I dont know if ive mentioned that beforw now. She basically got groomed and knew and was fine with it lol. Anyway, i jokingly (well half joke half real, i wanna try weed some day) say like "haha 4,20 is in 2 weeks, wanna smoke weed then?" And she takes it real serious.

Whatever that was just the backstory, lets get to the actual drama ig.

So for some reason she wanted me to smoke a cig before smoking weed? I was like uhh find ig. She didnt give me a reason for that btw, even when i asked. Anyway, aftee school on Wednesday i sent her a text, before my 30 min long buss ride ill remind ya, about how i would go smoke when i got off the buss and if she wanted me to wait for her.

OH YEAH PAUSE THE STORY, i just remembered that she had gotten mad at me THE DAY BEFORE (aka tuesday) cause apparently i had said we werw gonna go smoke a cig that day and i got too busy buying a new backpack and a lot more shit and she got way mad and pissy cause "I had promised and now she had cancelled her driving lessons for this grrrr 😠😠" lol.

Back to story, (Wednesday), i get off the buss and shes answered being like "no were going tonight, not now" im like "??? When did i say that, i can only do it rn or nothing" then she gets pissy cause she doesn't understand my reason for only being able to do it then (if i did it at night and come home smelling, i would have no excuse. If I do it right after the buss i have the excuse of having sat next to someone that stunk), but she couldn't understand that. So I said shed get a video of me smoking cause thats what she had said she wanted, but no she HAD to be there. I basically said "well get here now or no". Then she said sum like "ugh we'll just do it tomorrow too" and i respond with saying no cause i dont want to smoke 3 times a week (I was counting that smoke right then, and the weed i thought i was gonna try). This is basically the texts.

Her: we'll just smoke tomorrow too

Me: nah

Her: what?

Aka, she had real bad attitude. Not shocked cause its probably the first time ive said no to her, so she wasnt used to me standing up for myself. Anyway this is when she tells me why she wanted to see me smoke. Its cause "oh shes so scared ill react badly and she wont know what to do wah wah wah 😔". Girl. You could have just fucking asked and then I wouldn't have had to smoke. I dont fucking react, what the fuck. Then she start saying "oh its cause you dont smoke correctly" ???? Tf you mean smoke CORRECTLY?? what does that even mean. And blah blah blah.

Thing is, ive never smoked to actually get the nicotine. The only reason ive smoked since those first times is cause some weird withdrawal type symptoms, but thats not from the feeling of nicotine. But no, she cant understand that, and I wasnt even going to try explaining my reason to her cause 1. I dont need to, and 2. Shes too fucking stupid to understand.

Whatever. She says that she HAS to see me smoke a cig before weed cause shes so scared, if I dont do that then no weed. I say Alright, no weed, Im 100% fine with that. THEN SHE STARTS FUCKING GOING ON ABOUT HOW I NEED TO RESPECT HER. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING? FUCK DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO RESPECT YOU THATS ALL I FUCKING DO, YOURE THE ONE NOT RESPECTING ME.

so thats one of the things lmao. Anyway, after all that i sent her a text, with the help of Na, on Thursday about how I didnt wanna hang this weekend. SHE ASKS WHY NOT. ???? GIRL??? MAYBE BECAUSE WE HAD A FIGHT??? shes so fucking stupid.

Theres so much more, like how she hates my cross necklace, she thinks it disrespectful (1. She aint Christian so wtf, 2. If it was a crucifix it would be disrespect, not a simple cross, 3. I sent her proof why it wasnt disrespectful and she still said it was), she basically told me what to wear and not to wear and she was just problamatic and annoying over all. So. Not friends anymore ig.

Uh yeah theres so much more to say but yeah, I just needed to get that off my chest ig?

So, to sum it up, just lost someone i thought was my bestfriend

Oh yeah, she never said sorry while i was pointing out what i thought she did wrong. Like, not at all, not even an "im sorry you think that" or "im sorry you experienced that like that", nope, just how She should be mad, not me

The song Bigger person (i personally like Ibens cover from the voice the best) is basically exactly how i felt with her.

I dont know how to feel tho. Like should i be happy? Should i cry? Should i just act like nothing?

I dont know