Various x Ftm Reader

Handsome ||Ftm!Bucky Barnes||

Cw: mental health themes/depictions of dysphoria, pet name use, mention of medical transition 

It was one of those mornings where you had to get up and get the day started no matter what. As much as you wanted to stay in bed with your partner for 5 more minutes, you knew you weren't able to afford it. You pried yourself from Bucky's grip, which required a great deal of wiggling and trying to convince him to let you go with lists of stuff you needed to get done. He reluctantly let you get up and get dressed.

You took a while to find something that you felt comfortable in—of course taking several minutes to put on and adjust your binder just right.

"You look fine, you know. No one's gonna notice." Bucky grumbled from the bed.

You only hummed in response, still adjusting until you got it just right. You walked over to the side of the bed where he was lying. You bent down, intending to kiss his cheek, just to get pulled down and wrapped in a bear hug.

"You look handsome, doll." He said, kissing the top of your forehead.

"Yeah, yeah. You too." You said, squirming out of his grasp. He eventually let you go, and you left for work.

You came home for your lunch break, expecting to find Bucky already making himself lunch, watching TV, or even working out. It was his day off, after all. But he wasn't in the living room.

"Buck?" You called out. "Babe?"

"In here." His deep voice sounded from your shared bedroom.

You followed the sound of his voice and found him still curled up in bed, his hands tucked under his head. You frowned in concern—you knew he couldn't get sick, so he must be having a mental health day. Despite being glad that he wasn't ill, you still wished he would've told you.

"Not feeling yourself today?" You asked, sitting down next to him on the bed.

He let out a defeated sigh. "No, I'm not."

"Is there anything I can do?"

He shook his head. "Stay with me for a while? Until you need to go back."

"Of course." You pushed the cover aside so you could get in bed next to him. You kissed his forehead, wrapping your arms around him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He started running his fingers through your hair. "It's just difficult to think about. Everything I went through. And I just...I still manage things to not like about myself. Even after I look like this. 

It doesn't feel right...I mean, it does, but it also doesn't, you know?"

"I think I do a little," you admitted. You hadn't gone through as much transition as Bucky had, but he had mentioned feeling like this a few times before. He admitted to you the disconnect he still felt with his body at times. You imagined it wasn't a pleasant feeling—to go through so much, being unable to separate the things you wanted from the things you didn't.

"It's okay. You already do so much." He mumbled, closing his eyes.

You kissed his cheek. "Want me to take the rest of the day off?"

"I'll be alright for a few hours. You're busy. You need to work." He returned the favor by kissing your forehead.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

You wrapped your arms around him tighter, trying to press yourself against him as much as possible. "I love you." You said, hoping he knew the depth behind the words. You knew there were things he didn't tell you about—insecurities he harbored that he would never tell you about but that you would him with or without.

You held yourself against his chest and whispered the words to his heart, hoping he knew that that meant you weren't going anywhere. Sure, in 30 minutes you would have to go back to work, but you would always come right back home to him.

"I love you, too." He murmured, planting a long kiss on the top of your head.