Bikhre moti (Scattered pearls)

25.6 Sun saathiya - part 6

It had been a month since her return from Manali and Shashi and Garima were seeing some changes in Khushi. She had kept silent for the first week, although not crying but lost in deep thoughts. So, they all behaved carefully around her, gauging her mood, trying to understand what was going on in her mind. And then they started noticing a few changes in her. For the outside world those might not be very visible but for her family, the changes were prominent ones. The very significant one being Khushi started talking about Saahas in past tense! Earlier, she would go in denial or become hysterical whenever anyone mentioned saahas's death making Shashi and Garima to never mention him in front of her, but now she herself talked about him, remembering their memories in a normal way, reminiscing her past with him without going berserk over his going away from 2 years ago... and that made Shashi and garima sigh a huge sigh of relief seeing their daughter-in-law finally accepting the reality and taking first step towards moving on in her life.

As Saahas's parents, they were already heartbroken and had faced a loss that can never be repaid but seeing khushi too losing herself, denying herself a chance at life was making them more miserable. And that is why seeing her now come back to normalcy was making them feel as if a huge burden was off their chests.

Contrary to her family's observations, Khushi herself was oblivious to these changes in her. In her world, sure there were new realizations, bitter truths she was learning to accept but they felt right, natural to her. Important truths, sure, but not abnormal. It was as if she had learnt that everyone has different challenges in life, different losses to deal with and losing saahas was hers. This was a part of her life. Earlier she was simply refusing to believe it because she had felt there was still few efforts, few places left to search for him. Now, she had learnt, realized, and accepted the chapter of Saahas and her love story was over.

And with that had come another realization. That in losing Saahas, destiny had given her a friend, a life-coach of sorts in the form of Arnav. She wanted to keep that friendship. But knowing his initial interest in her in romantic way had made her hesitant to reach out to him after their return from Manali.

She looked at his message from over a month ago when he had checked on her to see if she reached home safely from the airport. The message she had left without a reply... was she behaving wrongly with him?

Dil mera iktara dil mera aawara
Dil mera behosh banjara
(My heart is Iktara(a musical instrument), my heart is rogue
my heart is a senseless nomad)

Dhadkano se bhi anjaana Ye piya ban virana
Hai tere pyar ki dhun se begana
(Unaware of its heartbeats, it is desolate
Unaware of tune of your love)

--*--

Arnav's dadi had been worried about him for a few days now. Her otherwise happy, composed grandson seemed sad and dispirited these days. She decided to talk to him and came to his room after dinner. He was sitting on his bed, lost in thought.

Subhadra went and sat beside him. Seeing her, he felt more vulnerable and as he did in childhood, he kept his head in her lap and she started caressing his head.

"Aaj kal bohot kam badh gaya hai kya beta (Are you burdened with too much work these days, Arnav)?" she tentatively asked.

He mumbled a no.

She sighed. And then asked the next question, "Arnav, I was thinking we should start searching for a bride for you now. It's the right age. If you agree, we can look for alliances or if you already have someone in your mind, you can tell us."

And she hit the bull's eye as he answered immediately, "But I am not ready for marriage, Dadi."

So, this was the issue! She decided to tread carefully, "Hmm. Ok. We can wait for a few more months, or maybe a year."