Q/N - The chapter is off-schedule and late, but I needed time to write it. Hope it has come out ok.
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Arnav waited patiently for Khushi to say something, as they sat in Khushi's car. Their daughter, Karishma, was still in Khushi's arms, unaware of who she was with. Arnav closed his eyes in helplessness. After his revelation regarding their daughter Karishma and telling khushi everything she needed to know, he had left it to khushi to decide what to do from here onwards. This was the day he feared the most, when khushi would find out about Karishma and how will she take it, and now that that had happened, he didn't know which way their lives would go. He had lived with this fear of losing Karishma for the past 2 years, dealing with all of it alone and now that he had khushi know it, he didn't know how she will take it.
Khushi had spent the last several minutes playing and replaying every moment since she had landed her eyes on Karishma. What had happened to her life within a few minutes this evening was no short of a twisted miracle. She had found what she had lost over 2 years ago and had no hope of ever seeing again. Her child. Khushi caressed karishma's hair, her back continuously, trying to reassure herself that she wasn't in a dream. Having this third child was not in her plan, sure, but once she had had that journey with the child attached to her for months, she was looking forward to meeting the baby.
Only to be told at the end that she had lost it.
So many days, months, she carried this grief, finding faults in herself that might have resulted in her baby's loss. She should have slowed down in her work, she should have taken more care, and many such regrets had been her companions. And then a lot of what-ifs. What if she hadn't been overworking? What if arnav had been going away from her because of her fault of losing their child? What if it had been a healthy pregnancy like her earlier two?
And then, to today, when all of that was proven wrong. All her miseries were rendered meaningless! No, she didn't wish it happened otherwise, of course not. But she surely wished she had not been kept away from Karishma for so long. For whatever reason. Arnav's behavior may not be selfish but was very unfair. To her and to Karishma.
"I had a right to know." She spoke after several silence-dominated minutes.
Arnav turned to look at her and the accusation in her eyes made him feel more guilty than he already was.
"Yes, you did." He agreed.
Silence was about to envelope them once again when Arnav decided to provide some justification to her that he owed her.
"I should have never hidden our child from you khushi. I shouldn't have lied. But please, just once, think of it from my perspective." he began, "I had you lying unconscious there, alarmingly weak after a difficult labor and then I was told the baby you just gave birth to was born with frail health herself, her life predicted to be a few days if she was lucky. I – those were some of the toughest moments of my life." Arnav said, recounting those memories and khushi let him continue. She needed to know his side before deciding to give him a worthy punishment!
"And while you two were still battling for life, I got a call from your mother, saying Arush was not ready to eat anything until you fed him. Kia too was not ready to go to school. I realized that we had those two to consider as well. I was torn between Arush-kia who were totally dependent on you and this new baby who had very few chances at life. Your doctors had already warned me about your delicate health. And I didn't want to take any more chances of stressing you with a baby who was on the fence with life and death. I chose arush-kiara, I chose you, selfishly. I agree. I am not trying to justify my faults." he said emotionally, "And honestly I was feeling guilty over leading you two there. During this pregnancy, if I had been with you more, if I had taken better care of you, perhaps you two wouldn't have landed where you did. And that was why I have spent as much time taking care of Karishma in the last two years, as I could. Trying to provide for her in every way I could." arnav confessed.
