13 January
Today I got frustrated with all the people around me because nobody cared to call and follow up on their plan, especially my new friend, but then I realized I could just leave and live with myself like I practiced when I had no one at all, so what's stopping me if that person shows up at home later? They will deal with it like anything else. So I left because I have been waiting to watch the sunset on Khadi for a few weeks now, but some or other task kept delaying it. Parlor, plans, work, etc.
Usually, when I hear a romantic or happy song, I tend to look at myself from a guy's perspective, like someone is adoring me or loving me. I wanted to change that narrative, but I couldn't force myself to because I didn't want to ruin my escape by pushing it. But today it finally did change. I was the main character in my story, and I was the only one enjoying my walk to Khadi. When the sunlight caught my eyes, I was blinking a little and felt amazingly playful and cute. Like nature is adoring me, and that felt powerful and empowering. Adoring nature while listening to music, lip-sync songs, and dancing a little, I loved loving myself so much. Then my friend called because she was home now, and I decided to visit "Marshal" (my pet dog who died in 2019). He is buried in Khadi, where people play cricket. I spoke to him, shed some tears, and shared the family updates about a new dog in our family, which I feel is him in another form (a gut feeling of my bhabhi, although).
Later, my friend arrived, and as we walked, I noticed there's a new boating service that has started for 60 rupees and for top roof view 100 for the whole 20 minutes where you get to see the water, mountains, and trains passing by. Obviously, the most important part was the sunset, which was beautiful. I lived it today. It was a spontaneously great day, and it got better. We both were hungry because we had both skipped our lunch; she had her half day at work and me due to the constant pain of something I can't remember anymore. As we were heading home, we saw lights and stalls of water, and she asked me about it. I explained to her that there's some "rath" (gods in a temple on wheels) in the spirit of Ram Mandir opening up. Not sure about the date, though, we came closer to my house and saw more lights, people, and spiritual music. It felt good to know we didn't miss it, so I asked her, "Let's go now, because later we might miss it. So we both rushed through the crowd and waited to see the sculpture of our Lord Ram. Since I was extremely hungry, I prayed to God, "Please, Bhagwan Jaldi Darshan dedo bahut bhul lagi hai dono ko." A mid-age aunty next to me smiled, and I smiled back. Right then, Rath moved ahead, and we started moving in the center in front of our Lord Ram, and I got to see it's the whole set of 3 gods: Ram, Laxman (Ram's brother), and Sita (Ram's wife). I was surprised; I just assumed it would be just Lord Ram. I saw some people passing out their phones in order to get a closer picture, and some passing sweets for Prasad (blessed sweets from God). Even though I wanted to do it, the situation was tough once the rath came immediately close to my house. We got out, and then I told my friend that even though I wanted to offer something to God, I took a small box of milkcake sweet (a sweet desert made of milk, cream, and sugar) and we headed back to our rath, but I chose the wrong path to enter because people don't let you go ahead if you come through the crowd following, and I knew that. I don't know what happened later, but my cute friend grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the crowd in between, got me in the side line near the local shops side, and kept pulling through until we reached, while I was just following her. I felt so many emotions, like it's the first someone doing these things for me except my ex; none of my friends did that recently, like in 6 years; it's usually me protecting people and doing things for them. So that was a very big gesture to me, and I also like the way she is and her values. I wish she was a man sometimes; I would marry her. She loves God, family, friends, being outgoing, driven, kiddish, cute, and kind. FYI, she did call and received my call too. I was just pissed at her because she didn't come at the time she committed. I love her as my best friend; she might leave this city soon. I will cherish every moment possible. We finally had dinner together after that, and we met our other friend too. We have planned something for tomorrow morning; let's see how that goes.
