Finally, I enjoyed working until 9.50 instead of taking it as a burden, and thanks to my friend who keeps on teaching me qualities. I forgot completely; he guides me a lot, and I do follow him eventually. Not just him, but my cousin, sister, and Bhabhi too. I just like the fact that he is kind, caring, humble, cute, and has an amazing personality. I just feel these strong emotions for him these days, especially since my bonds have messed up. I appreciate him more and more each day. I want to hug him like he is this cute little baby and not let him go ever. At the same time, I don't want to suffocate him with my love. So some distance, but I really hope he doesn't find a girlfriend because I don't want to lose this bond. I feel driven with power knowing he is my friend, and I don't think he has any other friends. Even if he does, I feel special knowing we meet every day, get along well, and play games. He feels so unreal at times. I mean, thank God he doesn't simp on me; that would be a blunder for sure. He taught me to focus less on delusions and more on real life. I am finally getting back to my real life, and I like it as well, not just surviving it but more accepting it and slowly learning to understand it. I am finally over my delusional world. I feel it, at least for now, but the problem is completing what I started. It's about to end, but the whole day is left. I might write it peacefully in a month or so, but I'll complete it. Soon I'll start adding things to do more things in my day, not just work, walk, physio/gym, diet, write, sleep, and repeat. Start drawing or painting, maybe, and get some sunlight exposure with meditation. Thank you, God, for this friend and all the other people who take care of me. May they get everything they hope for and be happy always. I visited Bappa today on cabin road, and thanks to my other friend, who is volunteering there at the mandap, I didn't have to stand in the long queue. I would have done a Darshan from afar, but he took me up close. It felt peaceful.
Now that I am journaling at Baithack, I switched from black coffee to normal coffee because I miss my friend Akshita so much. That's her beverage. Me and my best friend used to drink black coffee, and she used to drink normal coffee. She turned me to the less darker side (she turned me to the dark side with a contrast twist).
I want my new schedule to start early.
Which never happens, but it will tomorrow.
I have an early morning physio appointment, so there is no other option.
Go for a morning walk around 7 a.m.
Meditate and get some sunlight.
journal in the morning.
Be home till 8 a.m.
Help mom with cooking or start learning to cook new recipes.
9/9.30 am: start work
Work in the afternoon.
And work till 6.30 p.m.
Then come out, meet my friend, and play games with him.
Later, have some alone time till 9 p.m.
Go home, draw for a while, then leave for the gym.
Back home till 11/11.30
Sleep until 12 p.m.
