Quote: you are my almond
I love you, my almond, and I miss you from the bottom of my heart. I used to get triggered by people around me who kept saying you would be back, and now a little part of me hopes you change and run back to me like the baby you were of mine. I really, really hope you change for the better—not for me but for you. I wanted to live a full life with you where we go out with friends, play games, socialize, go on treks, go to beaches, etc., and live a healthy, routine-oriented lifestyle. Where I get to be with you, I love you, support you, and nurture you, and we achieve all our goals together, from our health to our wealth. It was never you or me; it was always us, and that's how I see it. You shouldn't suffocate anyone in the name of love. Neither should you hurt someone just because you are traumatized by your own feelings or abandonment issues, like I was. I am sorry, but I know there's no chance or scope. I hope you find everything you seek in the world: wealth, stable relationships, and health. You find them all, and you live a great life.
Closures are overrated. I am grateful you gave me mine, no matter how it was. I miss you, Pupsu. I really, really hope you find your peace and purpose in life.
I am learning a lot about myself, and it's all thanks to you for all the things you provided. I am not feeling well these days. I am better emotionally, but not physically. That's the game of life I played. I miss you, baby. I dream impossible these days since few days I see these dreams where you are leaving me in different ways, I mean in more hurtful ways, and I am just requesting you to stop and cry silently looking at you. I wonder what happened this time; as if I gave you another chance and you couldn't change, it ended up ruining my dream.
I think it's my wishful thinking, and the end of those dreams is my nightmare. I miss loving you and, most of all, your attention. Man, you were so attentive that it was suffocating where I needed some space and understood nothing more. Was it too much to see me have fun with family and friends, or let me out of your sight, or get along and understand my life a little more? I miss you, Pupu. I know I'm romanticizing you now because I don't have you, and all this is just a phase. It all stems from the lack of love I received growing up, and you filled that void with everything you could, which included your own insecurities too. You stopped listening to me, like my opinions didn't matter. I mean, it's really great the way you lied through it all, and I trusted your words over your actions. Thanks to you, I'll never trust or love blindly again.
What you taught me will never be forgotten, no matter what kind of person I find. Once you let your guard down and trust people, they ruin it.
I am allergic to almonds, but I still eat them some times; they're a key ingredient in my favorite chocolate roast almond Cadbury, with the mental note of taking allergy pills later on.
Since the past 2 days, I have not been stressed because I stopped overthinking. I got high on Sunday, and people kept calling. That was a little blunder, but after that day, I stopped feeling so anxious and left my job. I am sleeping like a baby. I have a cold and cough now, but other than that, I am mentally better. I am watching this new series called Law & Order. I just need to start being alone again and love my company. I got over everyone I relied on emotionally recently, from my family to friends.
I am back to myself the way I used to be. It might last a few days, but I'll be back with a bang.
My new goals in life:
Never contact my almond.
(Tomorrow I'll complete one month of no texting, reels, or calls.)
This is the only achievement I have currently.
2: Instead, I can eat some roasted almonds to celebrate (because since my stress levels are down, my allergies are not acting up).
3. Keep posting regularly on Instagram and Wattpad.
4. Try following a diet and doing physiotherapy twice a day.
5. Get up early and go for a walk; meditate.
6.cook something
7. Read, research, and be productive.
8. In Evening socialize and walk
