Last time, my therapist told me to end things on a better note. Whenever I am writing, it should have something hopeful or happy.
I found peace in a person, and that person changed.
Like that person changed so badly.
I was living in my denial happily.
That person robbed me of my happiness in every way possible.
My dreamscapes were my thing that made me desire things and survive this sad, shitty world with people who break hearts and destroy confidence.
I miss this person a lot, and I hope to see that person as much as possible without pressuring them to do so. That person gave me the confidence and strength to be myself and live in this real world. I don't know why I had these expectations from people; actually, I don't from everyone, just that one person. Why was the most heavy burden placed on that person? So many left, but I never called and complained or asked them anything at all, nor did I seek it either, whereas this person I feel this need to confront and ask, What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? Out of all the people, how could that person go so easily? I miss you, asshole; you were my solitude in this miserable world. I always looked forward to seeing you every evening; that was the highlight of my day. Everyone had this notion of leaving, and you did the cruelest thing of all. You changed, like, I see you, but you aren't there anymore.
It feels as if when your lover becomes your friend, there's no love left from their end, just some formalities and some care because of this new friendship, which is nothing but a facade.
Anyway, I look forward to seeing you even as this friend; you care enough to show up whenever possible. I just miss you, dumbass.
I wish to God that you do get what you seek in life.
I miss talking to you in chats and sharing all my problems with you. Walks with me, I felt this right on you, like you are mine; you are my fucking friend, and nothing can change that; it never will. Which was definitely something I imagined in my mind. I am grateful for whatever you have taught me so far. I really hope to see that friend of mine again someday, maybe years later, who could just not be uncomfortable around me anymore. We could just be us two walking side by side as friends, sharing our lives. There will be a day. This need for closure is such a stupid thing; I need to learn that this is the closure. This is life, world.
When I sit with people, I think about you so many times, hoping you could be here.
You would be my friend or my person. You made me feel safe and secure.
Anyway, let's end this better.
I miss sharing with you my time, my space, my energy, and my problems. my stupid things with you.
But I'm finding my content knowing many things.
Like how my me-time is the most essential thing, and I need to focus on that again. You made me relearn that. So thank you for all the lessons you have taught me so far. I look forward to knowing more.
I don't want to talk to you, and I wish I could mean this too, because I want to. Hate you for changing us; hate you for betraying us. Right now, I am so lonely and sad. I wish I could tell you all my problems, and you would help me figure them out like you did before.
I have these amazing memories of you, and I can just imagine those now. I'll relive them whenever I'm missing you. Have a great life, my friend 🙈😘. After all this writing , I do feel better. I can't wait to see you progress in life and have the best time of your life so iI'm lucky I'll somehow get to know.
From today onwards
I'll make sure to not give anyone the power you had over me, and that's the best lesson you gave me. Even the best of people can change, not by choice but because of their circumstances. Remember, you can always count on me. I am your friend forever. I am a call or text away.
