Slip-ups are always going to happen. That's what my therapists are always going on about. Sometimes you can go weeks without incident and then one night you're in the bathroom throwing up an entire tray of brownies that you made with your girlfriend and then secretly ate after she went to sleep. The important thing is to remember how it felt during and afterwards (awful, humiliating) and to sit with that but not beat myself up about it because that will only continue the cycle. Somehow this is harder than a lot of other...issues I've had. Because there's got to be a balance. It's not just "don't cut up your skin". I'm reading this book my therapist recommended and as much as I hate homework and I think it's helping. But it's not something I can learn in a few weeks or even a few months. She says in most people with my types of problems it takes at least a year. And while that seems like forever and I wish there was a quick fix to this, I'm willing to figure this out even if it takes ten years, just to avoid feeling like this again.
