Getting Through Life

Chapter 20: Our family

The video got so many positive reactions. I never imagined I could actually inspire people with my story. This is crazy. Anyways, it's Christmas.

Normally, I would spend this day with my mom and dad, and my brothers. Now, I have another mom, a twin sister, a girlfriend and a new family that comes with her. Safe to say, I didn't know who I would be spending the day with.

I just wanted to be with Leah. We're better now, going strong ever since the day Alex surprised me. We talked things out a final time. She called Lisa and they sorted things out so it wouldn't become akward between them. And then she stayed over. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Noah isn't doing so well. He doesn't tell me anything, but I can see it. He isn't happy, and I worry about him. I haven't seen Felix and him since that day he was still in the hospital. I always felt guilty for leaving them behind at home, with our toxic parents, but I didn't have a choice. My dad would always have made me stay in the academy.

Amanda is looking after them, but it's not the same. Our childhood wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either. Well, for them it wasn't. They were fed, had a roof over theirheads. It could have been a lot worse. Me, well, they sure as hell laid some hands on me. Beating me, molesting me. They loved it. I haven't told this to anyone because I don't want them to know. I don't even remember much of it. I also don't mind it, it could always be worse, right?

Ever since that drastic change in our lives, Noah's been showing more and more that he's not okay. I had a feeling, way back in the days, but now it's almost obvious. He tries to hide it, but I think we can all see it. And then there was his attempt, that was the first sign he didn't try to hide.

I wonder how Felix is dealing with this. He is only thirteen years old. I don't even know how I'm dealing with this, I'm just going on with life. I'm so thankful of Leah and her family. Amanda, David, and especially Jacob have been there for my brothers, every time. And Leah has been there for me.

We were coming up on our four months anniversary. And that day fell right onto my birthday. I am trying to keep my birthday a secret. G and Steph had asked about it at least once every year. They always wanted to celebrate the damn day. I don't know what is so special about being born anyways, so I never told them. And I am trying to keep it that way.

Alex already told me that it was fine if I wanted to spend Christmas with Leah and our family, but I told her she is a part of that now too. So I asked Leah if we could spend the day with all of us and she said she'd want nothing more.  Her parents and brother, my brothers, and Alex and Lisa. And Tobin, of course. I messaged Lisa with a beautiful photo of Al- mom -still getting used to that- and we've messaged back and forth ever since.

So here we are, both standing in my room getting dressed for today. To say I was nervous was the least. I was meeting my twin sister properly for the first time, and her, Al- mom, damn it, and Tobin were meeting Leah's family for the first time. And Leah was meeting her new mothers-in-law. And sister-in-law. This is becoming way too complicated.

I chose to wear something casual, not sweatpants, but I didn't want some fancy ass thing either. Leah on the other hand went all out. She said she wanted to make a good first impression. I've told her countless times she'd be way overdressed, but I know better then to argue with her when her mind is already set on something. So she wore a black, shiny, fancy dress with gigantic heels. If I ever had to wear those heels, or that dress, make that any dress for that matter, I'd kill myself. And we all know I would, anyways...

We all decided we would meet up at Amanda's house. It was the logical option as the majority was already there anyways. So, Leah and I got into her car because I still don't have one, and I drove us to her childhood home. We both knew I was the better driver, so she let me drive, even though it was her Mercedes.