Getting Through Life

Chapter 4: Being penguins

"I heard from Leah that you wanted to talk to me about your brothers", she started while we walked to the living room.

"Yeah, I did", I said while we sat down.

"Hi boys, are you two alright?", Amanda said, greeting the two of them with that familiar warm smile of hers.

"We're good for now, Lou-lou is home", Felix said, while Noah just nodded at his brother's words. I smiled at them. They can be annoying as hell, but they are my brothers and I love them very much. This shows that they think the same about me.

"Amanda, I'll get right to the point. We need a guardian for Noah and Felix. I'll search for my own back in Manchester, no worries. Is there any way you can help us find someone? And my true question... can they stay with you while we search? If not we can look elswhe-", I cut to the chase, but she cut me off.

"I'd love to look after you two. And I will help you aswell, Louise, don't you worry about that", Amanda reassured us and we all sighed a breath of relief.

"You have no idea how much that means to us", Noah said. He got up and hugged Amanda like she was his own mother. Felix joined in aswell, and now Amanda was looking at me, tempting me to join in aswell. I laughed and shook my head, but I got up too. The four of us stood in the living room and hugged each other like damn fools.

"I have the feeling that we are penguins", Felix said. Again, Noah cracked up at his brothers words, and Amanda also got a laugh out.

"Feels, you are THE man, you hear me?", Noah squeaked. I've said it, and I'll say it again. Those boys...

"Alright, so how do we do this?", I asked. This was part one of the whole parcours.

We sat in the living room for an hour more, looking at websites and Facebook groups. Mainly to just gather information about everything. Until the moment Amanda said this.

"What if I just become your guardian? To all of you?"

I was surprised, to say the least. Even though it won't work for me, it would resolve the problem for my brothers.

"You'd do that for them?", I asked her, slightly caught of guard.

"I'd do it for YOU, all of you Louise. That includes you to, you know", she responded, laughing but also frowning. Is she thinking I don't want her to be my guardian?

"I'd love for you to be my guardian aswell, but I have to go back to Manchester, Amanda..."

"So what? Boys, what do you say? You'll accept me being your guardian? I promise to not try and replace your mom, I just want to look out for you. Nothing more, no strings attached", she asked, now facing Felix and Noah.

"I'd love it Amanda", Noah said and Felix already hugged her again. I smiled with tears in my eyes. I found someone. I don't need to find a solution anymore, that weight is off my shoulders.

"Louise, even though you won't be here at your childhood home, or in my home, you can still be part of this new little family. I don't care you have to go back to Manchester, why would you look for a guardian there if you already have one right here?", Amanda pointed at herself, now facing me again. I realised that when my parents were alive, I wasn't living at home either. Stupid me...

"If you'll have me, I'd love to aswell", I said, a tear rolling down my face now.

"Come here", Amanda said and we were back to being penguins.

"I can't believe we all have the same guardian... I for sure thought we would be split from now on", Felix said. I understood where that was coming from, because I thought the exact same thing. It can be scary to think you have to start all over again, but now without parents. I don't think I could do it, knowing my brothers wouldn't have each other to rely on.