Getting Through Life

Chapter 7: Something more

The team left not too long ago. G went with them, she said 'to give me some space'. I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Do I contact her? Am I even allowed to? Wait, that's a stupid question. Of course I'm allowed to contact anyone I want. But I'm scared.

My thinking went on a couple of hours, but I didn't come to any conclusions. The one thing I did know already, was that I needed to tell my brothers and Amanda this. And of course a certain captain. I didn't need to tell her, but she was the one person I wanted to tell.

So, I called her. I figured she was also done with trainig just like us. And I could really use her voice right now. I picked up my phone and dialed her number. She picked up not even after the first ring.

"I was just going to call you", she giggled down the line.

"How are you?", I asked, and smiled even though she couldn't see me.

"I missed you. It's been too long already", she sighed. We've really gotten very close during the two days she went to our house. Yes, two days. The first day was a day off for her, but she requested the second day herself for a 'personal matter'. She did that all for me.

"I missed you too. I can see you soon though. We have recovery tomorrow and then a day off. That is if you want to see me of course...", I teased her. I know what she will answer, but it is always nice to hear someone actually say it out loud. 

"I would love to. When can you come?", she immediatly answered without thinking. I smiled, I'm really starting to like her, I think. Of course I would never admit that to Noah or Felix, they would not stop annoying me that 'they were right all along'.

"Like I said, we have training tomorrow morning, but after that I could already travel to yours. I can't say for sure, but I'll arrive around 3 PM. I'll wait somewhere if you're not ready by then", I explained.

"No, I should be ready around then. I can't wait", she told me softly. Every time she says something sweet like that, I get a weird feeling in my stomach. I can't quite place what it is, but it's something strange.

"Same here... Hey Leah?", I slowly changed the subject.

"Yeah?", she breathed.

"Can I talk to you about something else or do you have to go?", I asked. I wanted to make sure I don't get her in trouble for something that isn't important.

"You can talk to me about anything, I'll always have time for you", she reassured me sweetly.

"I discovered something today. Alex Morgan is my biological mother. I don't like to say 'real mother', because that was my mom to me. Alex gave me up apparently. The whole squad here knew. That's why nobody talked to me", I blurted out. Yes, I also vented to Leah about the team in the very short time we had together. She was also surprised Lucy, and especially Keira participated to that.

"Oh my God, are you okay?", she asked. That was the question of the hour. Was I okay? Am I?

"I don't really know to be honest. But I just wanted to tell you. I don't even know why, I just wanted to", I began to ramble.

"Hey I get that, you do know we've called almost ever day since our first call, right? How many things have I told you until now?", she laughed it off, just to stop my rambling.

"I know, well, there you have it. I don't want to be here because the whole team ignored me. But I also don't know where else to go, because they were forced to do so. I don't know what to do basically. I just want to go somewhere so they don't think I'm running from them", I thought out loud.

"You could come and live here for a while. With me...", she suggested. Should I do that?

"I don't want to be a burden...", I lied. That wasn't the whole reason as for why I didn't really wanted to do that. I want to get closer to her, and I don't want her to annoy herself with how I live.

"You know you could never be a burden to me. What's really up? You never have to, I was just suggesting...", she sounded dissapointed but understanding.

"Look, it has nothing to do with you, I just thought we could be... something more. And that won't work if we start living together already, even if it is for a little while", I tried to keep everything vague.

"Something more? What do you mean by that? Do you want to be more then friends?", Leah asked nervously.

"I mean...", I tried to get myself out of this situation. I didn't know what to say or do because we were on a phone call.

"I want us to be more then friends...", she said confidently which caused me to stop thinking immediately.

"Me too... So where does this leave us now?", I asked more nervous then ever before, but also happy.

"Come over", she didn't even hesitate to say that.

"I have training tomorrow", I said against my will while I shut my eyes closed.

"After then, and stay for a bit. Gareth won't mind, you're grieving", she practically stated. Leah has a strong will, so I better not go against her.

"Fine, I'll ask for a couple days off again. I just hope he won't mind. I mean, I've delivered a lot already to the team. And Khiara is a good goalkeeper too. I'm just not so certain he will allow it because Ellie and Sandy are both still out", I stated the facts, more for myself then for her.

"He basically has to, Louise, you've lost your parents", Leah said but I had to laugh.

"Well, I've still got my mother apparently"

My coping mechanism is dark humor, but it's not for everybody. And so it seemed it wasn't for Leah.

"Louise, just ask him. If he's not on board, I'll take just the one day then. All you can do is give it a shot. He will comply, trust me", she bargained with me.

"Right. Thanks Le, you've really helped me so much already. Just talking to you makes me feel better. I'll still come after training tomorrow. We'll see how long I can stay then. I'll text you, okay? Byebye", I closed it off.

"All right Lou, see you tommorow. Sleep tight, bye", Leah said and then hung up.

Time to send Gareth a message.

To: Gareth Taylor

Me: Hey Gareth, I'm sending you this message to ask you for a couple of days off. I just need some time to clear my head, with what happened to my parents and then gaining this new information... I just want to be around some trusted people right now. Is it okay if I come to training tomorrow, and then take five or six days off? I'll be back after the match against Arsenal at the end of this week. Greetings, McKay

I waited for a couple of minutes, and in a record time for him, Gareth answered me.

From: Gareth Taylor

Gareth: Louise. Firstly, how many times I have to tell you to just sign with your first name? McKay as an ending sounds too formal ;-). And secondly, of course you can take the week off. If you want, you don't have to come tomorrow either. Let me know when you want to return, yeah? I hope you'll be okay. Don't hesitate to contact any of the trainers or me. Or anyone from the team for that matter. You'll get through this. Good luck, and spend the next few days in peace and quiet! Make sure you're well rested so you can start back where you belong. Gareth

When I read that he wouldn't blame me if I skipped training tomorrow, I didn't even feel like going anymore. I could go early in the morning tomorrow and surprise Leah. 

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You didn't really believe when I said I would leave it at that, now would you?

A double update for you guys, as a thank you because you keep reading this.