Getting Through Life

Chapter 33: Fuck you

I often wonder why drama keeps following me. Is it something about me? Did I ask for any of this? Well, no. Is this my karma? But I don't think I deserve that much if it is.

I was just off the pitch, in the tunnel. This walk was worse than walking away after everyone saw you trip over a rock. I felt everyone staring at me, and I didn't hear anyone following me. I can imagine the setting, everyone on the field staring along with the whole crowd. I felt the letters of my name burning on my back. I was ashamed I still wore the name 'McKay'. It was my dad's name and my mom took it when they got married. So I still walked around with the name of the people who ruined my life. My name should be Louise Morgan, like Lisa Morgan and Alex Morgan.

I was told that 'mom' was put in a separate room, besides the away locker room. I didn't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Why do I always have to deal with shit like this? Can't everybody in my life just behave normal? I can, so that proves it really isn't that hard.

I was standing in front of the room she was in. I didn't hear anything through the doors, so I looked at the stewards behind me for confirmation. They nodded. Great, just terrific.

I guess it's time to go say hi.

I opened the damn door. The sight I saw next didn't even surprise me anymore. There she was, sitting on the floor against a wall, sipping on her bottle of vodka. How did she even get that in the stadium?

"Well, here I am. Are you going to beat me up too?", I announced my presence.

"You little shit. Disgusting child", she mumbled in between sips. So, that's how we're playing this, alright. Bring it on Martha.

"So, I'm fine. Ever since you and dad died, we got on with our lives. I don't know the latest about your son Felix, but Noah's good I think. Keeping dad company and all, I thought he was with you as well, but I guess I have to learn to trust you with absolutely nothing. Are they even your sons?", I started to become agitated already. We weren't even speaking a whole minute. Well, I wasn't.

"YES! And I'm proud they are. You however, I'm so relieved you aren't. Even if you once were, you wouldn't be now", she spat back.

"Well, congratulations Martha. One of your sons is dead, the other is left alone because you and dad died. Well, dad did. I don't know how you spawned back here", I was intrigued. I wanted her to explain herself, but then I didn't. 

"How was I expected to care for three children after Robert died? So I just faked my death. Felix will understand", she whined. She didn't even show the tiniest bit of remorse, she just played the victim. I felt bad for Felix. She stopped being my mom a long time ago, but she always acted like any mother should when it concerned him.

"How can you say that?", I asked dumbfounded.

"How did you even know?", she spoke about me not being hers.

I sighed. I wasn't getting anywhere with her, that just showed she didn't have any 'real' reason to just leave us behind. I just dropped it.

"My team knew and eventually told me", I gave her the short version.

"That damn Lloyd. Can't trust her with anything", she again was talking to herself. 

"Why don't you go and blame yourself instead of all the others that tried to clean up your mess?", I scolded her.

"You little shit! Shut up and don't talk back to me! I should've just left you with that Alex. But no, Robert wanted to give it a try to raise you. I don't even know why I went along with that, look at you. Just one messed up creature", she mumbled while she went back to her vodka. Ouch.