Intoxicated Nights

No Mercy - Chapter 32

DAPHNE

After everything that happened, anjel hasn't spoken a word to me. It's been 2 days since Clarissa confessed to lying, and these 2 days have been absolute hell.

Anjel refuses to talk to me or even look at me. I feel like I'm the one with Clarissa's guilt weighing on my shoulders.

I know that this is such a difficult time for anjel, but everytime I try to be there for him, he just pushes me away. I feel helpless and guilty at the same time.

Maybe if I didn't tell him that Clarissa was lying it wouldn't have been like this, but I never expected him to believe me. He loves Clarissa so much to the point where he believed her over his own brother, how could I have known he would take my words to consideration?

The house has been quiet ever since he lashed out on me that day in his office. I didn't take it into heart, thinking it was out of rage. However, now, it's becoming hurtful.

Anjel hasn't left his office in days. When I try to bring him his food, he doesn't touch it. He talks to pelican here and there, but not me.
When I let myself into his office yesterday to check up on him, he told me to leave the minute I stepped into the room. So I did. I left and haven't tried to get in touch with him since then.

When will this silent treatment end?

........

'Miss?' Before I could put the omlette in my mouth, pelican speaks up from behind me.
I put my fork down and look over at him with hopeful eyes, hoping that he's here to tell me anjel wants to speak to me.

Pelican stares back at me with pity. He lets out a deep shrug before his stare turns back to the emotionless expression he always has.

'Boss has ordered me to take you back home'
Pelicans words fall onto me like a sack of bricks.
'What-'
I don't know if my hearing is off but I think I just heard pelican say...anjel wants me gone.
My eyes feel heavy and so does my heart. God, this hurts.

'Please be ready in an hour' pelican says and leaves the kitchen without any other explanation.

Shock rushes over me like a heavy wave. My throat feels dry and the pit in my stomach is starting to cause me intense nausea.

My fists ball up, my knuckles turning white as my nails dig into my palm. I feel the sizzling of my nails sinking into my skin.

Right, that's fucking it. I am not letting him treat me like this, not any more!

I pace my way to anjel's office, which when I slam open the oak doors, I am face to face with a cold empty room.

Did he finally leave the room?

Of course he did. He was probably waiting for me to go so that he could leave this room. He probably thinks I'm so clingy that he had to get rid of me in order to move around the house the way he wants.

I don't close the door to the office when I pace my way to anjel's bedroom. I have no time to be polite and shut the doors. I am simmering with rage.
'Anjel!?' I shout his name. As I speed walk down the hallway. 'Anjel!?' I open his bedroom door. The door swinging bang onto the wall.
Anjel is in his bedroom. From the way his back is turned to me, it seems like he was expecting my presence.

'You want me gone?' I ask my question straight up. I will not beat around the bush any longer.

Anjel doesn't reply. He's quiet like he has been for the past 2 days. I'm getting more infuriated by minute.
'Anjel! Talk to me!' I pace towards him and grab his arm, twisting his arm to make him face me.
Anjel looks at me. His eyes drooped down, dark and tired. His whole face looking grey. He looks oddly unhealthy. I feel a pit of sorrow in my heart towards him. I want to hug him tight and never let go, but at the same time, I'm angry. I want to scream and shout at him. I want to scream all the questions he wouldn't answer.

Why? Why are you not talking to me? Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me or something?

All these questions yet he won't even talk to me.

I feel helpless. I cant figure out what to do when I don't even know what I did.

Anjel's head slowly turns around. His eyes don't look at me at first, but when he's fully standing in-front of me with nothing else stopping him from looking at me, his gaze finally meets mine.

'Leave' a raspy whisper comes from his lips.
I feel my whole body burst in cold flames. I feel shock as much as anger. After days of not talking to me, this is the first thing he says. I want to scream at him all my thoughts but I'm stopped by my conclusions.

'No.' I won't let him tell me to leave this easily. I know the reason for why he's like this and I want to be the one to help him through it.

'I won't let you make me leave this easily' I look into his eyes, my heart thumping on my chest as I move closer to him. My hands raise to go to his face, I gently place the palm of my hands on his jaw as I hold my gaze on him.
I don't know what I'm searching for in his eyes but I want at least a little softness. Something that will make him open up to me.

'Don't bullshit me. You was so eager to leave before, you can easily leave now' His harsh words chip a small part of me bit by bit, but I'm not giving up yet.

'I wanted to leave because I didn't want to be the second option. I couldn't let you keep using me'

It's true. I've been facing with this reality since I've came here. In my mind, I always knew that I will never be more in his life other than a side piece....Most of all, I wanted to leave because of Clarissa, but I don't think it's the right time to mention her name.

'You are the second option and you always will be. Now leave'

All the hopes I had of softening him up has come crashing down on me. This is worse than anything he's said to me before. If my heart was stinging before, well it's aching now. I don't know why it's a shock to me when I should've expected it all along.

Isn't that what I was all along anyway?
A getaway for when he's stressed. A way he could take his anger out by fucking me.

I'm defeated.

If he wants me gone, then I'll leave. There is no point in fighting for someone as selfish as him.

Disgust feels my stomach, nausea rises from my throat.
If I stay in this room one second more, I'll spew all the shame I'm feeling all over him.

Without a word I leave the room and close the door behind me before rushing towards my bedroom and into the bathroom. Do I even need to explain what happened?

.....

My bags are packed and ready for my journey back to Staten Island. I look around this haunting room one last time before leaving for good. I don't know if I'll ever see anjel again, but even if he tries to reach out to me, he better have a good reason to reconceal.

I'm foolish enough to still think about forgiving him, maybe because I know he's going through a rough patch right now, but also because a little part of me still doesn't want to let him go...not yet at least.

I hear a knock on the door. Even though I'm hoping it's anjel, coming in to tell me not to leave, I am wronged when I see its pelican coming in to ask me if I'm ready to leave.

I guess this is it. My time here is over and so is my time with anjel. I grab my bags and head downstairs. Pelican takes my bags to take to the car which leaves me to be alone again in this house for a little while longer.
I guess it's simple for someone to cut a person off when they don't want nothing to do with them anymore.

After our night at the hotel.

I just never thought it'd be this easy for him to let me go...