Pregnant at 14

Ch 18

Their gaze burned holes into my skin, tens of people awaiting  my reaction

A million feeling arose anger, humiliation, sadness then as soon as it came it was gone. My body became numb to all feelings, my mouth still hung open

The embarrassment was hot on my face

I took a second to process everything then I went flying out the door, leaving the stares and the whispers behind

This can't be real, no no this can't be happening, this can't happen to me, this must be a dream, a nightmare, a very bad very real nightmare, all of it

I will wake up one day, not pregnant, not hurt or embarrassed

Someone came running after me

I kept running

A branch scratched my arm

I kept running

A heel flew off

I kept running

I ran until the footsteps behind me became nothing but a mere memory

My body collided with the ground after my bare foot caught on a vine

Moist dirt latched itself to my face as I curled into a fetal position on the dirt

How could he do this to me?

How could I be so stupid to trust him?

Tears brimmed my eyes as I stared into the darkness

How could I be so freaking stupid?

A chocked sob escaped my lips

Whore

A filthy stupid self-centered whore, who lost her virginity at fourteen to a boy that doesn't even like her, a boy who used her like a fucking tool

Am I ugly? Is that why?

Maybe if I looked like Sierra then this wouldn't have happened

I wish I looked like Sierra

I wish my waist was smaller, my hips bigger, my face prettier, my hair lighter, my eyes brighter, my smile realer   

A wave of tears escaped my eyes and fell to the ground one after the other. Regret and embarrassment settled deep in my stomach. How could something so private became so public in a matter of seconds

I yanked at my hair and sat up taking the remaining stiletto off my foot and throwing it with all my forced then laid flat down on my back, my hands resting on my stomach 

Uncontrollable sobs leaving my lips

I'm sorry babies

The decision has been made, now it's only a matter of time 

No matter how pretty I dress I can't ever be enough, I will never be enough

mom hates me

dad hates me

Hannah hates me

Sierra hates me

Cassandra hates me

Christina hates me

Aiden hates me

Gabriel hates me

Society hates me

I hate me

I squeezed my eyes shut hoping they stay that way forever

Warms hands scooped under my shivering body. My eyes stayed shut afraid of what lies beyond them, I'd rather stay in the dark. Darkness means oblivion and oblivion means peace

I chose peace

They can kill me if they want to

Halfway through the walk my tears finally seemed to run out leaving me in a hiccuping mess

Finally after my back softly hit against a couch I opened my eyes

A tremble of shock ran up my spine as my eyes racked over the person in front of me

"Why are you here?" I asked hoarsely

His familiar eyes crinkled as a smirk formed on his lips