The Jasmine Scented White Moonlight

chapter 51 - Instinct

　　Ning Wan did not leave the child with Shen Shuyun all the time. When Little Taro fell asleep, he took the child away.

　　"You eat well, and I will carry him here every day." Ning Wan squatted beside Shen Shuyun's bed, frowning at Shen Shuyun's shapeless face, "It's almost one month old, and it's time to apply for household registration. The child will follow your surname Shen. Well, what do you want to name him?"

　　Shen Shuyun turned over impatiently, rolled himself up into a pupa with the quilt, and said in a dry voice: "You can do whatever you want."

　　Ning Wan's eyes fell on the glands with half-moon teeth marks on the back of Shen Shuyun's neck. After a long while, he said: "Let's just cross it. The ferry from San Dian Shui, Shen Du, is that okay with you?"

　　Ferry, ferry crossing.

　　Shen Shuyun is the only boat in the world that can cross him.*

　　"Um."

　　Shen Shuyun responded without saying whether it was good or bad. Ning Wan pondered his response, and in the end he didn't know whether Shen Shuyun agreed or was perfunctory.

　　Maybe it was because of the little taro, Shen Shuyun's attitude was no longer so cold, and his desire to die was much less intense, but he would just be in a daze for a long time. While he was eating, Ning Wan squatted aside and watched him eat quietly, then carefully put away the bowls and chopsticks.

　　The second day after Shen Shuyun ate, Ning Wan also took a step back and opened the thick curtains with his own hands. The early morning sunlight shines on Shen Shuyun's pale skin through the two huge floor-to-ceiling windows, as if a thin layer of gold powder has been applied to his cheeks, and most of the gloomy lifelessness on his body has gone away.

　　That morning, Shen Shuyun squinted his eyes and looked outside. The corners of his lips finally stopped being tightly pursed and curved in a rare way, revealing a very faint smile. Ning Wan looked on and almost jumped with excitement.

　　Ning Wan found a lot of books for Shen Shuyun to use to pass the time. They had lived together for three years, so Ning Wan naturally knew what kind of books Shen Shuyun liked. He brought many collections of prose poems and science fiction novels and put them on the bedside table. Shen Shuyun didn't say anything, which was regarded as acquiescence.

　　Shen Shuyun's tenderness died in Ning Wan's clutching hands, and the last bit of him was given to Shen Du. Since then, it is hard to find Shen Shuyun who was as gentle as jade and as clear as water in the human world.

　　Ning Wan would leave the house temporarily when he had something to do during the day, but usually it would not exceed three hours. Whenever he was here, he would stay with Shen Shuyun in the room. Shen Shuyun ignored him and just flipped through the book. If Ning Wan came with Little Taro, he would put down the book and play with Little Taro for a while. Ning Wan seemed to look away, not caring about Shen Shuyun's indifference, and no longer asking Shen Shuyun to give him a look.

　　It doesn't matter, Ning Wan thought, if Brother Yun doesn't want to look at him anymore, it's enough for him to look at him like this.

　　As long as I can still be in front of my eyes and watch.

　　The two people reached a strange consensus in this silence, and neither of them would speak easily again.

　　Otherwise, there will be another big fight, and the situation will be too ugly.

　　Ning Wan would go to this room to sleep every night. No matter how late it was, he would fall asleep holding Shen Shuyun unshakably. Ning Wan followed the rules. He just hugged Shen Shuyun from behind, and at most buried his head on Shen Shuyun's shoulder. Other than that, he did nothing. If there was a physical problem, he would go to the bathroom and solve it with cold water.