In The Crowd - Billie Eilish

Chapter Eighteen - Y/n

"I'm gonna miss you," Billie says while hugging me. I've decided to go home for a few weeks and make sure Michael doesn't get in trouble and so my mom doesn't lose her shit anymore than she already has. "Do you have any idea when you're gonna be back?"

"No, not right now. I think I'm gonna stay for a couple of weeks. A month, maybe before I start thinking about when I'll be back," I tell her, and she nods. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just got so used to you being here. I don't know what I'm gonna do until you're back or until I start touring and everything again."

"I get it, but you're always free to text and call me, obviously," she laughs. "I better get going. I don't wanna miss my flight." I say. She hugs me and gives me a quick kiss. I wish I didn't have to leave.

-

"Where the hell have you been?" My mother asks the moment I walk through the front door. I sigh. Here we go. "And don't even think about saying Michael's. I know you weren't there."

"Places," I said and started making my way to my room.

"You mean, LA? With a complete stranger?!" She yells. I look at my stepdad.

"Really? You told her?" I asked him.

"Somebody was going to have to, and I knew you wouldn't, so I did. It would've been better for all of us," he says. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, my God. Mom," I say calmly and look at her. "I'm eighteen. I can go out whenever I want and with whoever I want. I'm an adult. You don't have to know every detail of my life anymore. If you'd like to know where I'm going, that's fine. I'll tell you but I don't because I know you're gonna try to stop me." I tell her.

"I just want what's best for you, and what's best for you is being here," she says.

"Don't get me wrong, mom. I like being home but I can't always be here. Besides, who knows? I might be moving out soon," I say and start walking to my room again.

"You're what?" She yells.

"Here we go," I hear my stepdad mumble. She follows me all the way to my room.

"When did this get decided?" She asks as I start unpacking all my stuff. I love my mom. She's amazing, but oh, my God. She is too much sometimes.

"It hasn't been decided. But when I was in LA a month ago, I made a friend. That's who I've been staying with for the last three weeks when I went back." I explain.

"Friend?" I nod. "Girl or guy?"

"Girl,"

"What's her name?" I sigh.

"Billie," I tell her.

"How old is she? Does she have a job? What kind of friend is she?" She asks because she knows I like girls and guys.

"22. Yes. And just a friend," I lie. I don't need to go through this right now. She supports me, but there's already enough happening. I don't need something else talked about in this house. She sighs and sits on my bed.

"You know I love you, right?" She asks. What's happening?

"Yeah, of course," I say. She looks at me.

"I don't mean to be so overbearing. It's just hard sometimes. I lost your father, then your sister. Now you're eighteen, and I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you, too."

"Mom, I'm not going anywhere. It's just that I'm getting older, and I have things I want to do, and I can't have you on my ass about all of it," I tell her, and she nods.

"I know. I just don't know how to feel about you being eighteen. You're my oldest kid. And I already lost one. I don't wanna lose another,"

"Mom, you're not gonna lose me the same way you lost Riley. Yes, I know you're scared because I'm eighteen, but it's different." I explain.

"It just makes me realize how old I really am," she mumbles. I laugh.

"You're not that old, mom. Besides, I think you have better things to worry about than me turning eighteen," I tell her.

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?" She asks.

You're two thirteen year olds and how they're constantly getting into some sort of trouble."

"I don't even know what to do about them. They get into so much trouble together and won't rat the other out. It's horrible," she says and stands up. "I'll leave you be."

"Hey, mom," I say, and she turns to look at me. "Would it be okay if I went back to LA?"

"What?"

"No, no. Not now. Maybe not for another month or two. You know, stay here for a little bit and then go back." She smiles.

"That friend in LA isn't just a friend, is she?" She asks. I just shrug with a smile on my face.

"I don't care. Just let me know when you're leaving. I hate being left in the dark," I nod, and she leaves. See, she's not that bad. Just gotta talk to her.

I finish unpacking and grab my phone. I have a few texts from Michael, a couple from Gia, and one from Billie. I smile and go to text Billie back.

Billie

Billie: How is being back in Seattle?

Me: I've only been back a couple of hours, and I'm already planning on when I'm gonna be going back to LA

Billie: Can you call?

Me: Yeah, I can

Just moments later, I'm getting an incoming FaceTime from Billie. I answer it, obviously.

"Hey," I say.

"Hi," she replies.

"What have you been up to?"

"Nothing much. Drew and Claudia came over earlier when you were still on your flight. They just left like five minutes ago," she says. "How about you?"

"Oh, you know. Was kind of getting yelled at by my mom," a concerned look came over her face. "It was nothing bad, I promise. We sorted everything out. She's not mad, and she said I can go back to LA whenever I want."

"Am I still considered a stranger?"

"Not necessarily. She knows that I have a friend in LA. But she suspects that it might not be just a friend." I tell her.

"Would it be bad if she knew that you're dating a girl?"

"No, not at all. She's known I've liked girls since I told her when I was fourteen." I say.

"Okay, good. I don't want anything bad happening to you," she says. I laugh.

"It's all good over here," I say. It goes quiet. "So when do you start touring and going to interviews again?" I ask.

"I'm not so sure. I know we got a couple of months' break, and I'm pretty sure we have like a month left. So, like early June," she says, and I nod. "Why?"

"Because maybe that'll be when I decide to go back to LA so I can join you through all of this," I say, and she smiles.

"Are you sure you really want to join me? You don't have to if you don't want to," she reminds me, and I nod.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. I want to be with you even if there's chaos and news articles and rumors and whatnot. I'm still trying to process how I've ended up dating my biggest celebrity crush of all time." She laughs.

"That's cute," she says. "When I figure out exactly when the tour starts again, I'll tell you, and we can figure everything out from then." I nod.

"Sounds good to me,"

We spend the rest of the night talking on the phone. I had to yell at my siblings a few times to leave me alone, but other than that, it was great. Even if there were times we just sat in silence doing whatever, it was fun.