Turning life around

Fighting

- What the fuck, Jake?

He turns to me, a little surprised.

"What?", he asks. His voice, his face, his expressions are so neutral that he either hasn't seen the look on my face, or he really doesn't care about it.

The others, however, notice how deeply pissed I am, and immediately fasten their pace to the car to get in quickly.

 Jake and I are left alone a few feet in front the shop.

I take a firm step towards him.

"Okay that's it. You quit that attitude thing you've got going with me or you tell me what the hell is really going on."

- I don't know what you're saying.

- You're an engineer. Fucking figure it out.

My tone was sharp, sharpening the tension between us even more. His eyes look back at mine when I answer that, he looks a bit taken aback by it. Oh so now you notice how pissed I am.

"I'm not stupid, Jake. Something is bothering you and it's making you go all weird with me. Might look normal attitude for others, but we both know that's not the case. You can't stand me and it kills me not knowing why!"

- What? Who said I can't stand you?! Beatrice where'd you get this idea!

Beatrice. He said Beatrice. 

Somehow, not hearing "Tris" or "Prior", made me feel disappointed. I was so used to it, to its uniqueness. He uses these nicknames almost unconsciously. What changed?!!!

A pang of hurt shoots down my chest, and I try to hide it. Extremely easy, as I'm still very mad at him.

"Jake, it's written all over your face! And actions! The guy did nothing wrong, and you just happened to bump him like that! I know you did that on purpose, but why? Just for the sake of pissing me off or bothering me?!"

Jake's eyes were furrowed.

"He was looking at you like you were a piece of chocolate he was about to devour. Is that what you wanna hear?" he retorts. "I did it for you. For you and the handsome guy you've been apparently seeing."

Huh?

"What are you talking about?" I was so confused, that most of my anger just dissipated. 

"I heard you with Camilla, last night" he sighs.

My cheeks turn a little pink.

I can't believe this.

- Oh my god Jake. No. You've got it completely wrong, and out of context.

"I don't think I am, B. It's fine if you don't wanna tell me but-"

- No it's not fine. You can't just assume stuff like that, Jake! I'm telling you what you heard isn't really what you think. But instead of  asking me about it you just stay mad at me for something I didn't do! Which is what, not telling you about a guy I supposedly met!

"Yes, Beatrice! I am mad about it! I am mad cause I thought you would tell me important stuff like that!"

- Like what? I fire back. My Hookups? One-night stands? 

He breathes out, frustrated. "It didn't sound like such an unimportant person to you. Something about commitment and stuff, I can't remember."

I clasp my hands together, faking a smile.
- Oh great! Now you can write me the transcript of my whole conversation with her!

A moment of silence goes by, where none of us speak.

- I tell you the important stuff, Jake. And I am sorry, but what was said during that conversation is none of your business. And you can't be mad at me for something that didn't imply you in the first place. 

My tone was low, but laced with sadness. 

"You're right, I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." His face is apologetic, and he sighs. "Can we just go in, for now? We'll talk about that later."

- No. I'm not getting in.  

"What?"

I'm already dialing a number, about to call for a cab.

But a second later, Jake is over me, grabbing my waist, and throwing me over his shoulder in an effortless move.

Damn you Jake, that was hot.

"Put me down! I'm going home!"

- Nope.

He enters the car and sits down in the backseat, putting me on his lap.

I immediately sit down on the actual seat, beside him. I try to get the further away I can, but that man's legs are so long that he's taking quite some space in the back.

- Are you sure you wanna sit like that, Tris? It looks like you're about to glue yourself to the door, he snickers.

"I'm not talking to you", I mutter, not looking at him.

The guys with us are giving us curious looks, but I brush them off and lay my head against the window. 

It's the middle of the night, I haven't slept, and my nerves are on fire.

I rest a little, and try to use the silent ride as an opportunity to calm down. I replay the conversation over and over again in my head. 

I hate it when I fight with Jake.

Also, the conversation left so many blank spaces, and it kind of looked like a misunderstanding to me. 

These realizations, after a lot of overthinking, made me realize being mad at him is unnecessary. For now. Maybe it's nothing, after all.

 I clear my throat. 

Oliver is asleep in the front, Luke looks focused on the road as he hums along with the songs playing low on the radio.

 I turn to Jake, whispering.

"Can we talk alone, later?"

"Of course", he smiles softly.

I nod, staying silent. 

"I'm sorry", I finally say, fidgeting with my nails.

"I'm sorry too, Prior."

He looks at me for a beat in an indecipherable expression, then holds out his hands. "Come here", he whispers.

I don't hesitate as he's motioning for me to get closer.

I shift in my place in order to lay in the backseats, putting my head on his lap, facing him.

In that position, I feel so small in his hands. He wraps them around me, and I bury my face in his shirt. 

He smells so good, oh my goodness.

- This is much more comfortable than the door.

He chuckles, and I smile, proud to make him laugh.

Quickly, the night catches up to me, and my eyelids close.

Soon enough, I drift into a light, dreamless sleep.