ambivalence ☆ // awsten knight

☆ looking up ☆

i am actually so sorry about how long i've been gone but i went to the LA show and then lost all motivation to do anything for a long time. i am back with a vengeance now!

this is dedicated to fruitrollups-

☆

the day margot planned to go to awsten's started out like any other day: with a lot of panic. she was so glad she was back on her meds, because they really were helping, but this would be the first time she would be going over to awsten's apartment after their whole... situation... as more than just a casual "friend" hangout.

it was still casual, just not so much acting like friends who were dating anymore. she was more or less working towards completely forgiving him, and that night was probably going to solidify it, not that awsten was aware of that.

she put on something comfortable, just a pair of soft shorts and a cropped tank top. she didn't want to look like she was trying too hard, or not trying hard enough, so she hoped her outfit was cute but also calm.

olive had been gone all day, so she avoided any stares or comments from her, which, as much as she appreciated what she was doing, she was really grateful for the silence.

margot had texted awsten that morning to ask what time to come over, but he'd just replied "whenever you want to". sigh. so she decided a little past lunch time would be good enough, that way it wouldn't seem like she was too eager (she kind of was... but he didn't need to know that. she grabbed her phone to text him, her phone already open to his contact like it always was.

i'm about to head over
margot

awesome! door's
unlocked so just
come right in
when you get
here
awsten

that doesn't seem
safe...
margot

i like to live on
the edge
awsten

mmm, i'm sure
margot

:(
awsten

:)
margot

okay leaving now!
margot

she grabbed her keys and headed out, making sure to lock her apartment (unlike some people). she rolled down the windows on the way there, enjoying the nice weather which was helping relieve her anxiety a bit.

margot pulled up, just knowing the way there by heart now. she followed awsten's advice and just walked straight into his apartment against her better judgement. he obviously heard her enter, because he emerged from his office, already grinning at her. she took the time it took him to reach her to look him over.

he was in a pair of shorts and a cutoff tanktop and her eyes went immediately to his arms. she recovered when he stopped in front of her, smiling.

he reached out and pulled her into a hug, squeezing tight before letting her go.

"hey, i was just working on some stuff in my office. you wanna see?" he offered, walking her into the kitchen. she nodded and he pulled out a fruit roll up and a capri sun and handed it to her.

"as promised." he giggled. he then took her hand, guiding her into his office. she kinda hated how aesthetic his office was. "you can sit on the couch right there." he pointed.

she took her seat and he pulled his desk chair to be close to her, picking his guitar up off the stand.

"i was just messing around with chords and stuff, but it's getting to be somewhat close to a song." awsten explained, absentmindedly running his fingers over the strings. she fought the urge to stare at them. in her defense, she was just a girl.

"alright, hit me with it!" she said. she loved watching him play music, and she loved that she was probably the first person getting to hear any of this music.

he hummed along as he started, going back and forth between chords and deciding what he liked best. it was a really pretty song, a bit soft and dreamlike.

he clearly didn't have lyrics yet, but margot could kind of tell he was thinking of lines or words as he was playing, because he'd go back and replay a section and hum to himself before moving on. margot happily sipped on her capri sun and ate her fruit roll up as she watched, too engrossed to even check her phone or anything.

eventually, he had gotten done what he wanted to get done, and he set his guitar down. he stood up, holding out his hands to pull her up with him.

"so, thoughts?" he said, still holding both her hands, swinging them slightly. he seemed a little nervous about her response, but she wasn't sure why.

"it was beautiful." she started, "the way you play guitar is just. insane. the way you structured those chords is so interesting." she gushed.

she could have been mistaken, but she was pretty sure he was blushing slightly when he replied, "well, thank you. glad i wasn't just boring you."

"never. especially not while playing music." she said. he grinned down at her, squeezing her hands in response.

"is that what you were working on that you didn't want me to hear?" she asked, curious.

"no, no, you still don't get to hear that one. and you probably won't get to hear more of this one until it's ready. i'm very private with my music." he declared.

"haven't you leaked multiple songs on instagram live?" margot teased.

"okay, well. those were completely different circumstances." awsten tried to defend himself.

"sure, sure!" she laughed.

"shhhh." awsten pouted. "okay, you wanna watch a movie or something? i don't want you to go home yet."

she was grateful he'd said it first, because she didn't want to go home yet either.

"yeah, what were you thinking?" she asked.

"tangled?" awsten offered.

"oh, hell yes. i love that movie."

they moved into the living room, awsten still holding both of her hands and dragging her around. she just giggled and followed along with it.

they got comfy on the couch, still a little bit apart. awsten draped the blanket over both of them and started the movie. they had both obviously seen the movie many times before, but they focused their whole attention on it, because that's what tangled deserved.

throughout the movie, margot had gotten closer and closer to awsten, so by the end of the movie, her head was on his shoulder, and his arm came to rest around her shoulder. she was so comfortable that by the time the credits rolled, she was asleep on his shoulder.

☆

hehe okay so bonus points to anyone who guesses what song he's playing for her!!! sorry this took so long, i love yall :3