ambivalence ☆ // awsten knight

☆ talks ☆

heyyyyy. sorry for the lack of chapters recently i was sick :p also my parx show is in 3 days so there might be a little less content leading up to that ! anyways.

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after the long, relaxing weekend (where olive was quite literally trying to force her to relax), margot had finally come to a decision.

she was going to have a real, serious conversation with awsten, and if he didn't want to actually date her, she was going to break it off with him. she'd come to the conclusion that she would much rather be alone than be his fuck buddy.

props to anyone who could handle that, but margot was definitely not one of them.

olive had promised her that she would vacate the apartment so that margot could invite him over and talk to him. that way, if it went badly, she could kick him out easily.

she spent most of the whole day at work debating how to text him without 1. freaking him out or 2. making it sound like their normal "hang-outs".

she fianlly decided on this:

heyy :)
margot

can u come over tn?
margot

anything for you :)
awsten

is everything ok?
awsten

yeah! just need to
talk about something!
margot

alright
awsten

just let me know when
to be there
awsten

see u later :)
margot

see you later pretty girl
awsten

with that out of the way, margot felt like she could breath a bit. not a lot, but definitely more than before. she tried to tell herself it would work out no matter what, but she didn't know anything for sure.

she let awsten know to come over an hour after she got off of work, so she had time to prepare herself (and freak the fuck out).

she got off work and sped home, breaking a few speed limits. once she got there, she quickly tidied up the living room and her room, just in case. she also made sure olive had left, confirming that by searching the entire apartment.

she let out a breath once all of that was done, and made sure she didn't look too much like a mess. she decided to just keep her work clothes on, a vans t-shirt and cutoff shorts. she ran a brush through her hair and reapplied her deodorant just in case.

she checked her phone, seeing that awsten had just texted her that he had left and was on his way. that gave her twenty minutes to sit on her couch and practice breathing techniques.

she managed to distract herself enough that the knock om the door startled her. she jumped up and raced to the door. right before she opened it, she took a deep breath.

she finally opened the door, "hey!" she said, smiling up at awsten. she opened the door further so he could come in.

"hey, margot." he smiled, letting her lead him into the living room.

"make yourself comfortable." she said, sitting down next to him. she was glad this wasn't the first time he'd been here, but the circumstances in which he was here were not helping.

"okay, so." she started, unsure exactly how to breach the topic.

"what's up? you seemed a bit serious when you texted me earlier." awsten said, looking directly at her.

"i- well, it's not, like, a huge deal. god, this is going to sound so stupid." she muttered, running a hand over her face.

"are you okay?" he asked.

"oh, yeah, sorry, this is just so awkward." margot said. "okay, so, what are we?" she immediately wanted to hit herself in the face. what are we? was she in fucking high school?

she looked at awsten, who was clearly trying to hold in a laugh. she groaned and he tried to sober up.

"i'm so sorry, but i don't think i've ever been outright asked that. caught me off guard a bit." he said, smirking. "what do you want us to be?" he asked.

"i don't know if i want to answer that." margot said, hiding behind her hands.

"hey, come on, show me your pretty face." awsten said, pulling her hands away. "i want you to be honest with me, i would like to know where you want this to go."

she figured this didn't exactly sound like a rejection for anything, so she powered through. "i would... well. i would like for us to be, like, officially together." she got out eventually. she tried not to retreat back behind her hands. this was probably the most embarrassed she'd ever been, truly.

"hey, margot, look at me." awsten reached out and touched her chin, guiding her to look at him. "did you think i didn't want that?" he asked.

"well, i just wasn't sure." she mumbled, cheeks blazing.

"trust me, as much as i like what's going on currently, i would really like to be able to take you out and show you off." he said, moving his hand to cup her cheek.

"oh, okay, wow." margot said, honestly a bit shocked. this was obviously her most wanted outcome, but she was surprised that she actually got it.

"so, margot. do you want to go on a date with me?" awsten asked.

"yes, yes i do." she smiled. he grinned and pulled her in for quick kiss. it was a bit awkward because they were both smiling into it but she didn't care.

"okay, now i need to go plan where to take you." awsten said, pulling back.

"do i get to know?" she asked, now in a much better mood now that the talking part was over.

"absolutely not. it has to be a surprise. i will, however, let you know what you need to wear." he smirked.

"oh, what a gentleman." she teased.

the said their goodbyes, deciding to hold off on any... other... activities before their date. awsten said that he wanted it to be like a real first date, despite the fact that they'd technically done date-like things in the past.

margot was fine with that, she liked being treated like that. she let olive know she was free to come back and slumped back into couch.

if she could avoid it, she would never, ever have to have a conversation like that ever again.

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