"Borderline personality disorder is a mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. Symptoms include emotional instability, feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, impulsivity, and impaired social relationships. People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain. People with borderline personality disorder also tend to view things in extremes, such as all good or all bad. Their interests and values can change quickly, and they may act impulsively or recklessly. Other signs or symptoms may include:
• Efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment, such as plunging headfirst into relationships—or ending them just as quickly. (Yep.)
• A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, such as believing someone is perfect one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel. (A million percent.)
• A distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self. Quick changes in how you see yourself, including shifting goals and values, seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist. (All right.)
• Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance misuse, reckless driving, and binge eating. (I'm on a roll here.)
• Self-harming behavior, such as cutting. (See above.)
• Recurring thoughts of suicidal behaviors or threats. (Right again.)
• Periods of stress-related paranoia. (Check.)
• Intense and highly variable moods, with episodes lasting from a few hours to a few days. (Yep again.)
• Chronic feelings of emptiness. (Absolutely.)
• Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger. (Yeah.)
• Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside one's body, or feelings of unreality. (Check, check, and check.)
I think I've read every article ever written on BPD. Treatments mainly include therapy and medications to treat anxiety and depression and stuff. It feels so hopeless. Everyone says it takes time and I want to believe one day it'll be better but what if it takes me first?
