The Ghost of You

AUTHOR'S HEARTFELT NOTE ❤️‍🩹🤍📝

Hello my fellow readers~ Did you miss me? How much did you miss me?? Or did you only miss my story?? Hehe I'm sorry for leaving you for so long without saying anything 🥺 but there's so many things going on so here I'm going to share a bit on what's happening. I'm also sharing this because I think I need someone to talk to because these few weeks is draining me so much 🥺 It's okay if you don't read this, I just really want to share this hehe

Firstly, I was very busy and too tired to write and think. But this wasn't the main reason haha I'm tired about work but most of all, I was busy preparing for a road trip with some close friends. One of our friend is getting married and she's the person that I love the most. So we're on a road trip for her wedding.

She got married last week and I still haven't moved on until today. I was so sad, don't get me wrong. I'm so happy for her but I'm kinda sad for me? Does that make sense?? It's like I lose someone already. And then me and my friends went on a trip after the wedding which I suppose to be enjoying very much because I've been looking forward to it, but turns out I wasn't having that much fun hahaha it was FUN, but not as fun as when she's with me. I'm a clingy person. But only a certain person can see that side of me and she's one of them. But she wasn't there so.. yeah.. I fucking miss her. So much. I cried every time we say goodbye, and I cried again the night I said my last goodbye to her. I hope I can go on a trip with her again someday 🥹

The next thing, if you're my loyal readers you'll notice that I talked about my "first love" in The Ghost of You BTS and fun fact. The story behind the title The Ghost of You is it's one of the song that my first love likes by 5 Seconds of Summer. So guess what?? I went to her wedding today 🥹 Yes, her wedding.

She finally got married 🥹 I've moved on from her a few years back but hey, let's be honest you gotta be feeling something when you saw someone who used to be the love of your life getting married to someone else right?? We stayed friends even after I confessed to her years ago and I'm very happy she found someone who will take a good care of her. She asked me to come to her wedding and I skipped work to go to her wedding because she said she really wanted me to come 🤣 She asked, "Are you coming to my wedding?🥺" After I said I can't take any leave, she said "Out of all people, of course I want you to come 🥺" And that's it, that's my limit, I'm so soft for her hahaha so I took the earliest ferry that took 2 hours to arrive (I live on an island and the only way to go to the venue is by ferry to go to mainland and then took a car) and only see and talk to her for a few minutes hahaha and then went back home the same day with the same 2 hours ferry but that's okay~ The things I'd do for her.. right?

I took pictures with her and everything. We hugs and seeing her that close again, so beautiful in white reminds me of the old days 🥹 At first I didn't want to go because I need to work and mostly because I'm still sad about my close friend's wedding. If I go to her wedding, it's like adding salt to the wound I guess?? Hahaha but it's okay, really. I think I handle this better than I thought hehe It just got me thinking, it could've been us you know? Me and her.. Hahaha maybe in another universe or another lifetime I guess.. Or maybe just in my imagination haha but ever since her.. I haven't been feeling anything for anyone else 🥹

So, I'm still handling my emotions and everything. I still get sad, and sometimes when I'm alone or when it rains, I cried hahaha. Those two are my number 1 and 2 at heart 🤍 I haven't been feeling like this for a VERY LONG TIME. And now those feelings that I hate the most, that kinda feels like a heavy heart, or when you wakes up and your heart starts beating fast.. Those sudden emptiness and sadness that came out of nowhere.. I'm feeling all those things again 🥺 I've locked those feelings away for a long time that I haven't been feeling anything emotionally serious, but I guess these two person who I love the most unlocked it back.

So.. there's that hehe.. Sorry for ranting to you~ I'll update my story as soon as I can okay? Thank you for being patient. Don't run away okay~ 🥺 The story hasn't finished, I'm just taking a break. Thank you~ 🤍

With love,
FH.