Logan's Version

Logan's Version (scene 5) - Date Expectations

Logan: (answering a phone call) Hello, Logan's Version. How may I help you? (pause) I am he (pause) No, we do only sitcoms, no other genre l, (pause) because it's not Logan's Version without a comical diversion [laugh track]. (He giggles briefly but quickly frowns) Start laughing. That was funny. (pause) Yes, I'm ordering u [laugh track]. Don't ever say that again. That is inappropriate (pause). Oh, I sound like a 7 year old? Well, you sound like you could use a retirement home (he ends the call as Zoey walks in) [laugh track]
Zoey: We are working way too many jobs to put up with that attitude, Logan. I can't believe you were upset over a simple phone call
Logan: (bluntly) The rude guy said he wants to have a chat with you.
Zoey: Sure, give him my number so I can put him on my Top 40 blocked guys chart [laugh track]
Logan: (mocks) Who's your current #1 at the moment?
Michael: (walks into the room with Zoey's phone) Trevor Hart [laugh track]. Your phone has been ringing for a while
Logan: Trevor Hart? Who is Trevor? (realizes in shock) You said you blocked him a week ago
Zoey: (nervously stutters) Um, y, yes, but my phone has been, um, bad, yes, screen issues (Logan & Michael look unconvinced)
Logan: Taylor bought you that phone a month ago, so it's not "bad." Spill!
Zoey: Fine, nothing is going on. And yes, he's my ex, but we only see each other as friends. It's not a bad idea to reconnect with your ex, right? (looks at Michael) Shouldn't u be at home, little man?
Michael: Mom said u have to babysit again today
Zoey: (turns to Logan) Really?
Logan: Yeah, that's true
Zoey: U were supposed to tell me on time because I have to go out today
Michael: Where u going, Miss Zoey?
Zoey: To meet a friend
Logan: (suspicious) Does the friend happen to be Trevor "Hart"? (air quotes Hart - meaning heart)
Zoey: Yes, it is. And please, let it slide, and don't make it look like I'm obsessed with trying to get him back (laugh track)
Logan: (stares at Zoey) obsessed? get him back? reconnect with your ex? (faces camera) That's three hints too many, I don't know why there's a laugh track, but I think she's been hanging out with Olivia one time too many [laugh track]
Zoey: (rolls eyes) I haven't. you're just having a bad case of deja vu (laugh track)
Logan: (glares) Yeah, maybe, I have. What if he shows up with flowers? (doorbell rings)
Zoey: He won't. We're just friends. And I can get myself flowers (grins)
Michael: (Runs to the door) I'll get it
Trevor: (standing at the door with a bouquet of rose flowers, smiles at Michael) Hey, little guy. Is ur bug sis home?
Michael: Yes (turns to Logan & Zoey) Hi, Princess Zoey (sing-songy) Trevor Mars got u flowers (laugh track, followed by applause)
Logan: (amused) This is the one time I'm proud of Michael's sarcasm (Trevor & Princess smile at each other)
Trevor: Ready to go, friend?
Zoey: Yes, (looks at Logan, with a smirk) friend (puts stress on "friend" to make her point clear) I'll return in a few hours.
Logan: (before closing the door) Don't hurt my sister, or you'll have no choice but to wake up in the sky [laugh track]. (Both Princess & Trevor leave, while Logan closes the door)
Logan: (turns to see Jesse standing in front of him, with a startled tone) Jesse? Where did you come from? [brief laugh track]
Jesse: (staring at Logan) Teacher Liam, can you help with my homework?
Logan: I'm stressed, Jesse. Can we do it later?
Jesse: But I want to do it now.
Logan: You can ask Michael, he's older, and is cool-headed, and knows how to help you (Jesse glances at Michael)
Michael: (singing off-key, while hitting the couch like drums) Baby sharky doodle doodle! Baby sharky doodle doo! Baby shark!!
Jesse: I'll take my chances, Mr Liam [brief laugh track]
Logan: (stares in horror) On second thought, gimme 2 hours [laugh track]. (He walks toward the kitchen)
Jesse: Good thing we're not related like that  (takes his textbook to the room. Camera focuses on Michael)
Michael: (in an orchestral, almost soprano-like voice) Baby shark goes doodle doodle do (exhales, then sings with an impressive off-key note) DOOOOOOO!!! (Massive applause amidst laugh track] (The scene ends).