Logan's Version

Logan's Version 2 (scene 3) - Meeting Mavis

The scene opens in the Hilson living room...
Zoey is helping Jesse with a creative art assignment. Jesse is painting something on a blank white canvas with a blue paintbrush, complete with his water-colored palette.
Zoey: (directing Jesse) Now, you have to paint this left side with the blue colour. OK, ready? Paint the left (Jesse mistakenly fidgets the paintbrush. Zoey widens her eyes in shock) Your other left! [laugh track] (She takes another brush and dips in green paint, then supposedly applies on the spoiled part) See, damage control.
Jesse: (relieved) Thanks, Miss Zoey. You know, it's a good thing you asked me to do my homework at the perfect time.
Zoey: (sarcastic) Yeah. 'Cause you were ruining my perfect phone call with a hot co-star [laugh track].
Jesse: And what does Trevor think about this?
Zoey: Don't tell him anything about it. We both do not want to see Trevor upset after our last fight.
Jesse: Isn't that lying?
Zoey: (defensive) No, it's not lying. Did Logan teach you nothing when you were in kindergarten?
Jesse: We both know he obviously didn't [laugh track].
Zoey: Let's ask Logan what he thinks about this conversation.
Logan: (offscreen) I think we should get this painting over with. (The two face Logan, who is posing as a statuette, holding a blue laptop bag) [laugh track]. Jesse, I love you. But if we don't hurry the fuck up, my joints won't be the only ones in pain [laugh track].
Zoey: Logan, watch your language. Jesse is 8.
Logan: Jesse acts like he's 18.
Zoey: But YOU'RE acting like you're the 8 year old here [laugh track]. Just stay still. We're almost through. (Proceeds to direct Jesse with the painting).
Logan: And just so we're clear, not telling Trevor about the hot co-star is technically lying. But to be on the safe side, Trevor knows you meet guys hotter than he is.
Zoey: Exactly.
Logan: (smirks) Like me.
Zoey: (bluntly) You're my brother; you don't count [laugh track]. Even though he probably won't get upset about it, no one breathes a word about it. (The doorbell rings) It's probably Tracy. Logan, get the door.
Logan: (relaxes and exhales) Finally [laugh track]. (He goes to open the door, and it turns out Tracy is at the door, with a busty lady dressed as a nurse. She seems to be the same age as Tracy. He greets in a mocking manner). Hello, Max. Seems you finally know Caroline after all [laugh track]
Tracy: Very funny, Logan. But I just happened to meet her here. She's Mavis, Jesse's cousin (turns to the lady and adds) Anyway, this is your cousin's teacher. He's Logan, I'm Tracy. And this is our humble abode.
Logan: Tracy, your house is five blocks away.
Tracy: But I'm here to watch your kid every five minutes while you're out with other women.
Logan: (irritated) It's called acting. You would know that if you didn't hate every show, I act in [laugh track].
Mavis: Well, I came to see my little cousin. Can I come in?
Logan: (He turns to Jesse's supposed cousin) Right. And (reads her name tag) Mavis, I'm so sorry for keeping you out with this boring conversation. Come in.
Mavis: (walks in) Thank you, Logan. You're actually cooler than I imagined.
Logan: (smiles) Thanks.
Tracy: (hugs Logan) Here's a side note, I'm happy that you know you're actually boring [laugh track]. (Tracy leaves Logan and goes towards the couch while the latter closes the door. Jesse leaves the painting and hugs Mavis).
Jesse: Mavis! I missed you.
Mavis: And I missed my adorable little cousin.
Zoey: Mavis, It's so good to finally meet you in person. Jesse has told me a lot about you.
Mavis: (smiling) Also nice to meet you too. Jesse says you're the fun aunt he never had.
Zoey: (smug smiles) I mean, what can I say? I am a cool.
Logan: So cool you accidentally threw a bag of ice at me for forgetting to set your alarm [laugh track]. But if Zoey is the cool aunt, what does that make me?
Mavis: (sits on the couch) You're the over ambitious teenage dad, while Tracy is your sassy wife.
Logan/Tracy: (glance at each other before grimacing) Yuck! [laugh track]
Jesse: I thought I was the only one who saw that. (Everyone stares at Jesse, who palms his face) It's a psychic joke. [laugh track].
Everyone: Ohh.
Zoey: (proudly) Anyway, we were busy helping Jesse with his homework. Your cousin is a natural artist.
Logan: He's also a natural actor. I know that because he was in the school play.
Zoey: Logan, he was Tree Number 3.
Logan: It still counts [laugh track].
Zoey: You're my brother, but I don't count you among "finest guys in the world" [laugh track].
Mavis: (glances at Logan for a while, and shrugs) Logan isn't exactly bad looking. I mean -
Logan: (smirks) She's not wrong.
Tracy: (spits out water she's drinking) Mavis, what have you done?!
Zoey: (suddenly alarmed) Take that back! I dare you! [laugh track]
Mavis: (confused) Why? (romantic music plays in the background)
Jesse: (in mock terror) How didn't I see this coming? (turns to Zoey) Zoey, make it stop!
Zoey: (twitches her right eye) It's too late, Jesse. It is coming.
Logan: (he is seen suddenly holding a rose flower with his teeth) [brief laugh track] (he slowly moves bear Mavis while talking with a sweetly baritone voice) Hello, nurse. I think I have a little injury (raises his shirt slowly to show his stomach, which is simply flat - without the six-pack) on my tummy. (smirks) Wanna feel it?
Jesse: How didn't I see this coming? (turns to Zoey) Zoey, make it stop!
Zoey: (twitches her right eye) It's too late, Jesse. It is coming.
Tracy: (scoffs) Ha! Feel what? Pinnocchio? [laugh track]
Mavis: (raises an eyebrow at Logan) Yeah, I'll pass (music abruptly stops).
Logan: (talks normally, or rather stutters) What? Why? What does he have that I don't?
Mavis: (clarifies) No, I don't have a boyfriend. I mean, I don't see you that way. (stretches out her hand) Friends?
Logan: (pouts for a few seconds before shrugging) Yeah, it's cool (shakes Mavis' hand). Friends!
Mavis: (checks her phone) Well, I better get going. I have a cute 22 year-old patient I have to attend to in 20 minutes. (she stands up to leave)
Jesse: (startled) But Mavis, you just got here. Don't leave.
Mavis: (pats Jesse's cheeks) Jesse, I have to go now. But I'll definitely visit again when I'm free. OK?
Jesse: OK, Mavis.
Zoey: Stop by anytime you're available.
Mavis: Sure, that's not a problem. Just ask your brother not to do that again; it's creepy (points at Logan. Zoey, Tracy, and Jesse turn to Logan, who is making a design on another blank paper canvas, apparently from Jesse's)
Logan: (designing the word "LOVIS" on the canvas, with the rose still in between his teeth. He stops and faces the others before removing the rose) [laugh track] What? You know what they say? Love is patient. Get it? [laugh track] (ironically, no one is amused).
Zoey: Logan, I love you. But do not make me lose my patience! [brief laugh track]
Tracy: Nice word play.
Zoey: (smiles) I learnt it from the best.
Logan: (retorts) You learnt it from ME! [Laugh track]
Mavis: I'll visit next week (turns to leave. Zoey is about to close the door, but Logan runs to meet her, trying to call out to Mavis).
Logan: If you want, I can give you my number. For Jesse's sake!
Mavis: (replies back) No, thanks! [laugh track]
Logan: (closes the door) Man, I can't believe she doesn't care about Jesse.
Tracy: Logan, she's not interested.
Logan: Yet. (smirks) Give her some time. She'll come around (goes back to being Jesse's muse)
Jesse: (whispers to Zoey & Tracy) Should I tell him now?
Zoey: He's in a good mood. Let's not ruin it. (Jesse shrugs and continues painting)
Tracy: (lost in thought) Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something? (Trevor suddenly walks in, obviously annoyed)
Trevor: (with an irritated tone) Tracy, you were supposed to tell Zoey about the emergency meeting with the producers that we're almost late for!
Tracy: (realizes) Oh, shoot! I forgot! (turns to Zoey) Zoey, you have an emergency meeting with the producers of the movie you're working on [laugh track].
Zoey: (with a blank, sarcastic expression) Wow, thanks, Tracy. What would I do without you? [laugh track]
Logan: Well, you guys better get going. I'll take care of Jesse.
Zoey: OK, fine. (goes to the room to get her handbag and immediately returns) I'm ready. (Zoey, Tracy, and Trevor leave immediately, with Logan closing the door. As he locks the door, he turns to Jesse)
Logan: (admires Jesse's painting) It looks amazing, big guy.
Jesse: (smiles widely) Thanks, Liam.
Logan: (notices something) Just one thing. Move this purple colour to the right. (Just like earlier, Jesse makes another accidental splat on the painting. Logan widens his eyes in shock) Jesse, what did you do? I meant with your right hand! [final laugh track] (the scene ends, slowly fading to black).