Logan's Version

LV 3 [a lockdown comedy] (scene 10) - stuck... at home

The scene opens with Jesse, Kelsea, and Lincoln eating cereals at the dining table. However, Kelsea and Lincoln are having a conversation while Jesse focuses on his breakfast.
Lincoln: When I returned to the class, I found out Matt had taken the blue pens and blamed the whole thing on me. That's how I knew he was not to be trusted.
Kelsea: (exhales) Lincoln, that's touching and all. But I only asked what your favourite colour is [laugh track]
Jesse: (scoffs) Wow, Kelsea. It took you three stories to realize what I actually deal with every day [brief laugh track]
Kelsea: You said he bullies you at school. Physically.
Jesse: And mentally. His stories are exhausting! [brief laugh track]
Logan: (cheerfully walks out of the room) Good morning, children.
Jesse/Kelsea/Lincoln: (they exchange surprised glances among themselves before replying) CHILDREN?!
Jesse: Mr Liam, what's with the happy mood? We're supposed to be exhausted; it's a written law in the pandemic construction [brief laugh track]
Lincoln: (to Kelsea) And this is another reason I annoy him; he's a nerd.
Logan: (annoyed at Lincoln) You have a lot of nerds at school, and you choose to ruin my baby's life?!
Jesse: (to Lincoln) We're in my house, don't start. (turns to Logan and whispers) Mr Liam, we talked about this. I'm 10 years old now, and I'm not a baby anymore.
Logan: (smiles and squeezes Jesse's cheeks) But you're still my adorable, 10 year-old guardian baby [brief laugh track]. Besides, I'm trying to look at the positive side of things during the pandemic.
Tracy: (walks into the living room wearing a face mask and carrying a grocery bag) Hello, children.
Kelsea: I think we woke up in an alternate reality [brief laugh track]
Logan: No, Kelsea. It's the same world where I'm famous -
Tracy: (cuts in as she drops the bag on the centre table) A famous one hit wonder actor. [brief laugh track]
Jesse: Technically, one hit wonders tend to actually help a lot. (singsongy) One sound, 7 years old. (Everyone stares at him in wonder) [applause track]
Tracy: You're lucky you have talent [brief laugh track]. Besides, the only famous star we all know is Nigel Forrester. And I'm going to call him right now! (She starts to dial his number on her phone. He picks up and sings) Hello?
Nigel: (comes out of the kitchen in matching blue pyjamas. He looks quite exhausted) Tracy, do you mind not singing your greetings every time you call me?
Tracy: (sings into the phone) It's me [brief laugh track]
Jesse: (shrugs) Wow, I never knew Adele was really Tracy Montana in the noon time.
Logan: More like an Adele wannabe [laugh track]
Simran: (walks in) Tracy, you really need to chill with the way you walk.
Tracy: Well, the lockdown song of the year just got released, and we have to agree. It's one of the very relatable songs of the decade.
Logan/Tracy: (cheerfully singsongy) STUCK WITH U!! [Laugh track]
Jesse: Is this supposed to be a musical special they do in an episode of every show?
Lincoln: Unfortunately, yes [brief laugh track]
Logan/Tracy: (singing together, imitating singers on stage as they climb on the couch) So lock the door, and throw out the key. Can't fight this no more, it's just you and me! And there's nothing that, nothing that I can do! I'm stuck with u, stuck with u, STUCK WITH U!!
Kelsea: The singing is awful, but the song is a future bop! [brief laugh track]
Logan/Tracy: So go ahead! And drive me insane! Baby, run your mouth. It's just you and me. And there's nothing that, nothing that I can do! I'm stuck with u, stuck with u, STUCK WITH YOU!!
Jesse: (to Lincoln and Kelsea) It's not so bad.
Tracy: (tries to sing with a high pitch tone) I'M STUCK WITH U, STUCK WITH U, STUCK WITH YOU!!! [Laugh track] (Logan stops singing and moves toward Simran. He raises
Simran: (covers her ears) Oh, no. Armanie trying to rap is better than Tracy doing the falsetto false singing.
Kelsea: It's like trying to impersonate a horny cat and failing to do so.
Logan: I don't know where you got that idea from, but you are right for the first time [brief laugh track]
Jesse: (shrugs) Who cares? We should all sing along. One day, we'll remember this song and call it the best lockdown collaboration given to mankind.
Lincoln: As long as nothing ruins it further.
Nigel: (runs in from nowhere and sings along with Tracy - with an entirely off-key singing voice) There's nothing that, nothing that I can do! I'm stuck with u, stuck with u, STUCK WITH YOU!!
Jesse: (to Logan) Ariana & Justin just left the group chat. [laugh track] (He turns toward the kitchen)
Kelsea: Jesse, you were Justin time with the right solutions. (Everyone stops singing and stares at her. She scoffs) Great, it's funny when Jesse makes a Stuck With U joke, but not me?
Lincoln: Unfortunately, yes [laugh track]. (Kelsea and Lincoln walk to the kitchen)
Simran: When the kids are away, the adults will sing their hearts away. [brief laugh track] (The chorus of the "Stuck With U" song starts to play again. This time, Logan, Simran, Tracy, and Nigel lip sync along cheerfully, as the scene ends)