Logan's Version

Logan's Version 2 (scene 2) - Smiley Back

The scene opens in the living room...
Logan and Zoey are playing a board game, Monopoly, with Jesse, Tracy, and Trevor present participating as well...
Jesse: (counting) 3, 4, 5 (picks up a card). Another Get Out of a Jail Free Card? (happily) Man, I'm on fire.
Trevor: (sassily) Yeah, it's ironic how you keep being bailed out every 10 seconds [laugh track]
Zoey: (turns to Logan) Logan, how are you so rich? Yet so bad at Monopoly?
Logan: (counting the huge wad of Monopoly cash in his hand) I don't know. But we could call it "strokes" of good luck. (laughs heartily) [laugh track]
Tracy: (gloomily) Yes, indeed. Different strokes for different people. (Everyone turns to face Tracy, surprised at her saddened tone)
Logan: (concerned) Normally, I don't say this. But, Tracy, you got to cheer up. Your smile is the only time you look pretty [laugh track]
Zoey: Bro, that's not helping. Just (exhales) Tracy, what's wrong?
Tracy: Just lost some money today at the bank. Huge bummer.
Logan: (genuinely concerned) Wow, sorry to hear that.
Trevor: Yeah, but you gotta be strong. You gain some, and you lose some.
Zoey/Jesse: True.
Zoey: I'm sure the money is a bit small and easily recoverable.
Logan: (brightens up) What if I told you guys something that happened back at kindergarten  to brighten up the place?
Tracy: (heaves a sigh) It doesn't change the fact that I lost $20,000
Logan/Zoey/Trevor/Jesse: (their eyes widen in shock) 20,000?! [laugh track]
Trevor: (bluntly) Jesse, quick! Use your visions! Tell us when we get the money back!
Jesse: (confused) Don't you mean, "IF"?
Zoey: (snaps) Jesse, Tracy lost a huge sum. Don't just blurt out "IF" like there's no hope for her! [laugh track]
Jesse: But there IS no hope for her.
Logan: Jesse Carmichael, you better look into the future right now and tell us what you see. Is it the money you want? (hands some Monopoly cash) I got the money! [laugh track]
Jesse: (irritated) For the 500th time, my visions don't work that way!!
Tracy: (rolls eyes and hits the table to get their attention. She snaps) This is crazy! It's of no use finding it! I don't know why, but I'd rather listen to Logan's fake tales than listen to your rants!
Zoey: You're right. We're sorry. (exhales) Logan, carry on.
Logan: (heaves a sigh) This happened when Drea and Danny were in kindergarten. Wanted to cheer up everyone's spirits, so I decided on a smiling contest...

[Flashback]
(The classroom scene opens as Logan is sitting and teaching the pupils)
Logan: It is very important to always be in high spirits.
Aloysius: (stands up) I'm always in high spirits. See? (The chorus of "Tik Tok" by Kesha plays from nowhere, while he does a silly party dance) [laugh track]
Logan: (with a blank expression) Not that kind of high (Aloysius frowns, sits down. Logan continues) We should smile more often. And that way, we realize we shouldn't always be stressed over the slightest things. Is that understood?
The class: (chorus in unison) Yes, teacher
Logan: In fact, we'll start from today up till tomorrow, and tell us what smiling has done for u. The best "smiley face" wins a gift.
Drea: Can you join us in the contest?
Logan: No [laugh track]
Olivia: (whispers to Drea) If only I were in the mood to make me smile
Drea: (tries to be reassuring) Olivia, u know what they say, Hakuna matata.
Olivia: (perplexed) Hakira ma who?
Drea: (repeats) Hakuna matata. It means, (singsongy) don't u worry, (forgets herself temporarily and goes high pitch) child!! [brief laugh track]
Logan: (snaps his fingers at her, getting her attention) Not that kind of high either [laugh track]...

Zoey: Yeah, Drea and Danny were pretty much a handful then. That was when Logan wasn't the Logan he is now [laugh track]
Logan: (ignores Zoey) Anyway, Danny wasn't exactly wild yet, as it was the beginning of the school year. He was pretty much new to everyone and everything, not until that awful moment...

Daniel: (addressing to the boys in the class) You know I have a plan that can help "us" win the "Best Smiley Face." Wanna hear it?
The boys: (bluntly) No (all turn to face their tables, leaving Daniel in a state of surprise) [laugh track]
Kevin: Amateurs [laugh track]. (Kevin walks to the teacher's table with a marker) You left the marker at the front.
Logan: (reading a novel, hears Kevin but doesn't raise his head) OK, thanks, you can drop it on the table.
Kevin: (drops the marker and pretends to leave, but stops walking and faces Logan again) What are you reading?
Logan: A random book?
Daniel: While you're reading, you could smile a little, like this (smiles widely)
Logan: (rolls his eyes) I've seen this smile, and it's never good [laugh track]. Kevin (looks at him), what do you want?
Kevin: You know, I was wondering if you could give me a hint of what the gift is
Logan: Why?
Kevin: Because I've been smiling all day (smiles widely)
Logan: Kevin, you only smiled for 5 minutes. Our commercial break wasn't even up to 5 minutes
Daniel: (confused) A commercial break?
Logan: U will understand when u get older (looks at camera) [laugh track]. And no, I can not tell u about the gift
Daniel: (grins) I'm asking for a friend
Logan: Almost everyone here is your friend. So pick one.
Daniel: (thinks, grins and whispers) Danny.
Logan: Daniel? (faces Danny, who)
The kid barely smiles.
Daniel: (with blank sarcasm) I didn't know that [laugh track]. Good news, he said he wants to participate in the contest in order to come out of his shell.
Logan: Danny didn't say that [laugh track]
Kevin: (tries to negotiate) But if Danny is able to smile at least once, then I'll have to share the gift with him.
Logan: (losing interest in the discussion) K. Sure. You can go now.
Daniel: (smirks, with a touch of mischief, thinks) Good luck with the impossible
Logan: I heard that! (Startles Kevin, who rushes to his seat) [laugh track]

(The five are still playing the Monopoly game)
Tracy: I don't get. How did Danny become the crazy one?
Logan: (drops another card) Well, let's cut corners. Let's see, I forgot to give David his lunch and nearly got fired for it. Olivia and Drea were trying their very best to win the contest without winning [laugh track]. Yeah, Kevin was determined to help Danny...

Danny: Determined to be desperate, I see? (staring blankly at Kevin, who still has a creepy grin on his face) [laugh track] You know that's not gonna work.
Kevin: (stops smiling and groans in frustration. He pleads) You have to smile. Just once.
Danny: I will, when you're not desperate about everything
Kevin: That's not true.
Drea: (going to throw an empty juice box) He ain't lying
Kevin: I didn't ask u, Drea.
Aloysius: (joins in) Danny ain't lying
Kevin: (fakes sobbing) How could you? Best friends don't break people's hearts
Aloysius: Best friends tell the truth always.
Kevin: No, they don't. See? (resumes smiling at Danny) [laugh track].
Danny: (notices the sheepish grin on their faces) Why are you all looking like that?
Drea: To win the gift of the best smiley face.
Danny: (bluntly) You're just trying to get something that's not even gonna be useful in the next 2 to 5 months (there's a sound of shattering glass and loud gasps are heard in the background) [laugh track]
Olivia: (sipping tea) The audacity! [laugh track]
Drea: (all gasp) Daniel Kenton! Do not speak such words.
Danny: Cuz it's the truth?
Kevin: Yes [laugh track]
Logan: (observing the ongoing drama) I think I've had enough. (stands up) Everyone! Let's make a circle. (The class sits around a big round table, while Logan sits in front of them. He exhales before announcing) After all the craziness of today, I've decided who the winner of the "Best Smiley Face" is.
Drea: (whispers to Olivia) It doesn't matter who wins it anyway. Smiling is still a beautiful thing.
Olivia: So if u don't win?
Drea: I'd be cool with it.
Logan: (calls out) Everyone. Put your hands together for (announces) Aloysius!
Aloysius: (celebrates, does his silly dance again) I WON! (The class, except Kevin and Drea, applauds him as he stands near Logan)
Drea: (angrily) HE won? How could he win?!
Olivia: (sassily) I don't know. Cuz you're cool with it? [laugh track]
Aloysius: (holds his gift box, smiles widely, and shouts) I'm so happy! YEAH! Good thing I brought the speech I wrote. (He brings out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket) [brief laugh track]
Logan: (confused) Aloysius, you're not very good at reading yet.
Aloysius: (still smiling, whispers) Play along [laugh track].
Olivia: Why are you smiling like that? STOP smiling like that!
Aloysius: (smiling) I can't. I've been smiling all day, and now, my face is frozen (Logan and Olivia stare at Aloysius in horror) [laugh track]
Logan: What have we done?!
Olivia: Don't drag me into this! [Another laugh track]

Later...
Logan: (on the phone) You know, Mikey, speaking of work, I need a weekend job. That way, I'll have 2 sources of income (pauses as a very upset Kevin approaches him)
Kevin: (folds his arms) You said that I would get the gift.
Logan: IF Danny won. That's your fault [laugh track]
Kevin: Danny IS supposed to win. That's the point of every contest episode in sitcoms [laugh track]. Now, Danny is upset.
Logan: So who exactly is upset? You or Danny?
Kevin: Yes [laugh track] (he returns to his chair)
Logan: (continues the phone call) Sorry about that. Where am I even going to get another job from?
Danny: (wearing dark sunglasses and a leather jacket, hands over a doodle business card to Logan) [brief laugh track] I sell cars. (smirks, showing his right dimple) Call me (goes back to his seat, while William stares at the "offer" card in his hand) [laugh track]

Logan: To this day, Danny draws cars in my books, even in my sleep [laugh track].
Tracy: Even though I don't know Danny that well, I'm impressed. This oddly lifted my spirits up.
Logan: Why do I always end up involved in weird drama?
Everyone: (glaring) You never listen!! [laugh track]
Zoey: Good thing you didn't get fired for that. The little boy had toothache for days.
Logan: Yep. Lesson learned. Smiling too much isn't good for our health.
Jesse: (happily) Unless you get another Jail Free card! Like I said, I always see it coming [laugh track].
Trevor: How are you even winning?!
Alfred: (walks in with his school bag) Tracy, I think you left some money in my bag. (Everyone glares at Tracy for being careless with her money) [laugh track]
Tracy: (oblivious to the glares) Oh, yeah. I totally forgot you were even here. Thanks, Alfred. (takes the bag and counts the money. She feels something is off). I had 20 pennies here. Where's 5 of them? (notices something on Alfred's lips) Alfred?
Alfred: (cleans the ice cream stain on his lips) Nowhere.
Tracy: Alfred?!
Alfred: (defensive) They were bringing the Smiley Back special! I had to go with it (sits beside Trevor) [laugh track].
Zoey: Next time, you lose something. Blame Alfred [laugh track]. Now, let's get this game over with.
Jesse: (worried) Guys, I'm stuck in jail, and my bail cards are gone. Can anyone help?
Everyone: Nope (they all stand up and leave the couch) [laugh track]. (Jesse looks around and smiles to himself)
Jesse: At least I got gift money for my new house. See you soon, Maine Street! [laugh track] (He counts the money continuously as the scene ends).