Logan's Version

Logan's Version (scene 4) - Child's Play

Logan: (excitedly wearing his hoodie) We're finally shooting the final episode of Crazy Things today. I need a break from set
Zoey: (arranging her purse) Right, but we can't because of two reasons. Firstly, we still need to be on set for the action movie that Marvel is filming.
Logan: Apparently, we're the poor siblings Tom Holland saves and befriends on the streets (laugh track)
Zoey: (chuckles) Wow, u have one Holla of a wild imagination (laugh track)
Logan: Whatever (exhales) What's the second reason?
Jesse: (Runs in with an empty carton) Teacher, I've donated everything in the empty box to a family in need, including your savings of 5K dollars, your Adidas sneakers and a couple of books u don't use. It's as u always say, help those in need. U really are the teacher. Respect (laugh track)
Logan: (clearly irritated, exhales calmly) Jesse, what have u done?
Jesse: (sulkingly) U don't like it?
Logan: Oh, Jesse. U and I both know that Teacher is broke without the box (laugh track) And Imma need u to get my money back
Jesse: Now?
Logan: (bluntly) Um, yes. In fact, like I always say, use your imagination
Zoey: (with a deadly glare) Logan, are u insane?
Logan: (cuts in) Sis, U do NOT want to ruin this teacher-pupil bonding moment (laugh track). Now, run along (Jesse goes to drop the box in the room)
Drea: (on the couch, eating popcorn) Do u guys mind? SpongeBob is on TV, I need my peace and quiet.
Jesse: U can't "be" peace and quiet, u r a child
Drea: (glares at Jesse) Jesse, don't make me use this clarinet (shows an actual clarinet that wasn't there in the first place). It works as good as Squidward's when it deafens (laugh track)
Jesse: (scared, moves towards Logan) Teacher Liam?
Logan: (holds Jesse) OK, that's enough, you two (to Zoey). Sis, the second reason, houses three other reasons (laugh track)
Jesse: U think? (another laugh track)
Logan: What are we going to do about the kids? We can't leave them alone
Zoey: Luckily for us, I already contacted Mikey to help babysit for the weekend; he should be here any second (looks around). Where's Danny?
Logan: (shrugs) He's fine, probably in one of the rooms. Besides, the boy's practically an angel (doorbell rings)
Michael: I'll get it (hurries to open the door)
Mikey: (obviously annoyed while holding a bag of meat pies. He looks annoyed, obviously, because Danny is hugging his right leg tightly. [Laugh track] Logan, why do u always leave ur kids unsupervised and expect me to bear the consequences? (quiet laugh track)
Michael: (happily) Teacher, look, it's Uncle Mikey (then, faces Logan and mocks) with your angel (laugh track, followed by applause. Zoey gives Logan the "I told u so" look, while Mikey walks in, dragging Danny along with him)
Zoey: Mikey, I'm so sorry about Danny. He's been having issues lately.
Mikey: Is he homesick?
Logan: Nah, he's been having car troubles lately. Apparently, he's got no brakes (laugh track)
Danny: (stands up quickly) Hey, Jesse! Let's do something cool
Jesse: Let's make paintings on Teacher's long note and give them to the art seller down the street
Danny: Yeah! Last person is a loser (Jesse and Danny run to Logan's room, yelling) [laugh track]
Logan: (alarmed) No, no, not my long book! (faces Mikey & Zoey) See, always moving (surprised, to Zoey) Besides, I thought u bought new bed sheets with hand and footprint designs
Zoey: Me too. I thought u did
Mikey: But if u look at the bright side, u always tell them to be creative and use their imagination. And that's what they did. So, technically, it's your fault (laugh track)
Michael: (sitting with Drea, eating popcorn) Children, right?
Logan: (twitches eye) Michael-
Zoey: (stops him) Please, don't. We have to hurry cuz we're already late (moves towards the door with Logan). Mikey, thanks so much once again. I've got everything u need to know about them on this paper (hands paper to Mikey)
Logan: And do not let anything happen to them, especially Jesse
Mikey: Because he's your youngest?
Logan: NO, because he's secretly vengeful and destructive (laugh track). Drea, tell Michael what happened last Tuesday
Drea: (turns to Michael, who listens attentively) OK, one time, at home, Jesse said -
Logan: (rolls eyes) The other Michael! (infinite laugh track, followed by applause)
Zoey: U can tell him later, bye everyone (leaves with Logan)
Mikey: (closes the door, as Jesse & Danny join Drea & Michael in the living room. Danny is completely covered in green paint, while Jesse is covered in yellow. Mkey stares at the two boys, amidst laugh track) What happened?
Danny: Jesse got upset because I painted green instead of yellow, so he said, "Young man, u have to paint it green, or u will be more yellow than u are." (Laugh track)
Michael: Yellow than u are?! Who taught u that? (Mikey has a moment of revelation - they learned it from Logan) Oh (laugh track)
Drea: (to Michael) That's what Teacher was trying to tell u Michael
Mikey: (irritated) Drea, It's MY Michael. MINE (laugh track) Clean yourselves up. And when you're done, y'all will sit down on the couch, watch TV, and not make a sound.
Michael: (to Drea, Danny & Jesse) U heard what the cool uncle said. Now, sit down (laugh track)
Mikey: (stares at the audacity) Michael, sit with them. Remember, Uncle Mikey needs some peace and quiet.
Michael: (smirks at Drea) Now, HE is the one who can be peace and quiet.
Drea: How do u know that?
Michael: Because I'm older than ALL of u by this many (raises 5 fingers)
Drea: (annoyed) You're like 8 -
Danny: (runs in, after changing his shirt) Drea, stop. Do not finish that sentence (laugh track) Teacher said we should never say that or else, (in a dramatic Logan tone) we gon be in big trouble (laugh track, while Danny & Jesse sit on the chair)
Mikey: (wondering how on Earth Logan & Zoey met these kids, exhales in frustration) I need to lie down [final laugh track]. (He goes to the room, while the 4 kids watch TV comfortably - sort of. Scene ends).