Logan's Version

LV 3 [a lockdown comedy] (scene 20) - Lockdown O'ween

Logan: (narrating in front of a phone) It's Halloween 2020! I know, not as exciting as you think. Because we're still at home because of the pandemic...
Tracy: Logan, you're boring. How many times will I tell you that?
Camillo: Can you also remove your face from the camera? You're punishing it with your tofu breath.
Logan: (pauses the video recording) You both are just jealous. (smiles proudly) Besides, who can resist my manly handsomeness?
Camillo: (bluntly) All your crushes [laugh track]
Jesse: (comes out of the kitchen wearing a firefighter costume, complete with a helmet and a toy extinguishers. He sounds a bit cheerful) Happy Halloween, everyone. And happy birthday for the fifteenth time, Miss Tracy [brief laugh track]
Tracy: (smiles) Thanks, Jesse Vamp. And dare I say, you are the 2nd most handsome firefighter actor I've ever met.
Camillo: Who's the first?
Tracy: Henry Cavill [laugh track]
Logan: (imitating Starfire) He really is the handsome [another laugh track]. (talks normally) Besides, we all know Jesse got his looks from his daddy.
Tracy: You know how people say relationships with family and friends should be built on truths? Next time, lead with that [brief laugh track]
Logan: (tries to defend himself) I didn't mean me, I meant Gerald.
Camillo: (shrugs) Like she said, lead with that [laugh track]
Jesse: Too bad we couldn't farm and carve pumpkins.
Logan: You know what they say about farming. It makes us feel good from our heads to ma toes (he winks at the others, who have both confused and unsurprised looks on their faces. Logan raises an eyebrow at them) [laugh track]. Oh, come on, that's a good joke. My jokes are the second reason I'm popular.
Jesse: What's the first reason?
Logan: (shrugs) My fans. (He brings out woven hand fans from nowhere and smirks) Voila! [laugh track]
Camillo: Being a teenage dad right now, doesn't it make it funnier [another laugh track]. (The doorbell rings, and Jesse goes to open the door. It's an 11 year old boy of Indian descent with thick curly brown hair, wearing a cowboy outfit. He's holding a model of a spit vase. His look of anticipation turns to one of surprise)
Boy: No way! Jesse Carmichael?! It's Jesse Carmichael!
Jesse: (confused) Yeah, it's me. Jesse in the flesh.
Boy: I'm Rudra, and I'm slightly not a fan.
Jesse: Then why are you surprised?
Rudra: It's something you do to any famous person. It works like a charm [brief laugh track]. No offence, but do you own this house?
Logan: (approaches the door) Jesse, who's your friend? (Rudra is stunned to see Logan, and he starts stuttering) Is Ruddy OK?
Rudra: It's Jesse's dad, Logan!! He knows my name! [brief laugh track]
Tracy: He heard you tell Jesse your name. Get over it, he's famous.
Rudra: (snaps with a heavy Indian accent) It's Logan we're talking about. Put some respect on the name, Miss Didi [laugh track]. (Tracy, Camillo, Jesse, and Logan are taken aback at the audacity. Soon enough, Simran walks to and stands behind Rudra).
Simran: Rudra, we've got to leave now
Tracy: Simran? Did you adopt Ruddy early, too, like Logan here?
Rudra: Aunt Simran? I don't want to stay in the house. I want to stay with Jesse and his dad. (smiles) They're so cool!
Logan: (looks at Simran, who's about to refuse) It's Halloween 2020. It's about time he stayed somewhere that's not his house - and a place where he can make a new friend. Besides, not many people are on the boring streets, so it sucks either way. (Simran heaves a sigh and nods. Rudra walks in and starts talking to Jesse).
Camillo: You made the right choice.
Vivian: (walks in suddenly, dressed in an all pink blouse, leather pants and white flats) Dad, guess what? Uncle Armanie said I could stay over, too. (turns to Jesse and smiles) Hello, cutie.
Camillo: (alarmed) CUTIE! (stsnds quickly in protest) NO WAY! Absolutely not! [brief laugh track]
Simran: Believe me, I'm stunned that leaving Rudra and Vivian here is the most sensible option [brief laugh track]. Armanie, Camillo and I will return later. You know? Just in case
Camillo: (breathing furiously) Which Camillo?! (All of a sudden, Camillo finds himself outside the house, and the door slams shut behind him. A surprised Camillo turns to Simran, who has a blank expression on her face) [laugh track]. How did you do that?
Armanie: (in his car parked outside the building by the roadside) She's going to be your in-law soon. You'll get used to it [another laugh track]. (Camillo just rolls his eyes as he follows Simran to the car)...

Later...
Jesse, Danny, Rudra, Kelsea, and Vivian are in the living room. This time, they're dressed in their regular clothes. Kelsea is shown staring keenly at Rudra, who's very uncomfortable.
Rudra: You know, Miss Kelsea, you don't have to stare.
Kelsea: (gently twirling Rudra's curly bangs) These bangs are amazing.
Rudra: Thank you. Again.
Vivian: (whispers to Jesse) Is she OK?
Jesse: Don't worry. You'll get used to it [brief laugh track]
Kelsea: (to the others) Honestly, I haven't been with an Indian before for this long.
Danny: No offence, but isn't that a little weird to say?
Kelsea: (clarifies) No, seriously, aside from Miss Simran, and now her gorgeous nephew [brief laugh track], I don't know any other person of Indian heritage
Jesse: What of Sammy? We were all at that movie premiere last year.
Kelsea: No, Sammy is Latinx. I know, the blond hair kinda surprised me, though [brief laugh track]. (Logan and Tracy, on the other hand, are discussing something).
Logan: You know, this year has been sort of crazy. The pandemic, how we ignored it, the lockdown -
Tracy: The legalised social distancing adds, too.
Logan: How is the social distancing legalised?
Tracy: We're in the era of modernised technology. Sadly, the pandemic just made everyone more pathetic than usual [laugh track]
Logan: (shrugs) That's true. (continues) Don't forget the Black Lives we lost this year. (he does a prayer sign) Rest in power, George & Chadwick
Tracy: Things are probably gonna change now. Hopefully, for the best. Look at the bright side.
Logan: The great music played this year?
Tracy: Yes. And you're less crazier than you were before.
Logan: There are other words contrary to crazy that you could use, but thanks for that compliment [laugh track]. (The two hear the doorbell ring. When no one answers the first time, it is rung again. Logan and Tracy enter the living room)
Danny: I'll get it.
Logan: (observes Kelsea and Rudra) This is weird even for me.
Tracy: (annoyed) Kelsea! Stop embarrassing me and ask him out already! Why waste your chances?
Rudra: (expressionless) Cause I'm right here [laugh track].
Vivian: Oh, well. At least things can't get any more weirder. (Danny opens the door. To everyone's surprise, standing at the door are Gerald and Amber. Jesse is the most confused amongst them, but he talks anyway)
Jesse: Dad? Amber? You're back.
Amber: (excitedly) Woah, Jesse! (She hugs Jesse, who's still surprised about their unexpected return). You know, you look much better in your pictures than in real life [brief laugh track]
Tracy: (chuckles) Ha! I tell his dad the same thing. (Gerald and Logan glare at her) I mean, the other dad. Mr Gerald, you are the second hottest after Henry Cavill [laugh track]
Gerald: (shrugs) He really is the handsome [another laugh track]. Jesse, I know we came back unannounced, but there's more. (Stephanie walks in, with a slight change in her physique. Everyone widens their eyes in shock)
Jesse: (stuttering) Mom? What's, what's going on?
Gerald/Stephanie: (in excited unison) We're expecting another baby! (No one responds, clearly in shock. The couple are confused about their hearers' silence) Is everything OK?
Logan: Wow! No one saw that coming. At all.
Vivian: The telenovelas we watch at home need to learn from your family, Jesse [brief laugh track]. (Logan and Tracy go to talk with Jesse's parents. Jesse and Amber turn toward Rudra, Vivian, Danny, and Kelsea)
Jesse: Wow, I don't even know what to say about a new sibling
Rudra: I have a twin sister. I always see her as the surprise kid in our family [laugh track]
Vivian: Unfortunately, Jesse has two of them. The new baby, and Kelsea.
Kelsea: (bluntly) My instincts told me you're savage.
Vivian: They didn't lie [brief laugh track]
Amber: (to Jesse) We can't have a baby sibling now. I just got here, and I haven't annoyed you enough.
Jesse: (sarcastic) Awwn, thanks [brief laugh track]
Danny: (shrugs) You know what they say? (he grins mischievously at Jesse, who's still stunned) Good luck, Jesse! [final laugh track]. (As soon as Danny says those words to an annoyed Jesse, he just looks on at his parents talking with Logan and Tracy. The scene ends abruptly)...