Logan's Version

LV 3 [a lockdown comedy] (scene 19) - Kelsea in the club

The scene opens with Logan's living room in full view, which is empty. Just then, the front door opens, and Camillo walks in. He's seen wearing a black leather jacket, a grey scarf with polka dots, blue chinos, and a pair of black Adidas sneakers. He seems to be going out somewhere with Logan, who is yet to be seen.
Camillo: (announces) I'm here! (There's no response. Instead, he scoffs) Show-offs [laugh track]. (He sits on the big couch)
Jesse: (walks out of his room into the living room, still dressed in pyjamas) Good morning, Mister in-law
Camillo: (sarcastic) Jesse, Vivian doesn't like you anymore. I have a lot of girl cousins.
Jesse: But I like Vivian
Camillo: No, I mean, I have a lot of them. Meaning that I speak fluent girl language [another laugh track]
Jesse: If you speak in fluent girl language, who do you think is supposed to be showing off today?
Camillo: (boldly) Tracy. No one shows off more than her.
Jesse: Yeah, no kidding [brief laugh track]. (Jesse sits beside Camillo and picks up the TV remote. Logan and Tracy walk in, discussing something very important. They don't notice Jesse and Camillo sitting together)
Logan: Nigel will be here any second with Kelsea. And I know it's the pandemic, but Kelsea only needs three invites.
Tracy: Logan, I'm only letting Rhiannon and Danny come over. I'm not inviting up to 10 of her friends only to let Danny and Rhiannon do all the talking like all TV shows. That's a mistake that Camillo would definitely make. (She turns to face Jesse and Camillo, whom she fakes a smile at) Oh, Camillo. I didn't see you there [laugh track]
Camillo: I would rather not show myself so much than be all over the place like you.
Logan: Camillo? Tracy? Kelsea is turning 13. It's a special day for her and the beginning of a journey for her teen years. (ponders) It's ironic that she's starting her teen years on the 30th of September. You both should learn to work together.
Camillo: (stands up) Then why didn't you let me handle Kelsea's invites?
Logan: Tracy dated her cousin, Nigel, so yeah, she knows her better and longer.
Tracy: (to Logan) I also invited Hudson to the party.
Jesse/Logan/Camillo: (horrified) EXCUSE ME?! [laugh track]
Logan: Why would you do that?
Tracy: (confused) Kelsea's an actress. Drama isn't a new thing for her, you know [brief laugh track].
Camillo: Logan, I want to rub in the bad decision you just made. But Tracy is right. What's a high school birthday party without drama?
Tracy: (shrugs) She's turning 13, not 16. The earlier, the better [brief laugh track]. (There is a knock on the door before Logan has a chance to respond. He opens it, and there at the door are Danny and Rhiannon, each holding wrapped gifts. Danny has his usual wide dimpled grin on his face, but Rhiannon looks irritated)
Rhiannon: Mr Logan, no offence, but what were you thinking? If Hudson shows up here, Kelsea will be furious!
Logan: Nice to meet you, too. I didn't know "Good Morning" sounds different in your hometown [brief laugh track]. Danny, if you're upset, why are you smiling?
Danny: (still grinning) I think my brain glitched again. I might be frozen, but I'm just as terrified as everyone here. We all know I'm the comic relief of the group. (The two walk in as Logan closes the door)
Jesse: Danny, nothing you do gives comic relief. Your grandma had 2 heart attacks in a row just because you suggested going skydiving - from your roof [another laugh track]
Tracy: We're just overreacting. Nigel and Kelsea will be here any minute, so will Hudson. We have to do everything possible to make sure nothing goes wrong on her birthday. I have a feeling this party will be small, but worth it...

An hour later, Kelsea, Nigel, Danny, Jesse, Rhiannon, and Camillo are sitting on the couch in the living room in complete silence and awkwardness. They exchange random glances at one another [laugh track]
Camillo: (Finally breaks silence) OK. I can't take it anymore! Tracy is such a liar! (He stands up, clearly irritated) She said it will be fun, but she obviously doesn't know fun when she sees it.
Danny: (bluntly) Forget Tracy. Hudson is on the way, and Kelsea hasn't said a thing.
Nigel: Kelsea, say something. It's just a month to Halloween, and you're trying to beat Michael Myers to winning the creepily quiet award of the century [brief laugh track]
Jesse: (observes Kelsea, who's just sitting still without moving an inch) You're missing one point, Michael Myers breathes [another laugh track]
Rhiannon: Kelsea, I know you're not upset with me, but say something.
Camillo: Rhiannon? You know Hudson. She's upset with you by connection. (The doorbell rings. Camillo stands up to answer the door). And it just got stronger. (to Rhiannon) Thank you, Bluetooth [laugh track]. (Camillo opens the door, and it turns out to be Hudson in the flesh. Hudson looks at least 13 years old, Caucasian caramel blond hair, and wearing a beanie. He's dressed in a white T-shirt and blue jeans and brown leather boots while holding a small grocery bag. Camillo turns to face the others) Kelsea, you didn't tell us your ex-boyfriend is Canadian. And not because of the beanie [brief laugh track]
Hudson: (grins slightly) Kelsea and I are just friends, Mr Millo. And can I come in?
Camillo: You're the missing plot in this drama.
Jesse: He means yes [brief laugh track].
Camillo: You know Hudson, I have a daughter named Vivian. She could use an extra friend to hang out with
Jesse: What happened to me?
Camillo: (bluntly) You're not Canadian [another unnecessary laugh track]
Nigel: (To Kelsea) Kelsea, I'm here to support you every step of the way. (His phone dings) That's Logan. I'll take you home in a few hours [laugh track]. (Nigel rushes out of the house, and Hudson sits in his place. Kelsea rolls her eyes at her cousin's ironic behaviour. The camera focuses on Hudson and Kelsea)
Hudson: So, Kelsea. It's your birthday.
Camillo: Hudson, now is not the time to quote 50 Cent.
Danny: Who's he?
Jesse: Someone who has way better dollars than playboy wannabe over here [brief laugh track].
Danny/Rhiannon: Jesse?!
Hudson: It's fine. (to Kelsea) Your party is kinda cool. (shrugs) Although you could use a few more people.
Jesse: If that's your way of saying the name "Vivian" in front of Kelsea, then you'd better watch it. Halloween is a month away, and I see you got guts [laugh track amidst applause]
Camillo: (on his phone, but still paying attention to their conversation) Wow, Jesse. Have you been learning comebacks from Logan? Cause it's giving.
Jesse: (smirks) Does that mean I get to see Vivian again?
Camillo: Letting you see Vivian won't happen, Carmichael.
Jesse: (sarcastic) The same thing can happen with Logan, but (scoffs) where are my manners? [brief laugh track]
Camillo: Shady! (grins) You were raised well [another laugh track]
Kelsea: (shrugs) Y'all are overreacting. Hudson and I are cool. (She shoots Hudson a glare) I'm just upset he hasn't paid back the $5 he borrowed from me 2 weeks ago.
Rhiannon: Hudson, pay back her 5 bucks. Camillo: What kind of Canadian are you?!
Hudson: I have 10 bucks to pay her back (he hands the cash back to Kelsea).
Camillo: On second thought, I'll consider your proposal for Vivian.
Jesse: And I could get Logan to cancel your other job proposal, but what do I know? [laugh track]
Hudson: Happy birthday, Kelsea.
Kelsea: (smiles) Thanks, Hudson. And no, I'm not dating you (Kelsea hugs Hudson briefly, right before Danny suddenly appears between them with a creepy grin)
Danny: (sarcastic) You heard the birthday girl. She's taken [brief laugh track]. (He slowly pushes Hudson towards the door while Jesse opens the door) Party's over! Time to go! See ya never, Hudson. (As soon as Jesse closes the door, the boys face the others).
Rhiannon: (whispers to Kelsea) Talk about birds of a feather. This pair feels threatened by a guy
Jesse: And the other pair got played by the same guy [final laugh track]. (The scene ends with the boys entering the kitchen while Camillo scrolls on his phone to hide his surprise and avoid the glares and gasps on the girls' faces).