Logan's Version

LV 3 [a lockdown comedy] (scene 1) - Acting Pilot

It's early January 2020. Different shots of Denver, Colorado, are shown before the Hilson residence - now Logan's home - is shown in the final shot. Logan is shown wearing a black suit while speaking to someone on his laptop via FaceTime. It turns out to be Mr George, the director.
George: So we're hoping to start wrapping up with filming the final season of the show "Drop Dead Horace" by March. Any ideas for the finale.
Logan: You see, with all seriousness. (He pauses to grab a hamburger from the centre table and takes a big bite. George rolls his eyes). [laugh track] The script for the final episode is almost complete. As they say, [munch] new year, new decade, new beginnings.
George: (watching Logan biting another piece of the burger) Yeah, whoever said that didn't mean every new beginning, though [brief laugh track]. Logan, I appreciate everything you're doing for the success of the series, coupled with your starring role in it. But can you be serious for once?
Logan: I am being serious, sir. (pauses as he grabs a glass of milk and drinks from it) Besides, this is a balanced diet [laugh track].
George: Yeah, but balance your seriousness with your work. You know if this were Zoey -
Logan: (cuts in) OK, with all due respect. I love my sister, but if you compare us for any reason, both good or bad, I'll have no choice but to cancel you and the script as well.
George: I'm sorry, Logan. There's no need to get ticked off at the slightest comparison.
Logan: Now, do you mind me working on this in peace? (Just then, Jesse, now 10 years old, walks in with the suit pants, dressed for school in a blue T-shirt and black sweatpants. He looks both startled and annoyed at the same time)
Jesse: Hi, Mr George.
George: Hey, Jesse. How are you doing? And happy birthday!
Jesse: Thanks, Mr G.
Logan: Jesse, do you mind? I'm in the middle of a serious meeting, and I'm having a balanced diet to top it all [laugh track].
Jesse: Really? If you're so SERIOUS about the meeting, then why doesn't your TOP match with what you're wearing down there.
George: (Clearly irritated) LOGAN! YOU'RE IN YOUR UNDERPANTS AGAIN?! [laugh track]
Logan: (glares at Jesse before turning to George) Mr George, you know very well that my crazy has class! [brief laugh track] (The camera does a full view of what Logan is actually wearing - a black suit with a sleeveless tank top and grey sweatpants. He sets the laptop for George to view properly [laugh track]. George widens his eyes in surprise while Jesse rolls his). See? I'm wearing sweatpants. And in case you're wondering, it's a fashion statement.
George: Sweet Carey! This is awful to look at. Where did you get such unholy inspiration from?! No wonder the camera guy was looking at you funny and not the good kind [laugh track].
Tracy: (runs in through the front door) Jesse, is George live? I came as soon as he called! (glances at Logan and immediately shrieks) Sweet Jesus! This is worse than I saw in the picture [laugh track].
Logan: (turns to George sharply with a serious facial expression) OK, hold up. You screenshot this visual conversation?!
George: (chuckles lightly) Come on, kid. It's not that serious.
Logan: (sassily) Oh, hell, nah. It's BEYOND serious! What are you going to do next? Use it to get what you want, huh?! Use me for fake publicity? WHICH IS IT?!
George: (realizes he's upset) Logan, come on.
Logan: I'm hanging up! (He quickly ends the call and closes the laptop. Tracy and Jesse are beyond surprised at his outbursts)
Tracy: Easy, Logan. Is there something we should know?
Logan: Umm, yeah. It's people like him who's gonna ruin our lives. Why would you record and screenshot our conversation like that?
Jesse: But Mr Logan, if you look at the bright side, at least you weren't dressed in your underpants again like he thought you would, which would've been way worse.
Logan: (stares at Jesse for a while) My bad [laugh track]...

About two hours later, Logan is seen slacking on the couch, eating some random junk food with the laptop closed on the centre table.
Logan: (exhales deeply and smiling) Yes, this is THE LIFE! (Nigel suddenly barges into the living room, startling Logan) GAH!! [Laugh track]
Nigel: (enraged) WILLIAM LOGAN HILSON!!! What in the world did you do?!
Logan: (worried for a while before responding) I'm sorry that was the best I could do at voice acting a horny cat? I mean, "OH, meow. Make me -"
Nigel: (grimaces) Please stop! Don't make me imagine that [laugh track]. What was with the outburst with Mr George? We're this close to wrapping the show, and all you could think of was press and publicity?
Logan: (shrugs) Yeah! If something happens, the next thing you'll see is some random yet very unnecessary and annoying stuff about you that ends up blowing out of proportion.
Nigel: Look, I get it. It's dramatic - like yourself. [brief laugh track] But it doesn't matter afterwards.
Logan: For someone like me, it really doesn't. I don't think you get it, do you?
Tracy: (walks in from the kitchen) Good thing you're here, Nigel. My acting career and my job as his manager are both at stake here.
Logan: Your acting career? Sure. But don't lie about acting as my manager, cause you're doing a pretty terrible job [laugh track].
Tracy: Logan, it's me. You should know by now that it's hard for me to pretend to be your manager. Two of us can never work together [laugh track]
Nigel: Yeah, but we don't have a choice here, do we? (He sits beside Logan) What should be done for you to get back on track with Mr George?
Logan: Simple, help me delete the picture. You and Tracy.
Tracy/Nigel: (sarcastic) Totally. [brief laugh track]
Logan: Y'all are jokers! (He stands up to leave)
Tracy: OK, fine! We'll talk to George to delete the screenshot.
Logan: Finally, the one time you decide to work as my manager!
Tracy: (twirls with her hair) Like I said, it's not easy juggling two jobs.
Logan: Which you are both terrible at! [laugh track]
Nigel: Besides, talking to Mr George is easy cake, like taking candy from a baby.