Logan's Version

Logan's Version 2 (scene 5) - Denver's Harry

Logan and Zoey are sitting on the living room couch; they are busy on their phones...
Zoey: (scrolling on her phone) Wow, is it just me, or is "2 broke boys" starting to get the recognition it doesn't deserve? [laugh track]
Logan: Well, the TV show is called 2 broke girls. And the band kinda ripped off of its name, resulting in a back and forth feud with the producers [laugh track]. But Mikey is in the band, we should be happy for him.
Zoey: I am. I just wish he was still around sometimes. He was a great manager.
Logan: (confused) I thought Anne was YOUR manager.
Zoey: No, Anne's my friend and MY former manager. Mikey's OUR manager/friend and driver, which we both know he was terrible at [laugh track].
Logan: Like that road trip?
Zoey: And the wedding?!
Logan: And the paparazzi incident! How could I forget? I didn't forgive Trevor for putting us in such a bad place at the time [brief laugh track]
Zoey: You did put Trevor in a bad place - the garage [laugh track]
Logan: (wonders for a while) Hold on, why did you have 2 managers and I had only Mikey?
Zoey: (bluntly) Because I'm the famous one [laugh track] (She continues to scroll on her phone. While Logan tries to get the point of her statement, Jesse walks in with smiles on his face)
Jesse: Morning, Liam! And Miss Zoey! (happily faces the two) Have you ever wondered what your day would be like, and it comes to you like a vision in your mind, as a guide to your day?
Logan: (rolls his eyes) What do you want, Jesse? We don't have all day.
Jesse: I want to know what it would be like for a vision to guide your day. And I need your help to achieve that!
Zoey: Why didn't you just say so?
Jesse: So you'll help me?
Logan/Zoey: (bluntly) No [laugh track].
Jesse: (stares straight ahead, frozen in a trance-like state. His right pupil suddenly glows green. The camera does a close-up of this eye, followed by a speeding green wave of light. It opens to show a furious Danny staring at him)
[Danny: Now, all we need to do is convince everyone that Harry's coming, which is where you "come in." (frowns a little) You better not mess this up, Carmichael, or I'll end you!]
(The vision closes, followed by the green wave and finally a close-up of Jesse's eye and face).
Jesse: (with a smirk on his face) You should help me because we are going to see someone popular today.
Logan: Ana De Armas?
Jesse: No.
Zoey: Miles Brown?
Jesse: Try again.
Logan: Ross Lynch?
Jesse: How are the only people in your head actors? There are a ton of popular people out there!
Logan: Does Mikey count?
Jesse: Absolutely not [laugh track]. (Tracy walks in with Danny, holding a big nylon bag)
Tracy: We're back from shopping, and it turns out the ice cream we got was totally free for the whole of the day.
Zoey: (looks at Tracy in disbelief) You didn't take Danny to the store, just so you can get a "free kid's ice cream," did you?
Tracy: (gasps) Zoey, I would never. Don't you know me anymore?
Logan: She doesn't, but I do. And that counts as something you would do [brief laugh track]
Tracy: (sassily) What a coincidence. Your opinion also never counts [laugh track]
Danny: (takes Jesse to a side of the living room. His face is full of excitement) You will not believe what I found out. Harry Styles is in Denver for the weekend for a mini tour! We should totally attend.
Jesse: (widens eyes in disbelief) Really?! That was my vision! You mentioned Harry was going to be around. (happily) Let's go tell everyone. (The two boys return to meet the adults)
Danny: Everyone, we have GREAT NEWS!
Jesse: I found out from someone and somewhere that Harry Styles is gonna be at Denver this weekend! Awesome, right?!
Zoey: Really?! That's amazing!
Logan: (sits up, happiness written all over his face) HARRY'S COMING TO DENVER?!
Danny: Yeah!
Logan: HARRY'S COMING TO DENVER?! [laugh track]
Tracy: Yes, bird brain. Did you not hear them?
Zoey: Oh, don't worry yourself. When Logan's over excited, he tends to repeat the good news he received. (pause) Wait for it.
Logan: (repeats) HARRY'S COMING TO DENVER?!
Zoey: He said it thrice. He's OK now! [laugh track] But this is amazing. In case I get to meet him, I'll get a quick selfie and hope he makes an appearance in my movie project.
Logan: (exhales) While I finally get to meet Harry for real. What should I do? And what will I wear? Do I try to sound British? (with a British accent) To sound mate-y, innit? [brief laugh track]
Tracy: For starters, don't sound like a desperate parrot [laugh track]
Zoey: Haha, very funny, Tracy. (turns to Logan) But really, Logan, put yourself together. You look like a Walmart version of yourself [laugh track] (almost immediately, Trevor and Drea run into the living room)
Trevor: (out of breath) Tracy, what were you thinking trying to get free ice cream with Danny? It wasn't even Special Sunday yet.
Tracy: Special Sundae?
Drea: No, Sunday. The next three days!
Zoey: (gasps and mocks) My, Tracy. How did you ever? [laugh track]
Danny: How about we pretend we couldn't read it?
Tracy: (agrees) You heard Potter. We couldn't read it [laugh track] (Everyone rolls their eyes at Tracy and Danny, who give each other thumbs up for everyone buying their "story").

Later, Jesse, Drea, and Danny are talking about the weekend Harry tour in Logan's room.
Drea: Jesse, remember. You have to start preparing Mr. Logan for the meet and greet tour. We can not afford to lose this golden opportunity.
Jesse: Don't you mean "me" because "me" is going with Logan.
Danny: Exactly. You get an autograph one of your books, and then, you show us, so we have a photocopy each [laugh track]
Drea: (surprised) Wow, that is very brilliant and so not like you, Danny. That's a pretty good plan.
Danny: Really? (beams) That means that the race car I saw two weeks ago should definitely be driven, right?
Drea: (to Jesse) And he's back [laugh track].
Trevor: (enters the room with Tracy. They both have worried looks on their faces) Bad news, kids. Turns out it wasn't Harry Styles visiting, but Harry Potter.
Jesse: (alarmed) How is that even possible?
Tracy: I dunno who gave you that news, but wow, that person obviously doesn't know how to read. (Drea and Jesse give Danny cold glares) [laugh track]
Drea: (glaring at a worried Danny) What a coincidence! The same thing happened with the "Sunday" today [another laugh track]
Jesse: We can't tell Liam and Zoey about this.
Tracy: It won't be a good experience. Unless -
Danny: I like where this is heading.
Tracy: (smirks) We have a fake Harry show up here in Denver.
Trevor: (scoffs) Where are we going to find a fake Harry in 2 days? (He pauses but soon feels an uncomfortable silence. Tracy and the kids smirk at him; he realizes what they're planning and widens his eyes in fear) [brief laugh track] It's not going to happen.
Jesse: You have Harry's smile.
Tracy: And dimples.
Danny: You're just as tall.
Trevor: (adds) And can't sing (he turns to leave, but Tracy drags him back)
Drea: No, you can sing. You just did when you were trying to convince the cashier I wasn't your cousin [laugh track]
Tracy: You're a perfect decoy. And Jesse will help out to introduce you. Cuz Logan always listens to Jesse.
Danny: (turns to Jesse) Exactly. Now, all we need to do is convince everyone that Harry's coming, which is where you "come in." (frowns a little) You better not mess this up, Carmichael, or I'll end you! [laugh track]
Jesse: (realizes) That's what you meant?! (Faces the others) I'm in. All we need to do is get Trevor dressed as Harry tonight.
Tracy: (smirks) Yeah, it shouldn't be that hard. Harry's quite shy, and Trevor is a good actor. So... (twirls Trevor's hair) I know how this is going to work...
Trevor: (gulps) Sweet Lord [laugh track]...

10 minutes later...
Trevor is dressed in an orange hoodie, sunglasses, grey sweatpants, and Nike sneakers. Tracy and the kids behold their masterpiece and smile, impressed with what they have created. However, Trevor does NOT look excited about it.
Drea: (nods her head) Impressive!
Tracy: Chef's kiss!
Jesse: No one will realize you're not Harry.
Drea: They won't be back for 2 more hours. That gives us enough time to set up everything.
Danny: (beaming for no reason) Hey, Harry [laugh track] (The others face Danny in confusion).
Trevor: Danny, you know I'm not really Harry Styles.
Danny: (now confused) You're not Harry? (annoyed) You monster! [brief laugh track]
Tracy: (turns to Jesse) Hey, Logan's kid. In the near future, remind me to borrow glasses from Daniel Radcliffe. It seems our Daniel here might need it more than he does [laugh track].
Jesse: Definitely. (smirks victoriously) Operation Harry Meets Logan is a GO!
Trevor: (protests) Yeah, this will absolutely not work. Why won't you all just listen to me? This makeover is awful! Do you even care about what I think?
Tracy/Jesse/Drea/Danny: No [laugh track]
Tracy: (tries to clarify) Look at it this way. The makeover is what makes you beautiful (the others stare at her for her cringe comment). [brief laugh track] (She rolls her eyes and snarls) Oh, please. If we went with the other look, he'd look like two ghosts (the others murmur in agreement) [another laugh track]
Trevor: Now, can we get this over with?
Drea: Because you want to do it?
Trevor: No, 'Cause Danny over there isn't going to let me live this down. (Danny is on Logan's bed, furiously holding a cardboard with the words "RETURN HOME TO CAROLINA, U IMPOSTER!". Coincidentally, his white T-shirt has the words "YOU'RE A SWEET CREATURE - NOT!" spray-painted on it). [Laugh track] You lied! (They all stare at Danny, who is genuinely offended for no reason)
Jesse: (annoyed) Great, just one time I invite "Harry" over, and now everyone is using Harry puns! And worse, it's not even Harry! (Jesse leaves the room in frustration) [laugh track].
Tracy: (whispers to Trevor) Let's leave quickly, before he throws a kiwi at you [laugh track and applause] (Tracy, Trevor, and Drea also leave the room as well. Oddly enough, Danny brings out a kiwi fruit from nowhere).
Danny: (shrugs) Man, good thing I got this for free [brief laugh track]. (He drops the cardboard and throws the kiwi in a random direction as he leaves the room; the kiwi breaks shatters glass offscreen. The scene ends immediately).