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7

Flashback

Meredith was in the ICU after a very long surgery. Mark and Addison were sitting with her

She would never walk again, that's what they were told. She would never be able to chase her daughter again or stand on her own in surgery.

"Finn died.." Addison whispered, crawling in her husband's arms

"And Mer's paralyzed.. How can she go on from this?" Mark wished they'd wake up from this sick dream, but it was reality

"Mark-" Addison started sobbing in her husband's arms. "That scar on her back, she'll hate it so much."

"I wanna fix it for her.. I promise I did my best." He teared up but the damage from the crash was so extended

"I'm so glad she's alive." Addison muttered

End of flashback

Meredith was laying down on her side, watching through the window as she saw Ellis and Mark playing together

She felt horrible for what happened earlier but she just couldn't. She didn't wanna see herself in that wheelchair, with her body that was completely different and without her husband by her side

Suddenly she was pulled out of her thoughts as she heard a knock on the door

"Yes?" Meredith dried her tears but didn't bother to sit up

"Hey, I saw Mark and Ellie were playing outside, don't you wanna come?" He asked her. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." Meredith shrugged

"You don't sound fine." Derek walked up to her, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Don't- Not on that side." Meredith said sternly as he sat on Finn's side

Derek nodded and walked to the other side, he could now see her tearstained face

"I'm sorry." He placed his hand on her shoulder

"I'm disappointing my daughter." Meredith suddenly muttered

"No Meredith, I don't believe that. That girl loves you so much and looks up to everything you do." Derek frowned, not understanding what Meredith was talking about

"I didn't wanna take pictures with her, just because I can't deal with myself. She cried, and instead of just- just pushing through-" Meredith shook her head, hating herself for this

"She's little, she will understand one day. But honestly.. I hope you see yourself like I see you, Meredith. Like Mark and Addie see you."

Meredith remained quiet, her friends had had this talk a lot with her

"There's so much more, Derek. There's so much she wants to know but I can't tell her, she believes in princesses and fairies. That day three lives were affected." Meredith teared up, for the first time she was able to talk about this

"She'll ask those questions anyway." He sighed

"I can't tell a five year old how her father got killed by a drunk driver.. And that it's why I look like this!" Meredith sobbed

"To her, and to many others, you are absolutely perfect." Derek wrapped his arm around her to comfort her. "And no, but she will ask questions.. you won't be able to hide it forever."

"I moved forward.. I am raising my child, I'm back to operating, I'm doing as much as I can.. But I can't stand to look at myself." She sighed, disappointed in herself

"Would you wanna try to take a picture with her? Mark and I can help to make it just perfect. And you are in control?" Derek suggested softly

"I don't know how, Derek. It's always visible." She sighed, staring at her own legs. A long time ago she had slapped them, she had begged them to work, but she knew better. She knew she'd never walk again

"What about you two just sit down together in the grass?" Derek suggested

"To point out I can't walk." Meredith sighed

"Not at all. Wanna try?" Derek offered. "Put on something that matches Ellie's dress and wash your face, okay? We'll wait outside."

It helped that Derek was so determined. He left and Meredith watched through the window as he told Ellis he had a surprise. She saw her daughter jumping up and down in excitement

Meredith convinced herself to get up and force herself to get through this

She got changed into some baggy jeans and a white shirt and wheeled out to the garden

Ellis was hesitant, she was still sad

"I think mommy's ready now to join the photoshoot." Derek smiled proudl

"Mama? That true?" Ellis asked, holding onto Mark's hand

"Yeah." Meredith took a deep breath

"I think the two of you in the grass, what do you think?" Derek suggested

"Yes mama!" Ellis giggled and waited for her mom

Mark lifted her out of her wheelchair and placed her on the grass. Meredith fixed her leg and made sure it wouldn't look weird, the baggy jeans helping with this

Ellis went to sit in Meredith's lap and the two of them smiled for the pictures

"Now uncle Mark can sit down, he's the third princess." Derek joked, causing Meredith and Ellis to both start laughing

Derek snapped some pictures and smiled at how natural the picture looked. He walked up to Meredith and showed her

"See, I see two beautiful girls." He said, squeezing her shoulder

"Thanks Derek." Meredith smiled softly

"Mama!! I luf it!" Ellis checked the picture

...

A few hours later Meredith, Mark and Derek were chilling on the couch. Ellis was laying down for a nap as playing had been extremely exhausting

"Anyone who wants something to drink?" Mark asked

"Another cup of tea would be nice." Meredith smiled.

"I'm fine." Derek said and they watched Mark take off

"Thank you for earlier." Meredith turned to face Derek

"I'm glad I could help." Derek smiled

By the time Mark returned Meredith was struggling to get herself comfortable

"Something up?" Mark asked her

"My neck is bothering me, I just wanna lay down a bit." She groaned

"Here, I'll help." Mark said and stuffed some pillows behind her

"I hope that'll do, thanks."