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4

Flashback

"I was thinking.. What about a second baby?" Finn turned to face Meredith

"Really?" Meredith's eyes started sparkling

"Yes Meri. I'd love to expand our little family."

"I would love to have another baby with you." Meredith chuckled as they were driving home.

Finn and Meredith were on their way back home after they went out for dinner. They had been talking the whole evening while Mark and Addison were watching little Ellis

"I'm so tired but I don't want this evening to end." Meredith squeezed his hand softly

"Me neither, I think we should-" Finn said and suddenly they heard a loud crash. Meredith closed her eyes, she felt an insane pain ripping through her back, her head flew against the side and they had no idea what happened

A car drove right into Finn's side, making them tumble of the road against a tree

Meredith winced and started to realize what had happened. She was in an insane amount of pain and turned to face her husband

"Finn?" She called out for him. "Finn, please answer me!"

But nothing..

"Finn?!" Meredith almost yelled, she wanted to turn in the seat, only for her to realize she couldn't feel a thing below her chest. "Finn? Please answer me! Please! Please!" Meredith begged, starting to sob, sudddenly hearing her husband's voice

"M-Meri-" He muttered

She knew she had to keep her spine straight but turned her head to face her husband. She knew it wasn't good, she saw his body disappear underneath the crooked metal

"Finn, no!" She whimpered

"I- I love y-you a-and El.." He muttered

"No Finn, you don't get to do this! Finn!" Meredith screamed but he didn't answer again

End of flashback

Meredith gasped, pushing herself up as she was almost screaming by now

"Mer, calm down." Mark held her tight in his arms, trying to massage her neck around the large scar that ran down her neck and spine as these nightmares usually resulted in physical discomfort

"Finn- He died- He died-" She gasped for air

"Shh, take deep breaths. You're okay. You're okay." Mark did his best to make her calm down, pulling her against his chest

"I miss him, Mark. I miss him so much." She cried

"I'm really sorry, Mer." Mark kissed the top of her head

"It's not fair that I'm alive and he isn't. He should be here to see Elie grow up! It's not fair!" Meredith cried

Mark held her in his arms as she literally cried herself to sleep. His heart broke as he saw his best friend like this, knowing how heartbroken she was but also struggled with bad PTSD and survivor's guilt

"Mama?" Ellis walked inside Meredith's room

"Monkey-" Meredith dries her tears and composed herself.

"You otay?" The little girl asked as she hugged her stuffy close against her chest

"Of course, come lay down with me, monkey." She muttered, squeezing Mark's hand softly