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35

"Finn?! Finn!"

Meredith was stuck in the wreck, her husband had just told her he loved them and now she couldn't hear him. She moved her head despite the horrible pain in her back and neck. His whole body was covered in blood, glass covering his lap

"Finn.. Finn, please!" She begged him

"Meredith??"

Meredith!" Derek woke her up, seeing her in complete distress

"F-Finn.." Meredith whimpered

"I think you were having a bad dream.." Derek stroke her hand over her head softly

"Sorry-" She gasped, realizing what had happened, scooting away from Derek

"Are you okay? Can I hug you?" He carefully asked

"I- I don't know-" Meredith was panting for air. "It was just a dream, it was just a dream." She told herself and suddenly Mark ran into her room

"You're okay. You're okay." He held her, hugging her tight

Derek noticed she pinched her leg. He saw how hopeful she looked as she pinched her leg as hard as she possibly could, her fingers trembling from the effort but she didn't feel anything and he watched all hope disappear, her eyes dull, her hands trembling and sobs wrecking through her body

"Easy-" Mark held her as her sobs calmed down, realizing this was a nightmare

Derek took her hand and squeezed it, seeing how the skin on her leg started to change color already

"You're safe, do you want some water?" Derek offered, not sure what to say

Meredith nodded softly, absolutely exhausted after what had just happened

"I'll be back in a minute." Derek went to grab a cold bottle of water, knowing she prefers it cold instead

After a minute he returns and hands it over to her, he watches how she took the bottle with trembling hands and drank some water before closing it and placing the bottle down in her lap

Derek saw how Mark was rubbing her neck after Meredith kept stretching out her back and neck, not really succeeding

"It's okay, you're safe." He kissed the top of her head

"Sorry this happened." Meredith looked down, feeling awful for waking them up

"Don't be sorry." Mark softly said, guiding her down

"Can I cuddle you?" Derek carefully asked, not wanting to overstep

"Y-Yes." She nodded sadly, but loving the feeling when Derek wrapped his arms around her, holding her close

"Are you calming down?" Meredith stroke his fingers through her hair, suddenly moving over the scar on her neck

"Yeah.." She nodded, absolutely drained

Mark left quietly as he saw she was safe in Derek's arms, he would never leave her if she wasn't safe and calm

"It must have been horrible, all you've been through. But I want you to know you can always talk to me but if you need some space you need to tell me as well." Derek whispered, adjusting the blanket covering them

"I really appreciate, Der.. I just- I don't know how much you know about the accident and my spinal cord injury." Meredith admitted, opening her eyes and looking straight into his

"I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me anything. I know you got paralyzed in that accident, I don't need to know more if you're not ready to tell me."

"I wanna tell you.. I'm just scared." She admitted

"Why?" Derek frowned

"I saw how much it broke Addison and Mark to learn more about the accident. Often people tend to pity me and- I don't want you to treat me any differently." She said

"I won't treat you any differently, and I know how much you can do, you're completely independent and a mother, Mer. I won't pity you." He kissed her head

"Finn and I were on our way home.. We were actually talking about a second baby." She smiled as she thought back about it, this was the first time she would tell anyone the full story, not the 'I got in a car crash that paralyzed me' short story

Meredith took a deep breath before she continued

"Suddenly a car crashed into us, I didn't realize right away. I woke up after a little while and tried to call out for Finn. He didn't reply until a bit later. I immediately knew something bad was up, he said he loved us and- and that's the last thing he ever said. He passed away next to me." Meredith said calmly, her voice shaking a little

Derek remained quiet, giving her time and space to explain

"I knew something was up with my back or legs, but I moved anyway.. I maybe could have prevented this all.." Meredith sighed

"You know it was probably already severed since it was a complete break.." Derek just wanted to remind her to not be too hard on herself

"I know. And all I could think off was being afraid that Ellis was gonna grow up on her own.. Then I was glad she wasn't with us.." Meredith muttered. "Ben rescued me, he confirmed that Finn had passed away, it was horrible to sit there, hearing how they cut open the roof to help us out.. Sitting next to Finn.. while he.."

Derek softly watched her as a tear slipped down her cheek

"I don't remember that much of what happened afterwards. I went into shock, I remember waking up after surgery with Addie and Mark.. They told me I was paralyzed. My seat just folded, breaking my back pretty high, also leaving me with some neck stuff. They went in, were able to repair my neck but my spinal cord had just been ripped apart." She shrugged

"I'm so glad they were with you." Derek kidded her head again

"Me too. God, they did so much for me and Ellie." Meredith smiled softly, she was so grateful for them

"But you didn't share a house with them yet?" Derek asked

"No.. My old house.. It had so many steps and stairs.. It was impossible. But this house was from my mother, Addie and Mark already rented it from us. They were amazing and renovated it without me even knowing. I only realized by the time I finished rehab and they told me I had to go home. I was aware that i'd go live in my mother's house but what they did.. I'll have to show you the old pictures." Meredith yawned

"Thanks for telling me." Derek said

"Hmm.. Thanks for being here." Meredith said and fell asleep in his arms