Forbidden Fruit (Travis Kelce)

Into you

Arianna

I've probably written over fifty songs about Travis. Each one sadder than the last. But after every song, I still love him. I can't just turn my heart off. When I was in Kansas City for Christmas, I wanted so badly to go see him, to just go back to how things were, but I can't trust him.

So here I am, renting a house in Malibu and hiding out in the United States. It's nighttime, and sleep eludes me. I can't believe it's been a month since I last saw Travis. Things were so different a month ago. I miss him so much in every way, especially how he made me feel sexually.

I decide to make some popcorn and pour myself a glass of wine. I turn on "Desperate Housewives," hoping to numb my mind. But as I watch, I can't help but think about Travis—his muscular body, his perfect... everything. I finish the bottle of wine, feeling the effects of the alcohol dulling my senses.

I sit by the piano, my fingers hovering over the keys. The words and melody flow out of me effortlessly, capturing the intense longing and desire I feel.

I'm so into you, I can barely breathe
And all I wanna do is to fall in deep
But close ain't close enough 'til we cross the line, hey yeah
So name a game to play and I'll roll the dice, hey

Oh baby, look what you started
The temperature's rising in here
Is this gonna happen?
Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move
Before I make a move

So, baby, come light me up, and, baby, I'll let you on it
A little bit dangerous, but, baby, that's how I want it
A little less conversation and a little more "touch my body"
'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you
Got everyone watchin' us, so, baby, let's keep this secret
A little bit scandalous, but, baby, don't let them see it
A little less conversation and a little more "touch my body"
'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you (Ooh, yeah)

This could take some time, hey
Made too many mistakes
Better get this right, right, baby

Oh, baby, look what you started
The temperature's rising in here
Is this gonna happen?
Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move
Before I make a move

So, baby, come light me up, and, baby, I'll let you on it
A little bit dangerous, but, baby, that's how I want it
A little less conversation and a little more "touch my body"
'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you
Got everyone watchin' us, so, baby, let's keep this secret
A little bit scandalous, but, baby, don't let them see it
A little less conversation and a little more "touch my body"
'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you, oh yeah
('Cause I'm so into you)

Tell me what you came here for?
'Cause I can't, I can't wait no more
I'm on the edge with no control
And I need, I need you to know
You to know, oh, whoa, yeah

So, baby, come light me up (Light me up), and, baby, I'll let you on it
A little bit dangerous (Dangerous), but, baby, that's how I want it (How I want it)
A little less conversation and a little more "touch my body"
'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you
Got everyone watchin' us (Watchin' us), so, baby, let's keep this secret
A little bit scandalous (Scandalous), but, baby, don't let them see it (Yeah)
A little less conversation and a little more "touch my body"
'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you

So come light me up
So come light me up, my baby
Little dangerous
A little dangerous, my boy (How I want it)
A little less conversation and a little more "touch my body"
'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you
(I'm so into you)

As I finish the song, tears stream down my face.

I look around at the stack of songs I've written. So many of them are about Travis. Songs that are too personal to share with the world, like "I Hate Boston (Renee Rapp),"Poison Poison (Renee Rapp)," "The wedding song" (Renee Rapp), "Resentment" (Beyoncé) and "I Wish I Hated You  (Ariana Grande). Those will remain mine, private reflections of my heartbreak. But others, like "Please Please Please (Sabrina Carpenter)," "Bad Idea (Ariana Grande)," "What I Was Made For (Billie Eilish)," "Make Up (Ariana Grande)," "The Boy is Mine (Ariana Grande)," "Off the Table (Ariana Grande)" featuring The Weeknd, "Houdini (Dua Lipa)," "Training Season (Dua Lipa)," "NASA (Ariana Grande)," "Motive (Ariana Grande)" featuring Doja Cat, and "Shut Up (Ariana Grande)," will go on the album. They tell my story, our story, in a way that feels honest yet not too vulnerable.

After the going through the songs I thought writing would ease my mind, but it didn't. My mind is racing with thoughts of Travis. I pour another glass of wine, trying to calm my nerves, and turn back to "Desperate Housewives." But it's no use. My mind keeps drifting to him, to us, to what could be.