Will he be forgiven? JLS story

Part 31

So just to clarify parts 25, 26, 27 and 28 were all a dream/nightmare. Then in part 29 Jessica woke up. Aston still sent those messages to Abbie whilst they were on their date at the zoo but he didn’t cheat on her again.

Normal POV

I was sitting at my desk in the studio just fiddling with the pen in my hands. I haven’t been able to do any work since I have gotten in. That dream well nightmare is imprinted into my mind. I keep replaying it in my mind; it’s my worst fear, Aston cheating on me again. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m over the moon that that was all a dream but he still sent them messages to Abbie and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t understand why he done it, he keeps telling me that he loves me but yet he keeps on breaking my heart all over again. I don’t deserve this but I don’t think I will be able to live without him, I’ve tried before and ended up depressed for weeks, I don’t want to put myself or anyone else through that again. No one knew what to do with me, I had shut everyone out, I wouldn’t speak to anyone until my mum forced herself into my flat and talked some sense into me. I hadn’t had any boyfriends in the time I wasn’t with Aston I mean I went on a few dates but I kept on comparing them to him.

Today I have an appointment with JLS and I don’t really know what to do. After I woke up from my nightmare last night I didn’t actually get back to sleep I just laid there thinking about everything, therefore I got about 4 hours sleep and am absolutely shattered.

I want to talk well shout at him but I really can’t be bothered. If he doesn’t want to be with me I would rather he just told me so I can just get on with my life without him. Yeah I would be heartbroken but I would rather now because at the minute I just feel like I’m part of a game he’s playing. No one should have to feel like this.

I walked into the meeting room where I have just been informed that JLS are waiting for me. “You alright boys?” I plastered a smile on my face whilst avoiding any eye contact with Aston because if I looked him in the eyes I think I may actually cry. They all got up and hugged me one by one, Aston was first. I was planning on avoiding this situation but he was obviously thinking otherwise. He gave me a tight hug and whispered ‘I’m sorry’ into my ear. He pulled away and flashed me a small smile which sent my hurt thumping through the roof. Next was JB then Reesh who just gave me normal hugs and sent me apologetic smiles. They knew. Aston must have told them what had happened and I knew that they would be on my side. Last was Marvin he pulled me into a tight hug. ‘Thank-you’ he said into my ear. Now I’m totally confused. I pulled out of the hug and sent him a confused look which just caused him to giggle. ‘For sticking with him after everything. He really does love you he just has a funny way of showing it’ he explained. He loved me? My heart was so confused. The more I thought about everything he has done the more I thought the statement I love you was untrue, you don’t hurt the person you love the way he has hurt me.

I had finished with my meeting with the boys about 10 minutes ago; I was now getting my things from my desk so I could go home. I haven’t got any more appointment throughout the rest of the day so there isn’t really much point me being here. Plus Arthur can handle it if anyone comes in without an appointment.

I was walking to my car when I heard someone shouting my name and I knew exactly who it was. Aston. I kept on walking hoping I would get to my car before he caught up with me. Unfortunately for me I didn’t. “Jessica” he said as he held onto my arm to stop me from walking off. He was now stood next to me trying to catch his breath; it was obvious he had run to catch up with me. I just stood there not really knowing what to do; I couldn’t run because one he would catch me and two he had held of my arm. But I also didn’t really know what to say I was sort of trying to avoid this situation because well I was afraid of what he was going to say. Once he had caught his breath back he started to talk. “Jessica, I’m sorry for everything I have done but please can we just talk about this before you decide to give up on me” he pleaded. I could see in his eyes how much he did actually love me but Marvin was right he did have a very strange way of showing it. “Okay” I sighed. I did need to hear him out. I needed to know why he did it because if I didn’t it would bug me for the rest of my life. You could see the happiness in his eyes once I had agreed to hear him out. “Come back to mine, I’m too tired to go anywhere” I said before turning on my heels and got in my car without hearing him reply.

We were now sitting on the sofa in my flat. Neither of us have said anything since he got here which was at least 5 minutes ago. I just wanted to get this conversation out of the way. “Aston your here to talk, so talk” I said without making eye contact because I knew I could forget what we were here to talk about, his eyes could do that to you. He moved so he was facing me across the sofa and grabbed hold of my hands and entwined our fingers together. “Okay... well urmm” he stuttered. “Aston either talk or get out” I huffed. I’m not in the mood to play any more of his stupid games. “Right okay sorry, urmm well I don’t really know how you’re going to take this... but the only reason I replied to Abbie is because well urmm” Aston said but he didn’t actually finish his sentence he just put his head in his hands as if he was ashamed in what he was about to say. “What Aston?” I frowned. I wanted to know. “I haven’t done anything with a woman in over a month” he mumbled into his hands. Ha. He had no willpower what so ever. As soon as that statement left his mouth I burst out laughing but it all made sense, he went from being a player who had sex every night with a different women to a not having sex what so ever because he was trying to me back. “What’s so funny?” he smiled clearly finding it amusing that even when I’m supposed to be pissed off with him I am laughing my head off. “You have no willpower what so ever” I giggled. “I do” he frowned. “You don’t” “I do” “Aston you don’t because you’re barely succeeding going without sex for a month” I argued. “Okay fair point” he sighed. He knew that no matter what he said he would not win.

Me and Aston have been talking for the past hour. We have talked about Abbie and the relationship they have. Aston has told me that he doesn’t feel anything for Abbie she was just a bit of meaningless sex to take his mind off me. And as for the texting at the zoo he told me that he was finding it difficult not being in a sexual relationship for such a long time so at this minute I was helping him relieve some of that stress. I don’t know why because he has hurt me but I seem to find him irresistible. I don’t even completely know if I can even trust him so why am I doing this? There is only one answer and it’s because I love him.

Therefore that is why I’m currently laid in bed next to him naked. I think that that may have been our best session of making love EVER! I love this man I really did. “Babe that was amazing” Aston said whilst trying to catch his breath back. “I know” I giggled breathing heavily. “I love you” he smiled whilst rolling over so he was facing me. I think I loved him but at the moment I just couldn’t bring myself to say it back. “Babe that’s usually the point you say I love you too” he laughed which caused me to sigh I thought I was gonna get away with that one. “I know but well I do love you but you have sort off knocked my trust back” I whispered. “I know I have and I’m sorry” he said as he pulled me onto his chest and stroked my hair calming me down. We must have laid like that for at least 10 minutes before he shot out of bed with a massive grin on his face. “What you doing?” I questioned. I was quite comfy to be honest but now I’m cold. “I’m gonna get your trust back. I will text you tomorrow. I love you baby girl” he explained before leaving a soft kiss on my lips and leaving. Urgh That man was so confusing. But at least he doesn’t need to go running back to Abbie now like he did in my dream right?

I grabbed my phone of the side. ‘In need of a night out. Fancy meeting me now? Xxxx’

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