Taming The Heart (Silvero Series #05)

40

Chapter 40: Live

2 Months Later...

Do you know what it feels like to be genuinely happy thinking that life is finally giving you a reason to continue living? When do you finally find a reason to stand again and continue fighting after you have fallen many times?

It feels great.

It feels... Surreal.

Until the day came and everything went back to zero again. The darkness. The hopelessness.

Bakit kaya gano'n, 'no? Kung kailan nakahanap ka na ng rason para patuloy na lumaban, tsaka ka bibigyan ng rason para sumuko ulit. Para panghinaan ng loob.

Alam kong maraming tao riyan na grabe pa ang pinagdadaanan sa buhay kesa sa akin. Pero hindi ko mapigilang kwestyunin ang sarili ko.

Wala ba talaga akong karapatang sumaya? Wala ba akong karapatang mamuhay nang payapa? Nang malaya?

I just want to be with him. I want to be with everyone. Bakit parang napakahirap naman no'ng ipagkaloob sa akin?

Why do I have to suffer this much? Why do I have to endure all of this? Bakit pa ako binuhay kung papahirapan lang rin naman nila ako ng ganito?

Nanghihina ang katawan, marahan kong iminulat ang aking mga mata. Tulad noong unang beses na dinala nila ako sa isang kwarto, ganoon pa rin ang pwesto ko.

Lying on the cold cemented floor. Both my ankles and wrists were chained. Nakahiga sa sahig, marumi ang damit at na nanakit ang katawan dahil sa sobrang tagal nang pagkakahilata ko rito na parang hayop.

I looked around the four corners of the room, which had both become my world and my prison now. No windows. No bed and chairs. Even a bathroom. Just a single door where they are holding me captive. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung anong oras na. Kung umaga pa rin ba, tanghali o gabi. I can't tell. I can't even see sunlight for days now. And I don't know what's going on outside this room.

I have lost count of time. How long have I been here anyway? Weeks? Months? It doesn't matter anymore. I no longer know what day it is, or what hour. There's no point in counting, anyway.

Sinubukan kong lumunok pero napaingit lang ako sa sakit nito dahil sa tuyo kong lalamunan. Hindi pa nila ako dinadalahan ng maiinom simula kahapon ng umaga. Uhaw na uhaw na ako.

I closed my eyes, calming myself. The silence was deafening. All I could hear was the sound of my own breathing. It was shallow and uneven as if my body was trying to remind me that I was still alive, even though everything inside me felt dead.

The four corners of the room feel too close. It was very suffocating. The air was too thick, as if I'd been sealed in this room not just by the walls, but by the weight of my own fear. No. Am I... Scared? I don't know if I could call it fear... Of rage. Maybe both?

Hindi ko alam kung takot pa ba itong nararamdaman ko o purong galit para sa mga taong gumagawa nito tulad ni Helena at Julio.

Hindi ko alam kung saang lupalop nila ako dinala para mahirapan ang mga tao sa labas na hanapin at i-rescue ako. Ang naaalala ko lang noon ay isinakay nila ako sa isang yate bago tuluyang mawalan ng malay. Pero isa lang ang masasabi ko. Pinaghandaan nilang mabuti ito dahil paniguradong alam nila na hindi madaling kalabanin ang mga Silvero na paniguradong ngayon ay katulong na ng pamilya ko para mahanap ako.