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ROOSTER

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ROOSTER

I was lost for words with what I was seeing I couldn't believe it to be honest..

"ROOSTER!" Ryan moaned. "Why are you back? You aren't supposed to be back!" He held some streamers in his hands and more party decorations hung haphazardly from the walls.

"Uncle Roos!" Jace said as he threw himself against me yelling, almost beside himself with excitement. "We brought cake!"

"Jace!" Katt said sharply. She grinned at me, her face tired but cheerful as always. "Sorry, you weren't supposed to know that until later."

I just gaped, completely speechless. Not just John and Ryan and JC as I'd thought. But others too. Katt with Jace, Fran, Sean, Devin and Ant, Mike. Miranda, Ciara. More people than I'd have thought, more than I'd have expected, all looking very pleased with themselves. This explained the separate cars.

"We were so sure the bar would occupy you for hours," John was saying.

"Who would have guessed you meant it when you said no more drinking," Devin said. He sounded half-reproachful as if he'd taken it personally that my surprise party had fallen flat. And meanwhile Jace was still running in excited circles around me.

As if compelled, my eyes met Jada's where she stood leaning against the kitchen door, watching me. I knew where she'd been all the time, had felt it as if I had developed a sixth sense for her. I tried hard to keep my face impassive but I had the feeling she, more than anyone else in the room, knew how close I really was to losing my composure.

"Alright," she called out lazily. "Might as well get the party started since the birthday boy is here."

As if she'd broken through the confusion that had fallen at my unexpected arrival, everyone rushed forward with hugs and wishes. I found out my daughters was here in the other room sleeping that made me feel even better to know my daugther's was here. Eventually it settled down a bit. Ryan led me to the kitchen table as everyone else settled down through-out the cabin to enjoy themselves.

"What on earth were you thinking, going off by yourself for your birthday?" he scolded. "I was never more shocked when J.C told me." He busied himself with heating what looked like some of his delicious pasta sauce. "Every year you throw a party...and then this year, you take off...lying to us...."

The fear of somehow being unlovable was a monster in the darkness of my life. The sting of rejection with me was the sharp edge of a knife.

"Oh yea" I said looking around the room then back at Ryan.

"And if Jada hadn't suggested surprising you...." Ryan said My head shot around towards Jada. She'd suggested this whole thing? She'd been standing at the end of the kitchen counter getting a salad going. She met my gaze blandly. My eyes slid away, back to Ryan. ".....we'd never have known you were on your own!" He placed the ladle down on the counter with more force than was perhaps necessary.

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