ik yall want angst so im doing the best i can without trigger warnings.. this is hard im sorry these suck 😭
in which colby thinks he's hurting you but you reassure him?
you help yourself into sam and colby's house and notice its quiet... too quiet. you scan around and call for the boys but you don't get a reply.
you get to colby's room and put your stuff down. it wasn't till you went to close the balcony door when you realized colby was out there alone.
his shoulders looked tense and he was looking down. his usual playful self was gone and replaced by a silent presence.
"colby?" you say softly, stepping outside
he doesent respond right away. his gaze locked at the night sky. but when he finally turns to you, there's something in his eyes that make your heart ache. they're glossy as if he's about to cry
"hi" he murmurs, his voice low
you scooch closer to him and lay a blanket over you two. "what's the matter? talk to me" you say gently, placing a hand on his knee
"nothing i'm just thinking"
"what are you thinking about?" you ask but he purses his lips together as if he's holding back cries "baby i can tell something is bothering you please talk to me. i'm here for you."
for a long moment colby didn't say anything. he just stared at the ground. it worry's you cause you dont want him to bottle everything up again
finally, colby takes a shaky breath "i dunno, i just-" his voice cracks "i- i feel like im hurting you like im f-failing you somehow"
your heart stops "what! colby no! where is this coming from?"
" im always busy. i feel like im not giving you what you deserve and i just feel bad" he admitted
you reach up, cupping his cheeks and then you turn his face towards you. "listen colby. youre not hurting me. and youre not failing me either. i love you so much" you pause to kiss his lips then you see his eyes glistening with tears
"but what if i do? i- what if i let you down"
"you'll never let me down unless you do something fucking stupid." you say as you catch a tear on his cheek with your thumb "you're everything to me. i can tell how much you care about me, about us and i love you colby. don't ever ever ever doubt that."
"you're not mad at me? for always leaving you for work?"
"i know how important your fans are to you and how important work is. how could i be mad at you for that? yeah i get lonely sometimes but that just makes me cherish the time we have together even more"
colby breaks. tears are now trickling down his cheeks "im sorry"
"hey don't apologize" you say softly, pulling him close to your chest and cradling his head
a couple minutes pass and you pull colby even closer, his head resting against your chest as you gently run your fingers through his hair. his body shakes slightly as he continues to cry "It's okay baby" you whisper softly
for a while, he doesn't say anything, just clings to you as if you'd slip away if he'd let go. you can feel his warm tears soaking through your shirt but you don't mind.
after a few moments, he shifts slightly, his arms wrapping tighter around your waist as his sobs start to settle down. "i don't want you feeling lonely" he mumbles against your chest, his voice hoarse from crying. "i just... i want to be better for you."
"colby youre already perfect for me," you murmur back, your hand still gently stroking his hair. "i don't need you to be anything more than who you are. you work hard, and i know how much it means to you. but im never going to feel like you're not giving me enough. you give me more than i could ever ask for."
colby lifts his head slightly, looking up at you with red, tear streaked eyes. the vulnerability in his expression makes your heart ache. "i just don't want you to feel like you're second to everything else in my life. i hate the idea of you thinking i don't care enough."
you shake your head, cupping his face in your hands again. "i don't feel that way at all. you always make time for me, even when you're busy. and when we're together, i can feel how much you love me. that's what matters."
colby takes in a shaky breath, leaning into you even more, he closes his eyes as if he's trying to soak in your words "y-you really mean that?"
you pull away from him and grab his face, brushing some tears off his cheeks "yes. i really do colby. i know youre busy but i never doubt how much you care about me. you show it in so many ways" you give him a reassuring smile then press a soft kiss to his forehead. when you pull away from the kiss you see there's still tears welling up in his eyes "oh baby, don't beat yourself up okay. i still love you and for the last time, youre not hurting me"
he nods but the sadness still lingers in his eyes. "i just feel bad." he mumbles but before you protest, he snuggles back into you, burying his head in your neck
"don't worry about it babe" you say reassuringly while you rub the back of his head "i mean i kinda signed up for it when i agreed to date the colby brock."
he giggles against you, you smile and rest your head on the top of his. "i don't deserve you" he mumbles
"you deserve everything good." you whisper against his hair, holding him tightly "and i'm so lucky to have you"
his arms tighten around you as he cuddles close. you two watch the stars and city lights for a few as his body shifts. now he's sideways in your lap, his breaths becoming more even as he calms down in your embrace. he doesn't say anything, but you can feel the tension slowly leaving his body. after a few minutes, you glance down and notice his eyes fluttering, the emotional exhaustion catching up to him.
"youre tired," you murmur, brushing a hand through his hair again. "lets go to bed."
he nods, but his grip on you doesn't loosen. "but i want you" he mumbles, his voice soft and drowsy.
"we can cuddle in bed. i just don't wanna freeze out here" you say while lifting his legs off of you.
you help him up from the balcony and guide him back inside. her stumbles a little, clearly drained, but he keeps his arms wrapped around you. once you reach the bed, he collapses onto it, pulling you down with him. his arms stay locked around your waist as he curls up against you, burying his face in your neck.
"stay," he mumbles, his voice muffled. "don't leave."
"im not going anywhere," you whisper, shifting so you're both more comfortable. you adjust the blanket over the two of you and gently stroke his back, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against yours.
colby's breathing begins to slow as he drifts off, but even in his sleep, he holds onto you tightly, his head resting on your chest. His usual confident demeanor has faded, replaced by the vulnerability of needing you close, and it melts your heart. you smile softly, pressing another kiss to his hair.
"i love you colby," you whisper. even though he's asleep, you feel him squeeze you just a little tighter, as if he heard every word
