His second wife (#SaRaj)

12) Rajat feeling guilty

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.........

Rajat groggily opened his eyes, wincing as the morning light pierced through his brain like a thousand daggers. His head throbbed with a relentless ache, a telltale sign of the previous night's excesses.

"Tara...Maa..." he croaked, his voice barely audible.

His sister walked into the room, a sly grin spreading across her face. "Good morning, rockstar," she said, handing him a glass of lemonade.

Rajat took a sip, the sour taste helping to cut through the fog in his mind. "What...what happened?" he asked, his memories hazy.

Tara chuckled. "You mean besides making a scene at the neighbor's house?"

Rajat's eyes widened as flashes of the previous night began to resurface. Savi's face, contorted in shock and hurt, appeared in his mind's eye. He recalled the anger, the harsh words, and the door slamming shut.

"No...no, I didn't," he muttered, rubbing his temples.

Tara raised an eyebrow. "Didn't what? Yell at Savi? Storm out of the house? Face-plant on the porch?"

Rajat's face burned with embarrassment. "Shut up, Tara."

His sister's grin softened. "Seriously, Rajat, what's going on with you and Savi?"

Rajat's gaze dropped, his mind reeling with regret. He needed to make things right.

Rajat's eyes remained shut, his mind wrestling with the events of the previous night. He cringed, recalling his harsh words and tone. His brutal statements to savi lingered in his memory, fueling his guilt.

"Why did I behave like that?" he thought, frustration creeping in.

He replayed their conversation, rationalizing his actions. "She was being nosy, interfering with Sai's upbringing. I have every right to protect my daughter."

Yet, the nagging feeling persisted. "But did I have to be so rude?"

Rajat's thoughts swirled, weighing his options.

Apologize and risk Savi thinking she's entitled to meddle in his life?
Or
stand firm, ensuring his boundaries remain intact?

As he deliberated, Tara's voice broke the silence. "Rajat, you okay? You've been quiet for a while."

Rajat opened his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...reassessing last night."

Tara nodded knowingly. "Maybe take responsibility for your actions, big brother?"

Rajat's gaze narrowed. "I didn't do anything wrong, Tara."

Tara raised an eyebrow. "Really? Then why's your conscience bothering you?"

Rajat's expression turned stoic, but his mind continued to grapple with the truth.

"All women are the same," he muttered to himself, still reeling from the memories of the previous night. But deep down, he knew that wasn't true.

Savi was different. Her sparkling eyes, her bright smile, and her kind heart had captivated him. He remembered the way she laughed, the way she listened, and the way she cared. But when he saw that?

Might be he saw savi playing with Sai. That's when he notice her behavior towards the kid and the person who loves kid could never be mean.

Deep inside he knew that this woman loves his daughter very much but....

Tara's voice interrupted his thoughts. "That's not true, Rajat. And even if it were, wouldn't that mean you're the same too - making the same mistakes over and over?"

Rajat looked up, meeting his sister's knowing gaze.

......

Rajat set off his hair looking the mirror and yelled, " Sai, come. It's time to go to school. Papa has a very important meeting.  He will get late. Come fast."

Sai came with her bag on her shoulder and her hairs were set into two pigtails. He looked at the mole Sai had above her upper lip. For a moment, he saw Ashika in her. He felt a rush of anger.

'Rajat calm down. Your reminder of failure can't let you hurt your own daughter. No. No suffocation for my Sai. Yes.' As soon as he said this to himself he remembered savi's word, 'You are suffocating your daughter.'

Was she right? If she was, then also he is controlling himself, right?

When Rajat opened his car for Sai. She saw her savi aunty and her face lit up.

' Savi Aunty....' She yelled. Savi look at her back and she saw Sai waving her hand. She smiled a bit and then she saw Rajat standing beside her.

'At least I'm not barren, unlike some people. You'll never know the joy of parenthood that's why you are filling your emptyness with my daughter. Stay away from my sai.' Rajat's word echoed in her ears.

'No Savi, you promised Isha Maa to stay away from Sai. You can't go to Sai even if your heart is not agreeing. Okay.' She thought and turned back and left for school.

Rajat's expression softened as Sai's face fell, her eyes welling up with disappointment. He knew exactly why Savi had ignored her.

"Sai, beta, let's go," Rajat said gently, trying to distract her.

But Sai's gaze lingered on Savi's retreating figure. "Papa, Savi Aunty didn't talk to me," she said, her voice trembling.

Rajat's heart sank. He hadn't considered how his actions might affect Sai's heart. Savi was right his daughter need some love and space. He couldn't parent her into robot. That's practically not possible. She was a kid and he was too harsh. Because of his action his daughter was upset and it aches his hurt.

But he couldn't show that. Facading a strictness was the way to not Sai step on her mother's path.

Was he really protecting Sai, or was he pushing away someone who genuinely cared for her?

Tara's words echoed in his mind: "Maybe take responsibility for your actions, big brother?"

Rajat glanced at Sai, her eyes still clouded with disappointment. He made a mental note to make things right, not just for Sai's sake, but for his own peace of mind.

Savi quickened her pace, ignoring the pang in her heart as she walked past Sai and Rajat. She had promised Isha Maa to focus on her own life, not get entangled in Rajat's.

"Why did I even come this way?" she thought, regretting her decision.

As she turned the corner, Savi couldn't shake off the memory of Sai's sparkling eyes and Rajat's piercing gaze. She felt a surge of guilt for ignoring the little girl.

"But what choice do I have?" she reasoned. "Mr Thakkar made it clear he doesn't want me around."

Savi's thoughts drifted to Isha Maa's words: "Your own happiness should be your priority, Savi. Don't let others define it."

Determined, Savi pushed aside her emotions and focused on the day ahead.

Meanwhile, Rajat watched Savi disappear from view, Sai's silent tears burning a hole in his conscience.

.......

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