How do I even begin to explain the signs?

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Gemini and Virgo are flawless.

Taurus and Libra each have two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.

I hear Leo's hair is insured for $10,000.

I hear Capricorn and Aquarius do car commercials... in Japan.

Cancer and Sagittarius' favorite movie is Varsity Blues.

One time, Scorpio met John Stamos on a plane... and he told her she was pretty.

One time, Aries and Pisces punched me in the face... IT WAS AWESOME.

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