July 28th
Finally! After what feels like over a year of excessive work and dieting, I'm finally finished with my competitive swimming season. It was all worth it though, after I soared into first place and beat my previous record. My coach was really happy with my performance. He's always really encouraged me to push myself, even when that dreaded doubt crept in. Even at twenty seven years old, I still feel like an anxious pre-teen with stage fright from time to time. Keeping track of my thoughts through this journal has helped a ton though.
Swimming was out of my mind for the next six months now. All I had to do now was soak in the easygoing vibes of my well deserved rest and relaxation period. No better way to start that than finally breaking away from my strict diet anchor. Bye bye to lean meats and vegetables, and hello deep fried greasy burgers!
The same night I'd get home from my last competition, it didn't take long for me to rush through a fast food delivery service. I guess the rounds of beers I'd gotten with the rest of my team didn't exactly keep my head very clear. That would explain the seven burgers I ordered. What was I even thinking? Better question, how the hell did I demolish them all in one sitting. It's seriously impressive how abs take years of work and care to maintain. But then one heavy meal comes along, and suddenly I look like a bloated beach whale.
Ah, well...at least worrying about my swimming figure can be in the back of my head for now. I deserve to relax a little.
August 1st
God, I hadn't realised how much I'd missed the taste of chocolate! I seriously somehow went months without this stuff? I've honestly lost count of how much of it I've been stuffing my face with over the past week. Didn't exactly help that I'd been sent so many hampers and other gifts from friends and family after winning my swimming season. Some of those things were packed to the brim with sweets, and other processed stuff. Haven't quite decided just yet if I'll keep everything to myself or not. I don't wanna be too greedy, I guess.
August 12th
My boyfriend surprised me with a little getaway for just the two of us. He's always really great with organising trips for when I end my seasons. I have to dedicate tons of time to training and competing, so getting to spend time with one another can end up becoming complicated. It makes me feel bad a lot of the time, like I'm somehow letting him down. He's always been super understanding though. If anything, it makes me really cherish getting to spend time with him. Ah, that's mushy. I'm hoping he doesn't secretly snoop on these notes...
August 15th
We've been staying at a pretty nice hotel. I hate to think how much it cost. At least we get free breakfast, lunch and dinners! Best believe I've been stacking my plates high with things I would have been banned from even catching a whiff of some few weeks ago. The pastries were always fatal for me. I've probably eaten more of them than the entire guest list of the hotel.
Aside from pigging out on an unlimited amount of food, we've been doing a bit of sightseeing around the local area. My boyfriend loves that sort of stuff. He could stay entertained by literally walking down a street he's never seen before. It's kinda cute honestly. We stopped at a few local markets, where obviously there's a ton of amazing food. I mentioned at one point that I didn't feel certain I should eat any more, but my boyfriend encouraged me. I think he realises I'm too hard on myself sometimes. I'm lucky to have him.
August 20th
I've been home for a few days, and am really starting to feel the effects of this holiday. I've felt bloated constantly over the past few days. I'm starting to feel like I even look it. Every time I catch a glimpse of my reflection, I'm taken aback by the small bump clearly visible underneath my shirt. Sometimes my abs can shine through, but for the majority of the time it's just a doughy blob. I've gotta start being more consistent with my diet again, and soon!
