Comfort Inn ( Lesbian Story )

Good Girl Gone Bad

F e n t y, R o b y n

My heart ached. I couldn't think straight. I had been dodging Jhene like she had the plaque or something. I couldn't muster up the courage to tell her what was going on. I was scared to lose her and I knew that the longer I waited, the more likely she'd be mad.

I sat in my car and watched Jhene say goodbye to her daughter.

I knew that would be the perfect time to sneak past her and wait at her apartment door.

I leaned against her door and looked up when I heard her footsteps.

"Why are you here?" She sighed.

It felt so good to hear her voice. I missed her.

"We need to talk." I said, following her into her apartment and closing the door behind me.

I couldn't allow her to push me away. I had to get it all out. I had to confess before it got too serious.

"Now you want to talk after being MIA for four days. I called you constantly worrying about you and now that you're ready you want to talk? No thanks." I could tell she was angry. I love when she got angry, she had this untouchable level of confidence.

It was extremely sexy.

"Jhene, sit down and listen!" I yelled. I slammed my hand on the table in front of her.

She jumped and bit down on the inside of her cheek. "Don't talk to me like that." She squeaked out.

I didn't mean to scare her.

I took a few deep breaths. "Look I'm sorry," I lifted my hand to ease her worries, but she flinched. I dropped my hand back down to my side and tried to hide the hurt. "Can we please just sit down and talk?" I softened my voice.

"Fine." She sat on the couch and waited for me to explain.

Now or never.

"I know I should have answered your phone calls... I just... I couldn't." I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. "I didn't want to talk to you until I got the results back."

"Results for what?" She asked.

I looked away. "That day I left, I got a call from someone I used to mess around with." I looked back at her. "She told me ... " I took a deep breath. "She told me she was HIV Positive."

I watched as her eyes widened. She got a sick look on her face. She looked away from me as the words processed. "What did the results say?" She questioned. I could tell she was hiding her emotions.

I ignored her question. I wasn't ready just yet. "When she told me that, I hit her a few times and stormed off. I cried in my car. I wasn't worried about myself, I was worried about you. I couldn't let my past damage my present. I-"

"WHAT DID THE RESULTS SAY?!" She shouted cutting me off.

I licked my lips. "I don't have HIV."

I could see the relief on her face.

"I-I have Chlamydia." I blurted out.

I watched as that relief morphed into disgust. She covered her mouth and rushed to the bathroom. I heard the door slam and the sound of her puking followed shortly after.

I could feel my heart shatter, I should have known this wasn't going to go smoothly.

I leaned against the bathroom door and began talking to her. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't ... I... I don't know what to do. I love you so much. I don't want-"

The door swung open and I stood to my feet quickly.

"Leave." Jhene said harshly. Her eyes were beginning to turn red and her cheeks had a few stray water droplets.

"I-I ... We need to-"

"I don't want to see you anymore." Her voice was monotone. She had a blank stare in her eyes.

I felt my own wall of emotions begin to crumble.

This can't be happening. I can't lose her.

I wrapped my arms are her waist and pulled her close. I looked down at her and blinked away my tears. "I'm not going to let this break us up Jhene. I love you. I haven't loved in so long and I-"

"Robyn." Jhene pushed against my chest. I backed away. "I can't be with you. I thought I could get pass your past but... It's affecting my life now and I can't.." She looked away and pointed to the door. "Just leave please."

"No." I shook my head and tried to grab her hand.

"Robyn leave." She said firmly.

I bit down on my lip to keep my tears at bay. "I-I'm so-"

"Leave." She shook her head.

I hung my head down. "You should um go to the clinic as soon as possible. I um... I'm really s-sorry." I swallowed down the sob threatening to escape. I walked out of her apartment and went down to my car. I got in, closed the door, and let it all out.

I held my chest with my left hand and covered my mouth my right as I cried.

I cried because I had held it all in for long enough. I cried because I had allowed myself to get into this situation. I cried because I had no reason to be strong anymore.

I cried because I had lost the only person I truly loved. Jhene left me. I had come with so much baggage. Me having this STD was the last straw. I had put her life at risk and this is the price I have to pay.

I just hope she'll be able to move on from this. I hope I didn't break her already damaged heart.

I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I cause her to go back to that shell of a person.

I love her too much to continue to hurt her. I have to respect her wishes.